In a couple of recent threads, the idea has been floated that certain cities (Seattle, for instance) are less “friendly” or more difficult for newcomers to integrate into a social group. I wonder if it’s not so much a regional thing, but more due to moving away from one’s hometown/college and having to start from scratch with no local connections. It seems to me that after college, it’s hard for people to make friends anywhere. Really, how many people do you meet outside of work?
IME, famously friendly Texans are no more warm and inviting than famously unfriendly New Yorkers. Similarly, I’ve not seen any real difference in ease of social integration in small towns vs. big cities. But it’s certainly possible that my sample size is too small to be diagnostic.
What are your experiences? Any particularly high/low points on the “plays well with others” index?
Suburban/small town South
Pacific Northwest
Nevada
Hawaii
Chicago
Southern California
Small town Midwest
A lot of stereotypes available there, and plenty who matched them. But the vast majority of people were seamlessly interchangeable from one region to any other
Suburban NJ: Surprisingly friendly but hard to break through the cliques. Having a decent number of people who stayed in state or moved back after college can make it challenging to become part of social groups. Also, if you are not from the area it can be really difficult to find people to socialize with.
Las Vegas, NV: Friendly people with a decent number of out of state folks. It was not difficult to make friends but it seemed like we all had very different schedules. I was only partially working in the service industry and was scheduled around a very standard day job.
Pittsburgh, PA: Polite people but I would not consider it to be an overly friendly city. Lots of students and recent grads made it easier to find people to hang out with if you knew where to look. They also have the same issue as suburban NJ with cliques of locals being very hard to join. Great place to make friends if you are into sports.
Austin, TX: Lots of friendly and outgoing people. Most of the people that I have met here are not from the area. There are lots of places to meet people with different interests.
Out of the 4 places I have lived for any significant amount of time, Pittsburgh and Austin were by far the easiest locations to make friends.
When I lived in San Diego (OB), I had zero friends.
There was a strip (A couple of blocks lined with nothing but bars and restaurants) that was with in walking distance.
On my very first venture into one; I sat at the bar for a total of about 30mins, a couple sitting about three tables down from me made it a point to yell across the bar: “Excuse me? Are you alone?” [yes] “Well, come join us”
The then went on to introduce me to all the locals. And when I told them I was from Texas, not one snark was made. [which, they would have been well with in their rights too. :D]
I’ve had similar experiences the whole time I lived in San Diego. I’ve never had that in Dallas.
So you can imagine my surprise when I came back to Dallas and met a man who had just recently moved here from San Diego, his exact words were: “Man, people here in Dallas are so friendly. People from my town (San Diego) are such dicks.”