You know, the person doesn’t call when they said they would, doesn’t show up at the time they said…I seem less tolerant as I get older. I like to think of it like a baseball game or a courtroom, three strikes & you’re out.
But maybe I should give them more chances. What do you all think about how long you’ll put up with people who stand you up?
Time wise…ill wait for them max 30 minutes past the time they were soposted show up…but only once unless they have a good excuse or if they mean alot to me…at which time will most likely start another cycle of abuse…sigh Sorta reminds me of the song “self esteam” bu offsping…anywho toodles.
P.S…im my posts you may be alot of spelling errors and such…trust me im not stupid…just dont care
If you want to be taken seriously at these boards, you’ll need to care. People here have only a small tolerance for spelling errors. After a while your posts will be ignored if you continue to “not care” about spelling.
Haha okie then, i’ll play this game. A teacher once told me something nifty “If you don’t play the game, the game plays you.” Lets play 
I don’t care too much (about being stood up). I’m not really a people person anyway and half the time I’m relieved and would rather be by myself. As for spelling however. I expect people to at least make an effort. I’m not perfect, but I keep a dictionary by the computer because some things I can never remember.
I give someone a good hour or two the first time. They better have a good excuse why they didn’t show up, or were that late. When their excuse is lame, it won’t happen again, because I won’t plan anything with them again.
Some people always have an excuse for being a half hour late. After a few of these, I tell them a time one hour before I plan on showing up. They can wait. I don’t make plans with them again, if they’re not there waiting.
My sister used to get told we were leaving at a certain time, and she had better be ready. After a while we started leaving her home while we went out for dinner, the mall, or hiking. She caught on after a few months. This was her four hours to do her hair period, and then when it wasn’t perfect, wash and start over. Four cans of hair spray a week.
If it’s a friend, I’ll give them up to 30 minutes, then I do something else. If it’s a date, and he’s 15 minutes late, with no call to tell me he will be late, I’m gone after 15 minutes. If he does show up, I’m not there. It only takes one time. If he calls again after this happens, most likely I’ll give him another chance. If he doesn’t, then I figure he wasn’t that interested anyway so no loss.
For a friend, a half hour or hour, no problem. If they’re delayed I figure it’s for a good reason, no harm no foul, and just hope they’re okay.
For business or a date, 30 minutes. If there is a good explantion, and an apology, then there’s a second chance. If there’s the faintest tinge of arrogance or power-tripping, then the axe falls–and it’s permanent.
I have and do date only reluctantly, because I’m not good at it: happy loner, content w/ books, my own company, etc. IMO, the only legitimate reason to spend time with another person is for enjoyment of the company. Head games, sick little ego ploys, etc. leave me cold. Anyone who pulls that crap isn’t worth my time.
That sounds snottier than I mean it to. I’ll cut friends endless slack. But friends don’t do that to friends.
Veb
Zero tolerance for being stood up. That is why for the last 6 years, I have spent all my time with my cats.
Half an hour. Once.
If they have a REALLY good excuse I’ll forgive them. But if they do it again, I won’t be bothered.
And I’m not that old - I think it’s your bullshit detector that gets honed, not your age that does it. smile
-Elthia
For being late – once, maybe twice, with an apology – I don’t care about excuses. The occasionally screwup happens; miscommunication and all that, but more than twice or twice in a row is habitual lateness, and I won’t put up with that from anyone. I see people with bumper stickers that say “Always late, but worth the wait.” I hate those people.
For not showing up at all and no call: Zero tolerance. Unless there was a genuine life-or-death crisis, we’re done.
Catrandom
I’m one of those annoying people who’s always early for everything. My friends and I also have that “30-minute leeway” rule. We agree that if the other’s a half-hour late, whatever we’ve planned is off and the waitee can leave without recrimination.
