I would like a Fisher-Paykel dishwasher or a trimline Miele. I have a galley kitchen that is very cramped.
Now my microwave is dead, and I just dont’ care! So I take meat out of the freeze two days ahead of time and popcorn is popped on the stove (way delicioso). Though I miss the overhead light that it provided over the stove. But microwaves are considered indispensible, like phones and TV’s, every household must have one! So the next one i get should be high wattage with a carousel.
You know, not to point out the obvious, but if it bothers you this much, can’t you just buy the kind of olives with the pits already removed - sometimes with a decorous piece of pimento?
Jpeg Jones: Uh, thanks, but I am looking for more of an ELECTRICAL Cat Repellent Device.
My husband, however, thinks your suggestions is HYSTERICAL and he will probably go looking for one this weekend. (He especially likes the “stabilizer screw” - f’ing engineers …)
I want one of them Star Trek food replicators, or whatever you call them. Won’t need no stove, no dishwasher, no fridge, no nothing. Just what I want, when I want it. Beat that, I dare y’all.
Ironically, my fantasy kitchen and my fantasy garage both have the most important item in common: a drain in the floor.
A woman.
Darn! I knew someone would beat me to it! If I had one of those, I would think of better things to say than “Tea. Earl gray. Hot.”
My mom always said that if she had her way, she would have had all the appliances ripped out, put vending machines all around the walls, and a drain put in the middle of the floor so she could just hose the kitchen down after us slobby kids got through with the kitchen.
I want a waste disposal unit. Where I live at the moment has a septic tank rather than mains drainage 
so I can’t have one.
I want one because I want to conduct scientific experiments on it to aid me in my quest to create an unholy supercreature… plus I can tack a piece of canvas to the ceiling and call it Art…
Belrix - because they ming. I like big juicy black Greek olives, and I can’t find those without pits. The pre-pitted black olives readily available around here taste like tire rubber. When I’m eating olives as olives, I’m happy to spit the pits out, but that kind of doesn’t work when I’m making tapenade.
I’ve always wanted a Sears Wet-Dry Shop Vac mounted on some sort of overhead track over my cooking surfaces, or on some sort of apparatus like the dentist’s light so you could push it out of the way when you didn’t need it. After kneading out the pizza crust, you just pull it over to suck up the excess flour. Scraps on the cutting board? No problem.
We were at Sears to buy a larger shop vac (damn water in our basement) and they had the little hand held ones on sale for half price ($20). I have to go back and get one. I just think that a true Guy Kitchen can’t be complete without a Sears Wet-Dry Shop Vac.
You’d have to hack it to allow you to make real alchohol. F*** all that synthahol stuff!
I actually have my dream kitchen. We moved into this house in 1991 and the first year we were here we redesigned the kitchen. I chose:
2 Dacor convection ovens
Dacor pinnacle hood so my cooktop can be in the middle of the kitchen without a huge hood hanging there
gagganau cooktop with 6000, 9000 and 16000 btu burners
all the lower cabinets have built in drawers that are adjustable, I have a lazy susan corner cabinet and a half lazy susan corner cabinet so every bit of space is accessible and usable
upper cabinets all have adjustable shelves
Asko Asea dishwasher–quietest thing imaginable and cleans things that have been sitting in there unrinsed for a week
trash compactor–first one we’ve had, I’ll always have one
hot water dispenser (absolute must have–I’ve had one of these in every kitchen since 1976 )
my favorite refrigerator was the Kenmore that just died on us
One of the things that really stunned me when we went looking for a refrigerator was that the one I had was better than anything new. But because the problem was seals leaking we decided not to repair it. We went with a Kenmore elite which we liked better than anything else, but the whole family complains about the lack of storage of this one compared to our other one. It is only about .5 cubic feet smaller, but the design is much less efficient.
We also saw a really neat GE refrigerator freezer that was actually one whole refrigerator opens to the right, and a separate freezer the same size opens to the left. I would have loved to have had that kind of space, but my kitchen wouldn’t allow it.