I figured I would go all out with the most inane thread started since “Best use of a Neil Diamond song in a movie”.
I like the white out pen things. With the white out tape in them? I love to stick that crap everywhere.
I also love to grind pencils down in the turbo pencil sharpene we have here.
Now to watch this thread sink into the abyss…
I’m with you on the white-out tape thing, I’m like a kid on Christmas with one of those. Also tape, I go through a roll of tape like water when I’m bored.
I like bending paperclips in each nostril, to give me a nose ring. And i like to feed things in the shredder, or the electric stapler. And i guess I abuse the Office internet connection!
The rubber things you put on your thumb. I am hopelessly addicted to them and I lose them all the time. Actually, when I get to work, I hum that song, “Where is thumbkin? Where is thumbkin?” Ghey, I know.
I bend paperclips too. NOT into my nostrils though. That is just gross! 
I ben paperclips into weird geometric shapes when I am on the phone. And then I throw them away.
Post-it bandit here. And there. And everywhere.
My name is Zebra, and I chew pens. (hi Zebra)
You should see the pens in my little pen cup. They’re fairly disgusting.
Post-Its and Post-It Flags. Love 'em, stick 'em everywhere.
Another paper clip bender here. Looking at my desk I see at least 4 mangled clips.
Guess I’m a weirdo. I just looked around, and I’ve got a bejillion post-its stuck on things, but that’s just use and not abuse.
The only bent paper clip is the one I needed to poke the reset button on someone’s locked-up Palm.
However… if network resources and the internet are office supplies, then I abuse the hell out of them. Ah, the things you can do when you know the names of the proxy servers and their ports… 
I adore Post-it flags. The mailroom just got in orange ones the other day. Now my rainbow is complete!
Note, I have no real business need for Post-it flags…
Paperclip person here. I like to fold them into hoppers.
Unfold the paperclip until you have a triangle with a gap between the 2 ends. Try to get the 2 ends to stay together - slightly over lapping, may be frustrating at first until you get the hang of it. Set this carefully on the table top and watch it jump in the air.
Yes, I am easily amused
I use Post-its and Pilot roller-ball pens by the caseload.
Post-It Flags have an uncanny tendency to make their way home with me. Then they go and insert themselves in cookbooks - conveniently on the pages with recipes I’m interested in trying. Sneaky little buggers.
Then there are the various pens that decide to hop along into my tote bag. They must be adventurous, for they LOVE to get out of the office.
I have a rubber thumb on my desk, Indygrrl - a coworker uses them, and had to buy a box of 12, which was the smallest size available. I took one just for the hell of it. I never use it, but it looks weird standing up on my desk.
If you fold them in half to make them more rigid, you can use the 1.5" x 2" post-it notes to floss and pick your teeth after lunch (in private of course). I don’t think I’ve ever written on more that a few of them, but I seem to be needing a new supply every few weeks.
Hey, I’ve done that.
All of the above. I have grinded probably bucketloads of plastic pencaps into nonexistence (after so many mouthfuls of ink, I learned not to chew too hard on the actual pen). I also play with those little staple-remover things; man, those look wicked, with the fangs and all, don’t they? I’m also proud to say I can bend a paperclip back into a perfectly straight wire (VERY hard).
Paperclips are better than Q-Tips (oh how I wish I could do that with the annoying little Microsoft Paperclip guy).
I steal pens. Compulsively. I don’t even realize when I take them until I get home, and find at least 6 in my pocket. I put them on my dresser, and repeat the process the next day.
Correcting Fluid.
I’m almost finished with the off-white living room. Now for goldenrod in the bath.