What's Your Stupidest Fight Ever?

A few nights ago my SO and I were in bed and I was almost asleep. Suddenly S.O. says to me:

“How come you didn’t tell me how to mumble when I wanted you to mumble?”
Me: What?
SO: I told you to let me know!
Me: What are you talking about?
SO: sighs angrily whatever.
Me: No, what?
Me: No, what are you talking about? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me!
SO: Just forget it. Never mind.
Me: Fine, you don’t have to get so bitchy. You’re the one who asked. I just didn’t understand what you said.
Me: Excuse me?

This went on for some time, escalating into him name-calling and being increasingly frustrated, until I eventually left the room and slept in the spare room (the first time we had slept in separate rooms b/c of a fight.)

He got up in the middle of the night and came into the other room.
SO: Why are you in here?
Me: don’t start again now.
SO: What are you talking about? What happened?

There was a pause as I looked at him and realized he didn’t have a clue what had just transpired.
And that was the night I found out he talks in his sleep.

So what’s the stupidest fight you ever had with someone?

As soon as I saw this thread, I relived the stupidest fight I ever had. It was with my best friend. We were in year 7. It was about who could draw a better pad (you know, the period kind. Not the drawing kind).

It was part of the health education section of our science class, and they were demystifying pads for us or something. So we had to draw an advertisement for sanitary pads. I’d started drawing mine and was pretty happy with it, and she drew another one on a different angle down the bottom of the page. Of course, perfectionist little me didn’t like that the dimensions of the pads weren’t the same (hers was a lot skinnier than mine. And smaller.).

Me: Don’t you think all the drawings should look the same?
Her: Huh?
Me: Cos your pad is a lot smaller than mine. I’ll erase yours and draw another one.
Her: But I like my pad!
Me: But they don’t match. And mine is really a lot better.
Her: No it isn’t.
Other friend: Who cares?
Me: I’m just saying. They’re not the same size and it looks stupid.
Her: No it doesn’t.
Me: Yeah it does. It doesn’t make sense that they’d have one lopsided pad.
Her: Maybe you should change yours then.
Me: Mine is a lot nicer than yours.
Her: Are you saying that I can’t draw?
Me: I’m saying that you can’t draw pads.
Other friend: Guys. It’s a freaking pad.

It went on for awhile and in the end, my friend and I were in tears, with our other friend completely and utterly bewildered.

Over a woman, of course.

This one’s funny not because of the fight itself, but the outcome.

I had this boyfriend way back with whom I had a rather tumultuous relationship. We were in a hotel lobby having one of our usual fights, I can’t remember now what over. We were sitting on the edge of a planter box filled with plastic plants. I got frustrated with him and grabbed my pile of stuff that was sitting next to me and began to walk out. I had gone a few steps when I realized I had inadvertently grabbed one of the plastic plants along with it, so I turned and threw it back toward the planter without really looking.

He followed me out onto the sidewalk and continued the fight. I said something, and he countered with, “Yeah, and then you hit me with a plastic fern!” That ended the fight, because I was laughing too hard to continue. Apparently, when I threw the plant back, it smacked him right in the middle of the chest. I couldn’t have planned that if I had tried.

Actually, a lot of our fights ended with me laughing over some ridiculous thing he’d pointed out. There was another time we were in a motel room, and having a massive misunderstanding. He was laying on the bed, and at some point I got so frustrated with being unable to get him to understand what I was trying to say, I started jumping on the bed. He said a little later, “You know, you did a touchdown dance on me back there.”

Funny guy, but he was still an asshole.

My boyfriend and I were talking on ICQ and I asked him to come over. He replied that he was trying to organize an Unreal Tournament game, so I told him that in that case, he didn’t need to come over. (I really did have good intentions; I didn’t want to interrupt any plans of his.) His reply was a rather snippy “Jeez, it’s kind of hard to do anything over here since I need to be at your beck and call” and that was all the encouragement I needed to start a fight, being in a bad mood at the time. The fiery exchange of ICQ messages turned into bitchy text messages and ended with “So I’ll be bringing your CDs and shirt over tomorrow, then.”

The next day, I went over to his house in the morning. He opened the door, I stepped in, I took off my jacket and shoes, he sat down on the couch. (We didn’t look at each other once…no, actually, he did glare at me when he first opened the door.) After about 5 minutes of silent fuming, I gave up.

auRa: “You know this is the most stupid fight we’ve ever been in?”
boyfriend: silence
a: “I mean, I totally flew off the handle, so did you, both of us are acting like idiots.”
b: silence, glare
a: “Okay, you need to say something here, too.”
b: looks to one side, leans over in a conspiratorial manner “I have new socks on.”

I don’t stay mad when I’m laughing.

Do not fight over ICQ, e-mails, or text messages. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But this was fairly early in our relationship, so it did result in some heavy-duty cuddling and “I’m sorry” “No I’M sorry”-type overly cute things. :slight_smile:

I was at a Ronnie James Dio concert in San Bernardino, Cali, in 1984. At the time I was in the Army.

During an intermission, some guy asked me for a light. Actually, he said, “Hey Jarhead, can I get a light?”

Of course, since I wasn’t a “jarhead”, I proceeded to beat his ass. I then got thrown out of the concert by security.

Pretty stupid, when I thought about it later.

Sounds as if the guy wasn’t too swift. If he’d asked the question of an actual jarhead [= Marine], he’d have been lucky to survive.

Right now, actually. I wanted to put something up on the wall, and needed his help to hold it. He then told me to try putting the screw in BEFORE putting the hanging on the wall, but he was kind of moving it away as I was trying to aim for the hole. So I guess I snapped a little “Stop moving it!” He insisted that he didn’t, and I insisted that he did, things just escalated, and he ended up walking away - I threw a roll of paper towels at him and insulted him pretty badly (BTW - today is his B-day too…). He hasn’t talked to me since, and I finished the job, with a LOT of trouble, because it was at a difficult and annoying angle.

I know we’re both tired, but right now, I am really annoyed at him. I don’t feel like he wanted to help me, and from the very start was making the whole thing harder than it had to be. So maybe I was a little short in the way I asked him to stop moving it, bit it was hard enough to get the damn screw in to begin with! And right now I don’t really care if it is his birthday today - I got his gift, and paid for dinner. My birthday was a week ago and he didn’t offer a damn thing (yeah, I kind of hold that against him, but I understand too that with the move into the new place, and starting new jobs, and our anniversary and both our b-days in the space of 10 days, it gets a little hectic…).

I guess in a short while one of us will say something and this will all be sorted out before bedtime (thats how it usually is - I can’t sleep when I’m angry). But right now…AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!

Pro-active break-up.

The logic was as follows: We care about each other very much. In fact, if we broke up and there were hard feelings, it would ruin the marvelous friendship we also share. Therefore, let’s break up now, before we become too attached to one another, so we can maintain our relationship!

this happened to a friend of mine, she was living with her boyfriend and pmsing like mad and she had this lil cactus plant…she came home after a bad day at work and found it dead…she started bawling n throwing things and then her boyfriend came home. she blamed it on him of course

Her: “U F***ing BASTARD, u killed my plant!!”
him: what the hell r u talking about?
her: u killed it, how could u do such a thing?!?! cry cry cry
him: ok, u need to calm down, cuz i didnt go and kill ur damn plant
her: like hell u didnt, im gonna fucking kill u!!!

argument continues until she eventually jumped on him and started punching him in the face…theyre still together tho, surprisingly enough