This may very well have been asked before, but the board is running in geologic time again, and I don’t want to do a search. So here it is:
What’s the most petty, insignificant thing that is always a deal breaker when looking for a potential mate? I don’t mean finding out that the guy you’ve been talking to all night is actually a Klan member, or if that cute girl suddenly starts telling you about the time she was abducted by aliens. I mean stuff that you know is ridiculously unimportant. I’ll give you the example that prompted this thread:
I was at a party the other night, and I was tlaking to this girl who seemed pretty smart and funny (taking into consideration all the beer that had been consumed at the party to that point) and was actually interested in me. Plus she was cute. Now, in terms of rarity, a smart, cute, funny girl who is interested in me ranks right up there with being struck by lightning while being eaten by a shark on the day you win the lottery. So, I was pretty psyched, things seemed to be going really well, and then it happened: Somehow, the Simpsons came up, and she said, “Oh, I never really liked the Simpsons.” And I instantly lost interest in her. Even physically. Like she’d flipped a switch. We talked for another five minutes, I excused myself for some made-up reason, and I spent the rest of the party avoiding her.
This has been bugging me for a week. It’s just a freakin’ TV show! Hell, between the mediocre last season and the fact that I’ve seen all the older episodes a bazillion times, I don’t even watch it that much anymore. This woman had loads of other wonderful qualities, the chief of them being that she seemed willing to have sex with me, and I blew her off for a goddamn cartoon! And I’d do it again. I always knew I was petty, but realizing the extent of it kind of threw me.
So, anyone else have some similarly unreasonable dating standards?
I’ve always found crooked teeth to be a turn off. I’ve never kissed anyone with crooked teeth. I just can’t get past it. Teeth are usually the first thing I notice about people.
I’m engaged now, but from when I played the field (stop snickering; yeah you): any woman who takes astrology, or psychics in general the tiniest bit seriously; any woman who has ever called a psychic hot line for any reason.
Football (soccer). If a guy isn’t into it, it’s just not gonna happen for us. This probably seems really petty, but in actuality I’ve just found that it’s so much of a problem for guys that I’ve gone out with. They don’t understand why I spend loads of my time and money travelling to see my team play (in another country) every chance I get, and I’m tired of having to defend it. So now if they can’t get it, I just don’t bother with them.
Bad handwriting. OK, that is seriously petty. It’s not like I’ve ever seriously written a guy off because of it. But all other things being equal, I’ll pick the guy with good handwriting any time.
Jeez, why you people are so arbitrary? None of you even have to talk to a person to decide that you have no interest in them? Only cher3 mentioned something that is a real personality trait.
My standards aren’t as low as they used to be, but in my most desperate days, going through one disappointing one night stand after another, I used to joke I had only two standards:
1 - I had to be able to keep my appetite when I looked at her,
and
2 - I had to be able to lift her unassisted.
Then I discovered what my problem was, and nowadays I have another standard:
3 - She has to be smarter than me.
Guess what - that one did the trick!
I encounter compatible potential mates much less frequently now, but the relationships work out a lot better and last longer.
[sub]Of course I’m not married. I’m not stupid![/sub]
Cher3, I will definitely go along with the facial hair. Yuk! My current SO is maintaining a “soul patch” and I hate it. HATE IT! I don’t even want to kiss him any more; he’s become so much less attractive because of about 2cm of hair.
I’m also turned off by people who are supertitious. When someone tells me about their good luck charms or how worried they are about Friday the 13th or some other nonsense, I think they need to spend more time in therapy and less time in public. I include in this group people who are afraid of talking to answering machines. They mention this as if it were some sort of heroic trait instead of a deep-seated psychological problem.
I have other turn-offs but those two are the most arbitrary. For now.
When I was single, I couldn’t stand girls who were constantly chewing and smacking gum. I don’t mean a piece of gum now and then, I mean chewing like a cow with a cud. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack…just shoot me already!
it drives me up the wall if i am talking to a prospective SO on the phone, and they are eating while on the phone. It sends chills up my spine… and not the good kind. I don’t end it because of that, but it is definitely a turn-off.
Guys with long hair. They could be ultra hot and have the body of a greek god, but if they have long hair, it turns me off. (i’ll also frequently think: He’d look SO much better with short hair)
A minor one is full beards. I just dont find them attractive. (But i find things like goatees hot).
Not exactly turn-offs, but I keep finding out little things about my wife that worry me a little. The most recent is the discovery that she thinks global warming is a real problem and that humans are the cause of it. She also doesn’t like Blade Runner. :eek:
Another vote for full beards. Or mustaches. I like a goatee/mustache combo but no other facial hair.
Bad personal hygiene.
A good sense of humor is a must-I can’t be with someone who doesn’t get silly every so often.
If I were back in the dating arena, I’d have to count out any man who couldn’t express himself intelligently. Not that I require an orator, but if a man has an over-reliance on obscenity, verbal crutches (ya know??), poor grammar, or trendy catch phrases, I begin to doubt that he’s capable of original thought… or any thought, for that matter.
I’ve been told I’m a language snob. So sue me. Ya know?
