GodFUCKINGdammit. I HATE being stood up. That is the A-number-one way to lose my trust. And believe you me people, it is VERY easy to do that. It is NOT easy to regain it when you’ve lost it either. He better be prepared to talk very very fast when next we meet or I will remain in this mood. ESPECIALLY since I was hoping to do some trading for jewelry which I wanted to give to my sisters for Christmas. AND bought cookies from Old Salem for his Christmas presents. Cookies which I will now SMASH INTO TINY CRUMBS IN FRUSTRATION.
In short: DO NOT tell me one thing and then go do another without telling me first. EVER. I don’t care who the fuck you are. DO NOT STAND ME UP.
There are not enough mad smileys in the world to express the fury burning in me right now.
I understand. My SO is chronrically late to everything. I should just add 10 minutes to everytime I want to meet… One time, he was late for lunch. We meet for lunch every Tuesday/Thursday and have for the last two months. When I saw him next he said “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were meeting today.” WTF?
“let’s definitely hang out together next time we’re at a party”
then, when they dont and you call them on it, they say “oh, i didnt mean that were we REALLY going to hang out, i meant, it would be cool if we did, but to tell you the truth, i dont really remember saying that”
Okay, fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, you’re a fucking liar.
Then before the next party:
her: “let’s totally go see a concert after the party”
me: “do you really mean that? I mean, last time you were just throwing that out”
her: “I totally mean it”
(yeah, right, I say…sure enough she was just talking)
well, PROMISING something (vs just making throwaway plans) and then not delivering is about the quickest way to lose MY trust. and I dont ever forget any personal slight. I don’t act on my frustrations, but i have a definitely larger “scoresheet” than most men…you’ll have to win me my trust back before i’ll trust you.
finally:
HER: “I think you have some trust issues”
WTF!!! holy smoking batshit! out and out lying to me more than once, and you find it STRANGE that I dont trust you? what world are you living in?
Duuuude, we should like totally go see a cool movie together tomorrow night. It would be major radical man. I promise I’ll call you in the morning.
Just kidding with ya Ludovic. It sounds like you’ve been hurt by a couple of women who were afraid to be honest with you and took the easy way out, instead of telling you that they weren’t interested.
Don’t get cynical, you’ll find someone worthy of your trust.
Don’t smash them! Eat them! At least you can get something good out of this situation. Or donate them to a food drive, so someone else can enjoy them.
This guy is obviously a loser. Unless a relative died, there’s simply no excuse for this inconsiderate, rude behavior.
It happened to me once. “It’ll never happen again!” the guy promised. To which I replied, “You’re damn right. 'Cause you’re never going to have the opprotunity.”
So… there’s NO chance that he was in a car accident, or something else happened that was unforseen and caused him to be unable to call you and give you warning of his impending failure to show?
Back in 96, a roommate of mine had a horrible crush on a cute bartender at the dump we used to drink at…and after some shy parleys and a lot of red-faced gibbering, actually managed to set a date up with her. They planned to meet at the bar, so she could pick up her paycheck, and then go somewhere else.
My roommate arrives at the designated time. The girl is no-show.
Calling her only gets her voicemail. He waits an hour, then a hour and a half, then two hours.
Then, she finally arrives…dressed stunningly…and on the arm of some other guy.
My poor roommate was utterly hurt and furious. Not only was he stood up, he was stood up for another guy, another date, but at the SAME place. He confronted her and asked her what the deal was.
Her reply was: “Oh! Sorry…must have gotten my calender mixed up.” And she got her paycheck and left.
After a long drought, I was lucky enough to have two women interested in me. Seeing the competition and thinking she had an easy advantage, one of them put the moves on me big time (in front of friends) and promised the moon and the sun. Then, fifteen minutes before I am to leave work to meet her for our first date, I get a fucking E-mail! saying that she’s cancelling to go flying with her brother (telling me that it would be more fun).
Un fucking believable.
She didn’t understand why I was upset. She understood less how she had completely lost my trust and interest. She was definitely not happy when I proposed to the other woman a few months later.
“But don’t you want to have a relationship with me?”
Argh. This pisses me off, too. I’m about to go to the mall with a friend, and I’m picking him up and driving, ‘cause otherwise he’d be 45-frickin’-minutes late getting here. I’m habitually on-time-or-earlier, and, in fact, cannot recall a single instance where I was late to class without a pass, or more than 5 minutes late to meet someone without calling.
I once got stood up, via the box office phone, outside of a theater! I was standing there waiting in front of the theater where this girl and I were supposed to meet. Suddenly I hear the box office cashier’s voice calling out…“Hey…Are you Javaman?” Then he hands me the handset through the little opening at the bottom of the window, and it’s her on the line. She had some cock-n-bull story about how she changed her mind or something.
I was late to pick someone up on Saturday by 15 minutes. Unfortunately my habit of driving slightly faster than the speed limit led to getting pulled over. I didn’t get the ticket, and once I apologized and explained my lateness, I was forgiven.
Thankfully. Because the guy is very cool and I would hate to blow a potentially good friendship over that.
I guess I was stood up once, as the date never happened. I met her at the bar, and we decided to go to a movie the next day. She gave me her number, as I was to call in the morning to set the rest up. When I did call, it was the number for the local Y.M.C.A.
Just be aware that this is considered rude, inconsiderate and obnoxious behavior by many (myself included) and everything you posted above, to me, sounds like nothing more than lame-ass excuses to be irresponsible. Last person who gave me all those excuses, I replied with, “Well, then you must not have much respect for yourself. Because you obviously do not have enough respect for me to be considerate of the plans I’ve made for you.” The guy was completely floored that I considered his chronic 30-45 minute lateness rude. He just thought it was his quirky little thing, part of his charm or something.
IMHO, these situations are entirely under your control. Under the few circumstances (death, coma) I can think of where they are not, you could at least have the common courtesy to call ahead and let people know when you’re going to be late.
Standing someone up, IMHO, is inexcusable and the fastest way to lose my attention.
I’m always on time if not early for everything, and I don’t flake on anyone. I’ve got a cell phone and I use it if I’m going to be more than 5 or 10 minutes late (which is hardly every)
I ended a friendship over someones flakiness. My friend Kim was just a total flake. It was her personality, which I told myself again and again when she would flake, as to not totally blow a gasket.
We made plans for Halloween last year about a month in advance. We talked regularly and every time we talked I reconfirmed our plans because I didn’t want to have to scramble for an alternative at the last minute. A couple of days before I told her that if there was any chance she might flake to let me know so I can have a plan B waiting. “No no!” she said “We’re totally gonna go out!” Mmm hmm.
That day I called her to set up a time and she said “oh, you know, I’m gonna be working late tonight and I’m kinda tired, I’m not gonna make it, but go ahead and do something with someone else.” I told her “well I asked you a couple of days ago if there was any chance you were gonna flake so I could make alternate plans, now it’s too late” Then she had the brass balls to get snippy with me.
Bitch. As you can see, I’m still a little bitter. :mad:
Oh yeah, I never spoke to her again, she was one of my best friends too.
Another friend of mine saw her recently and she just ran up to her, gave her a big hug (the friend hasn’t spoken with her either for the same reasons) and asked “so how’s lezlers? We should all hang out soon!”
