George Dubya has had some good ones, like “Sometimes it’s hard to put food on your family”.
I found the following poem on the internet at http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,807587,00.html
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our
wings take dream. Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
I’ve been saying “That’s the way the cookie bounces” since high school, so… twenty years or so?
I’ve been using this one for years also. Just said it yesterday afternoon, in fact. Don’t recall where I first heard it. And like you, nobody ever actually calls me on it, but I sometimes get an odd look.
I know I’ve posted these before, but every opportunity I get, they make me giggle to pass on:
From my roommate:
“Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.”
“That’s an old wise tale.”
“She has to go through the whole rigor mortis [rigamarole].”
“I’ll kick his ass to next Tuesday. He’ll get there by Wednesday.”
I heard someone say yesterday, “I can kill two birds with one bush!” apparently mixing “Kill two birds with one stone” and “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
I’m always amused by people who refer to something as “the thin *edge * of the wedge”. It simply doesn’t make any sense. I think they mean “the thin *end * of the wedge”.