My main gripe is doctors and dentists who make an “appointment” with you and keep you waiting for hours. I’m not talking about emergencies—but regular tardiness (“tardiness”—I’m starting to sound like my 8th-grade math teacher now!). I’ll get up and leave if I have to wait too long in a waiting room. Screw 'em, I’ll find another doctor, who knows how to keep to a schedule.
Dates? A date has NEVER kept me waiting. They show up with bells on. And sometimes clothing, too.
I’m with Eve; I’m constanly early for events. I blame my father for this. He trained me to leave early, just in case of a delay (car broke down, traffic, earthquake, etc.).
But even knowing that I’m abberrant, I still get irritated by people that are late. Everyone has datebooks, PDIs, palmtops, and dozens of ways to make sure they are on time for appointments, yet they still manage to run late. And the ones that habitually run late are NEVER apologetic!
Being prompt is becoming a lost art, like saying “please” and “thank you”, and other manners.
Guy, Eve, I’d be the one with you waiting for the rest to arrive. I’m always early too.
As for waiting, I’ll wait 1/2 hr. Once.
One of my pet peeves is people who say they will be there at a certain time and don’t show and don’t call. If you are going to be late, call me and tell me. Don’t just assume it’s ok to blow me off and have me worry. Grrrr. Just thinking about it gets my nerves on edge.
Assuming that it’s for an event, and not just a “I’m coming over to hang out”, then I’ll wait about an hour, or until the event (show, movie, whatever) starts. I generally don’t get annoyed unless it’s for something that’s going to start at a certain time, like a movie. A friend of mine stood me up after he asked me to buy us both tickets for a movie. He only got a chance to do this one time.
'A friend of mine stood me up after he
asked me to buy us both tickets for a movie. ’
I noticed that. People are more responsible about showing up if they paid for their own way. Planes, films, whatever.
I’ll caveat this by saying I’m always late. Always. Usually about 10-15 minutes, sometimes as much as a half hour, but rarely more than that. I’ve been getting much better lately, though, of being on time.
That said, I have little tolerance for lateness or being stood up.
I’ll wait 30 minutes, no more. That’s what we have cell phones for (and one of the main reasons I got one). Old and dear friends (and hotties I met from AOL) get a little leeway, but not much. Bonus points if we’re meeting somewhere where I can waste the time without being bored (bookstore, etc.)
Stand me up? No second chance. Even for friends (lost my best friend of 6 years this way).
Call and cancel at the very last minute? You get 3 strikes before you’re out (at least you called).
Esprix
I can’t seem to find a happy medium. Either I’m enormously early (good thing I can entertain myself) or I’m running late. I’m out the door half an hour early prepared for Martian assault craft to land or I’m hopping on one foot, trying to pull on the crushed shoe I just dragged out from under the desk, with two runs in my hose, hair that looks like my cat’s been sleeping on it, and a makeup job that rivals the lady in Airplane!.
That being said, when I know I’m running late, I call - even if it’s only to leave a message. And, I grovel. I give quality grovel. I pride myself on my ability to grovel with the best of them.
So, I tend to be pretty forgiving of others when they’re running late. It happens pretty rarely to me, actually. However, if it’s a date or business meeting, my standards go way up. If there’s lateness past five or ten minutes, I expect a call and quality grovel in return.
Mr. CandyBoi:
I understand about your spelling. It reflects on you though, because it is the only evidence we see of you. It is however, better to be an apathetic speller (sometimes the mood hits yew), than a seemingly over serious, pretentious, (insert appropriate noun here). Let’s face it, judging by most of the usernames here, people don’t care too much about being taken seriously. For that, we have Real Life. Enjoy the messageboard, have fun, don’t take anything too seriously unless it involves someone dying, and Never, Ever wait more that 20 minutes for a person on a first date. Ever! I did. That woman was late for everything. The record, was me, sitting in her livingroom for over 4.5 hours. I actually have no idea what she was doing all that time…
Wonko ducks and runs for cover (while wearing asbestos superman underoos) from the inevitable flame war.
Never happened, so I dunno.