I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords!
The Magnetic Storms raging over the surface of the sun leapt out with singular power. An invisible tendril of shock sped towards the innocent planet.
Swathed in billowy streaks of white, clad in proud deep blue and dark green with thatched brown areas, the little planet hardly knew what hit it.
The Magnetic Waves gushed with a silent deadliness through the Ionisphere, the Topisphere, the Spherisphere and the upper Atmosphere, finally coming to rest in the Leathersphere just outside of Provincetown. :eek:
At the exact moment that the first explosive force hemorraged those cobalt fuses in New York City- causing the cascading loss of power distribution, many other things happened on our tiny little planet.
In Abu Dabi, a herd of water buffalo shat in unison. Over 3 tons of feces hit the dirt at once.
In Taos, New Mexico, hand-blown goblets that showed bits of semi-fused amber in them spun around 360 degrees to align in perfect polarity with the North Pole.
A marching band of over 50 in Ottumwa, Iowa simultaneously orgasmed while doing marching drills outside in the blistering afternoon heat. Nobody noticed. The sudden fainting spells were attributed to heat prostration.
All of the printers in the offices of the Houston Chronicle began printing out the full length lyrics to “American Pie” by Don McClean, in Comic Sans MS 48 pt. type.
Avery Greatch, avid sportsfisherman and military vehicle afficionado, hooked the largest striped bass ever recorded in New York State history. Due to elevated PCB’s in the upper Hudson River, the fish had two tails and a head that approximated the profile of Kevin Bacon. He screamed, and threw it back in.
The planet shuddered in such a deeply profound way, that the subtle shift in cellular transfer of nutrients and DNA sequencing that is the result of the Magnetic Storms will not truly be realized for over 35,000 centuries. By then, the changes affecting us will become profound enough that the human race as we know it will have ceased to exist in toto.
Cartooniverse
No word on Radar O’Reilly.
A wizard did it.
It goes without saying that the Band was playing (Ahhhhhh…) Bach.
The guy left in charge of the grid pushed the red button, even though it was clearly marked:
“Never press this button!”
[sub](he’s a little embarrassed this morning)[/sub]
It’s an obvious ploy by the democrats. They don’t have anybody yet who is likely to carry the vote next year, so they did this so they can blame it on the republicans on Monday morning. " If Al Gore was president this would never have happened" etc etc. Once problems are resolved, Ms. Clinton will take credit for single-handedly getting everything back on track, and for keeping everyone calm in a crisis, thus adding 5 more voters who might consider her a good choice for president. Not a very effective use of time, but you know, desperate times, desperate measures.
The sad thing is… it is believeable…
I mean… not the part about the democrats causing it… but the rest of it could and will probably happen… lol
I’m not sayin’ who but, it was probably done in an effort to bring to our attention that it should be referred to as an “African-American Out” instead of a “BlackOut”.
Homer Simpson dripped jelly from his donut into the flux capacitor, causing an instantaneous 2.3 gigawatt overload.
It was the Colgate Cavity Creeps!
“WE MAKES HOLES IN TEETH!”
And, apparently, power lines.
Disgruntled hamsters.
I heard it was more than they could Handl and then they got their Rockmaninoff.
I agree completly. I say, the Amish, are plannin on taking over Canada and the U.S. This latest blackout was a test run to see whether they could successfully pull it off.
When the real time comes, the Amish will black out all of Canada and the United States. Because they have no use for electricity, and we do, they will be in their natural element, and we will be left in the dark [rimshot].
When the time comes, prepare to defend your home against Jebadiah and his two horse buggy.
How deluded you all are. Poor naive souls.
It was the Dutch, of course. Our super secret shadow government has been plotting it since 2000. They decided the United States needs a regime change, a phrase with which you might be familiar from watching such glorious wars as Desert Storm and Desert Storm II: Storm Harder. The idea was to knock out the power all over the East coast, and then emerge from the depths of the Atlantic in 20,000 clogshaped submarines to take over Washington and New York (which we of course rightfully own anyway, we’ll just give Suriname back to the Limeys).
It would have been in your best interest, really. We’ll get it right next time.
You didn’t hear it from me.
The Canadian Alliance, angry that no one in eastern Canada votes for them, shut off power to that area.
The rest was accidential.
I guess you’re not all being serious, otherwise the most obvious explanation would already have been stated: That it was a setup between the government and the power companies to justify huge subsidies to the power industry under the guise of improving infrastructure.
On a slightly more serious note, I was listening to Coast2Coast AM during the blackout out and surprise surprise - they had the usual supply of callers claiming government-conspiracy this, scalar weapons that…:smack:
The Cheat had one lightswitch rave too many.
He really has abused that extra, lower lightswitch hasn’t he?