You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink…
I have no idea why this one is a favorite. I used to love horses as a child but I now know what it means.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Que sera sera and Carpe Diem are my favorite classics.
From my mother: “Ah California, the land of fruit and nuts…”
From a Serbian friend: “Hit me with a pebble, and I’ll hit you with a rock.”
“The existance of the flamethrower indicates that at one time somebody sat down and though ‘You know, I’d really like to set those people there on fire, but I’m just too far away to get the job done’”.
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.”
And YET you’ll find the strength to carry on!
That which doesn’t kill us…really pisses me off.
The Lord hates a coward!
That which doesn’t kill me nevertheless has the potential to permanently cripple me.
This too will pass. (Virgil)
This too will pass. (Virgil)
I wouldn’t pee in his ear if his hat was on fire. (for someone you hold in disdain)
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
If the dog hadn’t stopped to shit, he woulda caught the rabbit.
Don’t shit where you eat.
As useless as tits on a boar.
And this one from a lumberjack I worked with up in Shasta County …
Sweeter than sugar pussy.
A couple gems from my Dad:
“If it ain’t broke, don’t touch it, because you break everything.”
*I sure did. I’m actually quite handy now. I think I broke stuff because I wanted to see what made it tick. *
“Never live West of where you work.”
Pray for peace, but plan for war.
If someone’s not quite right, he’s “half a bubble off plumb”.
One of my favorites is a take on an old one:
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man religion, and he’ll starve to death praying for fish.
2 wrongs don’t make a right, but 3 lefts do.
Great spirits have always met violent opposition from mediocre minds. -Albert Einstein
jon_pi, there’s always “Give a man a fish, and he’ll drink for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll drink for a lifetime.”
You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think.
“People are like mushrooms: Keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em on bullshit.”
“Even the monkey sometimes slips” (Korean). Best advice I’ve ever received. Your enemies may be formidable, but they’re human nevertheless and therefore will eventually make a fatal mistake.
Before you criticize someone else, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way, when you’ve criticized them, they’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
That’s a great one! It will be used the next time I’m in the field.
The two I like the best are imported:
“If you [defecate] on the road, expect to meet flies on your return.” -Kenya
“Ignorance doesn’t kill you, but it sure makes you sweat a lot.” -Haiti
And a recent one:
“Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you’re still retarded.” -Attrib. Lost
I like them all but I think I absorbed too much in one go… 
(PC was down)
Now all I got to do is find opportunities to use 'em!
Wisdom, as my old lecturer said is the deployment of knowledge.