I like to consider myself an easy-going person. A lot has been said about me and to me (both IRL and here on the boards) that I let slide. However, there are some things that are important enough to me that, should you cross me on them, I will come down on you - hard. Among those things are my honor, my reputation, my word, my friends, and my family. So go ahead and slight me on my religion, my sexual orientation, my political views, whatever - if the forum is right, I might even debate you on them, but, even when things get heated, I won’t, in the end, hold it against you. We all enjoy a nice argument from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it has to last forever. (God, I’ve called Shayna a bitch in the Pit and we have much fun at Dopefests. Similarly, I think Jodi is a pain in my ass on some topics, but if I ever met her in real life, I certainly wouldn’t hate her*.)
But insult my friends or family (even my Evil Sister whom I despise), and I will flay you alive. Slander my reputation, and I will eat you for breakfast. Call me dishonorable, and I will eviscerate you. As some of you have seen, I’m more than capable of doing it to people who just annoy me - imagine if I really meant it? When I really, really get mad, it’s for something important, and it runs awfully deep.
Standing me up is one of those things.
It is an insufferable annoyance to me, one that disrespects and insults me. Yeah, maybe it’s not as big a deal as my mother and her army boots, but it’s still a big deal to me. So, this is for Elmer:
You stood me up - twice. How I let you get away with it once is beyond me, as most people don’t get that second chance with me. I lost my best friend of over six years because he stood me up and then had the audacity to give me attitude about it, so don’t think I won’t knock your pipsqueak ass into the ground. We met. You said you were “really into” me. So when I heard that, I said, “Great, when can we get together?” Now, the part I don’t understand is, why did you think this meant I was playing some sort of game with you? I expressed interest when you said you were interested - why did this suddenly make you not want to see me again? Go project your low self-esteem issues elsewhere - I’m up front and honest and don’t play those stupid games (unlike the many people who have played them with me in the gay community in the past). So we make plans, you say you’ll call… and then never do. When I e-mail you and ask you why the next day, you reveal that you thought I wasn’t serious about meeting. Um, which part of “let’s get together Saturday” comes off to you as being not serious? So you stood me up once, but, hey, that’s ok - let’s reschedule for next week. Sure. Oh, wait - I let you know the next day (still a week away) that I had plans I forgot about, so we need to reschedule again. Your response? “Gee, are you sure there aren’t any other commitments you ‘forgot about?’” WTF? I gave you a week’s notice, instead of standing you up like you did me. And I keep saying, “No, Elmer, I really do want to see you again,” as nicely as possible, even with the warning klaxons clanging in my ears like a bad Star Trek episode. So we reschedule, but with the little bit of info that because I asked to change days (a week in advance, remember), you considered making plans with me and then not showing up, “because no one’s ever rescheduled on me like that before.” I made it clear that that would have been the worst possible thing to do if he ever wanted to see me again. But, despite all this, our rescheduled date was last night - nothing definite, and you had to study, but you’d call me when I got home from work and let me know what you wanted to do.
Guess who didn’t call? And guess who got stuck at home all night with nothing to do?
:mad:
So I send you an e-mail saying you stood me up, where were you, I know you have my number because I sent it to you again in e-mail and you read it that morning, blah blah blah. I said it looked like you weren’t serious after all about getting together again. Your response?
WTF? Again with the “I didn’t think you were serious,” added to the “two can play that game.”
Needless to say, my response to him was less than affable, and he responded to that by saying, “I guess we shouldn’t bother, then - sorry if I wasted your time.” Yeah, a little too late for that, you ignorant fuck.
Yeah, I know you’re young and “new to the whole gay thing.” Yeah, I know you haven’t dated anyone seriously yet or been out with a lot of guys yet. Yeah, I know I probably intimidate you with my outgoing personality. But how many fucking times do I have to make it clear that I would like to see you again without your pre-conceived notions and whiny self-pitying self-esteem issues getting in the way? GROW THE FUCK UP! Jesus, I mean, how hard is it to live up to a simple date? I kept two full days open for you so we could get together, and you can’t even honor me with a fucking phone call? And then, when I call you on it, you give me attitude, as if it were my fault? I guess your mama never taught you how to apologize to someone, or that standing someone up is impolite, or that sticking to your word means something.
You want to be a California flake? Go right ahead - you’ll fit in well with this Southern California crowd. (Better yet, move to L.A. where the real flakes hang out.) But not on my nickel, pal, not on my time - I have better things to do, better people to hang out with, and a life to lead. We people from “back east” (read: every state in the fucking union east of California) consider “flaking out” an unacceptable excuse for standing someone up.
Esprix
(*And before anyone jumps down my throat with any obvious links to swoop down, show some kind of hypocrisy on my part and claim moral superiority, a hearty pre-emptive “fuck you,” first of all, and second of all, there are always exceptions to everyone’s rules. Additionally, there are certain people on this board who have made it on my list in ways that happened off the board, so don’t think you’re seeing the whole picture. And remember, people pissing me off does not mean I hate them, nor does it mean my arguments/discussions/flames with them are anything other than what they are.)
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