Thanks for standing me up, "friend".

You know what, if you didn’t want to hang out with me, you don’t have to lie about it. It’s not like I asked you out and you had to say “maybe” to protect my feelings–I would just as happily have gone straight to bed and crashed, to recharge for my midnight movie date. You brought it up! You asked me to call you when I got off of work. I was excited cause I don’t get to see you outside of work much anymore. Well, fuck you. It’s been two hours and you haven’t answered my call yet. I don’t have time to sit around waiting for “friends” to decide whether or not they’re worth their word. I’ve decided for myself.

Boy are you going to be sorry, tomorrow, when you discover they were in a massive car wreck while hurrying to the bedside of their parent who was stricken by a heart attack when the parent tried to rescue their favorite kitten who had gotten stuff and was about to asphyxiate in the rainstorm in the downspout at the top of the house.

I hear you. Fuck em.
A ‘friend’ was supposed to put a new tire on my car this morning. We met up only yesterday and he offered. He said he’d be free this morning and he’d be happy to do it.
I get a text at 9.30 that the tire is there and waiting. I call ‘friend’ and leave a message. 2 hours later, I send a text. Over three hours pass, I call mutual friend and ask if he’s seen or heard from ‘friend’. No, but he’ll try to get ahold of him. No call back. I call mutual friend a couple of hours ago, leave a message wondering what the status was, the hell was going on with everyone. Nothing.

Both of you - you screwed up my fucking day! My one entire day off this week! You shitheads! I have to work all day tomorrow - I was looking forward to the beach today. I was looking forward to a party tonight. Beause of your screwed up version of a favour, I wasted an entire day. Assholes.

Really, until you hear otherwise, don’t assume the worst of your friends. It is quite possible that something untoward has happened.

Yeah, you should wait until after you hear from them. Then you can really get some vitriol going.

I don’t know. I’ve been stood up a lot over the last few months, and I did a lot of apologizing and not-assuming and understanding, but after a lot of “Sorry, I really couldn’t come over because I was tired/I accidentally fell asleep/I suddenly realized I had homework I’d forgotten about” I’m starting to get pretty pissed off and it’s hard to believe it’s something benevolent.

Is it just me? If there is something about me that’s so repulsive that people can’t stand to come through on their plans with me, why can’t they just make up an excuse beforehand instead of torturing me like this?

All from the same person? Then that person’s a flake and not very considerate.

But in those other cases, did you not call and at least find them home? Where I think it’s time to worry is if they’re not with you and they’re not home, especially when late evening rolls around.

No, not all from the same person, although there have been repeat offenders. This person in particular hasn’t quite stood me up, per se, but she’s done the “maybe” thing a few times before and I can never get a hold of her.

As for calling and finding them home, most of my friends only have cellphones, and of those who do I usually only have their cellphone number (because that’s the most convenient way for us to get a hold of each other).

Indeed. :stuck_out_tongue: And how’s that working for ya? [/Dr. Phil]

For my own sanity, I’d start assuming that the “maybe” flakes are “no’s.” I don’t have a whole lot on the go right now, but I certainly have better things to do than wait on people who stand me up or can’t make a firm commitment.

:smiley: This, at least, made me smile.

Turns out that she got home and crashed (in the benevolent, “that glass of wine set in fast” sense, not the “road accident” sense). I believe her–she’s been running on fumes lately–but I stayed up waiting when I could’ve caught up on some sleep, and it was a little offputting to hear that she didn’t.

So you went from Pit-worthy to “a little offputting” after you found out she just went to sleep without calling you? Huh. I would have gone the other way. Glad you’re feeling better about it though.

Well, she got off of work a full hour before I did, and when she left she was tired. So in context, especially if you know her, the idea that she zonked out somewhere in that hour isn’t much of an affront.

What really sucked though, was getting stood up again at the movies, by another girl. The movie was good, but I feel like curling up into a ball and refusing to interact with anyone for about a week. The fucking highlight was texting back and forth with the girl for the first 40 minutes of the movie trying to figure out where she was sitting and where I was sitting, and then getting a call from her saying that her sister had picked her up and they were heading home.

All of this came after the realization that another “friend” stole from me at a party the night before, and only a few days after the realization that I’ll have to abandon my individual freedoms and move in with my parents to become financially solvent again.

I didn’t think I could have a worse year than 2005 until 2006 came along. And I was sure that I couldn’t have a worse year than 2006, but a little over a third of the way in, 2007 is looking to be the record-setter.

So, the movie was what, ambiance? Set dressing? Just a cool place to hang out and call your friends?

  1. I walked out of the theatre when I used my phone.

  2. Despite being in an actual movie theatre, “Midnight Madness” is an informal viewing where talking, MST3K-style parody, etc. are tolerated (and in the case of some movies, officially encouraged).

Though approaching my advanced years, I have several friends in their early twenties, and this sort of thing happens a lot while hanging out with them. I do think it’s an age thing: with a few exceptions, most of them haven’t yet learned how much their capriciousness impacts others’ arrangements. I’ve given up getting pissed about it - I just assume they’re going to be unreliable and interact accordingly.

Jesus man, you’re a fetus… That’s a whole lot of awkward on so many levels…

What I’ve heard is that Kids These Days[sup]TM[/sup], who’ve grown up in the cell phone era, no longer make plans in advance.

I find it works better if you tell them in advance that you’ll keep your embryonic fluid to yourself.

Another Dr. Phil’ism (I think) - we teach people how to treat us. If you don’t demand better from people, you’re obviously not getting it. If this is how 20-somethings interact, buck the trend. In my (ancient) opinion, courtesy never goes out of style, and if you start expecting it, I think you’ll weed out the people who don’t value it (and I don’t think you’ll miss them). Make plans like an old person - “I’ll meet you at the south entrance to the theatre at 7:00 pm, then we’ll buy the tickets.”