Some kid called to try and sell New York Times on sunday, 2 PM. I told him we don’t know how to read. What was your last made up excuse?
The last one that called was for a charity…I give through work so that I don’t have to worry about it. They asked for me and I told them I was deceased. Of course this was the third one of the night
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
I tell Jehovah’s Witnesses that I’m Jewish.
I tell vinyl siding salesmen that I rent.
I tell long distance marketers that I make all my long distance calls from work.
Not an excuse, exactly… but I told the halting, script-reading and -dependent caller that I would subscribe to the Fairfax Journal right then… if she could tell me what her favorite article in yesterday’s edition was.
Me: “Oh, you don’t read it? Then why should I?”
More dead silence. Then a click.
I’ve used the deceased one as well. Seemed to work, Alberta Carpet Cleaning has finally quit calling after several years.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
As a college student, I always get calls from credit card companies. As soon as I hear the name of a credit card company, I’ve learned to say, “I’m seventeen, so I’m not eligible for your card. Thank you for calling, and have a nice day.”
Question authority–just not mine.
I also don’t do surveys. Or, I need to have them answer 3 questions:
- Will their survey bring world peace forever?
- Will their survey decrease the hole in the ozone layer?
- Will their survey wipe out viral diseases?
If no, no survey.
No excuse, I tell them I am not interested and tell them to take me off their list.
They can’t call back if you say that.
I had a problem wiht MCI calling me all the time, the last call I received from them helped them realize I meant business. “I prefer AT&T, quit calling me I don’t want your long distance, if you call me again I will contact the FCC and make a formal complaint.” or something to that degree.
Hey I might be a Libertarian, but I will use the current law to the best of my advantage…< giggles >
^ what techchick said…but I add… ohh and btw, I am dead.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
What TechChick said, with a small rider.
Telemarketers are doing a grunt job they undoubtedly hate, too. They yearn to say, "Hey, I’m pullin’ down a paycheck here; you think I love doing this??
The source of annoyance are the corporate dweezle-fumphs who decide this stuff sells.
My line is a civil, “No, I’m not interested. I want you to take me off your calling list, and I want your name, please?”
It hasn’t failed yet, but gives an “out” to the poor working slob on the other end of the line.
After putting up with these calls, one day it dawned on me: hey, these people don’t know who’s answering the phone! Next call, they asked for me. I replied “she’s not here.” But I now have caller I.D. (the best defense) - any number that doesn’t show up in the caller ID, it’s 99% certain it’s a telemarketer and I don’t answer (and they NEVER leave a message).
I tell them I’m an Amway distributor, then I say,“I’ll buy your stuff if you’ll buy mine”.
They always hang up, which I take to mean No.
When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is no longer our friend.
When a telephone salesperson calls:“Is this Mr. Berry?” me:“yes”. salesp: “How are you, today?” me:"well, aside from high blood pressure, diabeties, BPH, peripheral neuropathy & a bad cold, with feaver, runny nose, a cough, sore throat,sneezing & wttery eyes & an expoanding bald spot, not bad…Oh, I forgot to mention diarrhea!..EXCUSE ME!!! It works. If they haven’t hung up during the cold symtom list, the diarhea ends all calls…Fun, too!..remember, Zymurgy isthe last word!
Anyway, I told a telemarketer “giving away free magazines!” that I was blind. Worked!
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
I don’t usually use an excuse, I just flat-out tell them why I don’t want whatever it is.
Long-distance? “I make my calls for free over the internet and my husband sells Excel.”
Newspaper? “We have a TV and the Internet for our news, the paper you’re suggesting we buy (usually the San Francisco Chronicle) is nothing but boring non-news about the mayor’s new hat or what gay people* are mad about this week.” If it’s the San Jose Mercury: “Sorry, we don’t work nerd jobs so we have no use for your 20# ‘Silicon Valley Tech Notes.’”
Usually they take so long to pick up after their auto-dialer connects you can hang up before they say anything!
*This is not a rip on gay people, it’s a rip on the way the newspaper blows every cause out of proportion so the entire gay population looks absolutely rabid.
“You’ll find the chap stick right next to the public toothbrush on a string.” – Miss Gretchen
sometimes I give the phone to my 5 year old.
I tell Mom I’m at sea.
Just say no.
Loverock used smilies, and see where it got him?
I’m in Tokyo, so…
When the Jehovah’s Witnesses drop by I tell them I left America to get away from this kind of religious persecution and slam the door.
By the way, I didn’t mean to restrict this to telephone sales ahrrasment. Some of the best excuses are in the “it’s not my job” category.
Thanks for the great laugh, Pooch!
I’m afraid I have nothing to add to this thread. I usually just say sorry, not interested and hang up.
“I should not take bribes and Minister Bal Bahadur KC should not do so either. But if clerks take a bribe of Rs 50-60 after a hard day’s work, it is not an issue.” ----Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, Current Prime Minister of Nepal