Not to worry you but we didn’t all survive. It’s just that only those of us who survived are around to post about it.
As I said, I don’t want to put you into a panic but I never like it when people dismiss some genuine childhood danger by saying “I did that when I was a kid and it didn’t kill me.”
You do have to make sure your child is prepared to deal with unforeseen circumstances. If the train doesn’t show will he be able to call someone? Does he understand how to avoid common dangers, you know, the usual stranger danger stuff? It doesn’t sound unreasonable for a ten year old to be able to do this, and you already know if he’s ready, and it sounds like you think he is.
I think he’d be fine. I grew up in Toronto, and was riding the subways by myself when I was 11. They have added a number of new safety features to the TTC since then (alarm strips in the trains, brightly-lit and video-monitored DWAs, emergency call buttons), so it’s a lot safer than when I was young. Make sure that he knows about all this safety equipment, and when he might need to use it (and that he also knows about 911 from the pay phones still on the subway platforms), and wish him well.
From the bus stop around the neighborhood, I was comfortable with 8 or 9, until my daughter decided to go someplace she wasn’t supposed to go. After a several hours long search, involving police being called and the whole nine yards, no kidlet…She didn’t show up until fairly late evening.
Scared the ever lovin’ hell out of every parent in the neighborhood and made it suck for the kids until they want to Jr. HS a few years later. My daughter only went to the sister of a friend’s house (she was allowed at the sister’s, my coworker, but we didn’t even know her sister lived there. And it hadn’t occurred to my coworker that my daughter would go there. Every parent was looking and all were scared half to death. It turned out well, but boy were things a lot more tight-leashed after that.
When I was 10½, my folks took me on a trip to Montreal (business convention for Dad). For several days, I was on my own between breakfast and supper. I spent much of that time just walking around the city, probably within 6 blocks of the hotel we were at.
At home, I often took the bus into Washington, D.C., and spent the day at the Smithsonian Museum and environs. I don’t remember when I started doing that by myself, but I think it was at about the same age. I do remember I was 10 when my mom got a job and I was given a house key, spending a few hours each day after school at home alone.
One of our great family stories is about the time my older brother, at 5 years old, went to the National Zoo with his older sisters. Somehow they got separated, so he walked a few miles to home and announced that his sisters got lost. 
So from my experience, I think a ten-year-old could certainly be capable of what you’re asking
10 years old is quite reasonable for this. Unless the child is mentally or emotionally delayed, there is no reason a 10 year old can’t handle a simple task like this. Children are so much more capable than they are thought to be.
For my kids it’s 5 in our cul-de-sac, 7 for the immediate neighborhood, and by 10 just let me know where you’re going and take your cell phone so I can call you. However, not taking your cell phone at that point or not answering when I call gets you grounded. It helps that we live in a neighborhood that’s pretty much filthy with kids playing in all the streets as soon as school lets out every day.
By the time I was 7, in a much more dangerous era, all my friends except one could bike anywhere we liked so long as we were home at dark (and then we’d go out again after dinner and run around the woods in the dark with candles, punks, and flashlights). The one kid whose parents didn’t let me go beyond his street was mercilessly teased about it.
When I was 9 we moved and one of my new friends was allowed to travel at will around the neighborhood but wasn’t allowed to cross a busy 4 lane road to go to the next neighborhood over. I remember being shocked when I found that out. It was beyond my comprehension that someone his age would be restricted like that.
I’ve seen kids that age taking the Toronto subway to school. They seemed fine to me.
It really sounds like you think he is ready to handle it (ignore the niggling feeling, trust me, it goes away).
I would ask him if he is interested in doing it. If he is, there is a good chance that he is ready.
I would have two practice missions (one with you to make sure he can ask questions, one with you waiting at the sitter’s house).
(This is what we did when my six year old wanted to walk to school by himself. The school is not enamoured with the idea but he thinks it’s awesome.)
Might it make you more comfortable if he were to carry a SPOT and a cell phone?
As the father of a 14 year old daughter (who, coincidentally, is going into Boston today with some friends), I am convinced that the correct answer is “when they’re at least 30”
I know that’s not realistic, but I won’t feel comfortable until they’re back later today.
And I say this, knowing that my own parents let me go off on my own in Montreal when I was 11. (Neither my parents nor I spoke any French)
Speaking as the child of a mother who wouldn’t let me wait at the bus stop alone at 17, your son will probably be proud of the fact that you trust him like this. Let him do it and get some experience navigating the world on his own.
What’s a SPOT?
But yes - you might feel more comfortable if he had a cheap prepaid cell phone with him.
We got our kids cell phones (cheap prepaid - I know my kids!) when they were 12 (daughter) and not-quite-15 (son). Daughter was attending a Girl Scout weekend in Wildwood NJ and the girls were allowed to pair up and wander the boardwalk as long as they had a way of being reached.
At that point, we started letting son go into Washington DC on his own, since we had an emergency contact mechanism.
My daughter is now older than son was that summer, but we haven’t been eager to extend her the same privilege - different kid, different maturity level, and she doesn’t have the same eagerness to wander.
A SPOT is a tracking device that can also send out an emergency signal. The parent could follow the son’s progress on-line (although it would not work underground). The SPOT Connectworks in conjunction with a cell phone.
Why I was suggesting SPOT and a cell phone rather than just a cell phone is that if a little guy is lost or in the extremely remote probability that he is snatched, the SPOT would have provided and would continue to provide a track of his location, and if he has time to press a single button, issue an emergency signal.
Hell, my wife has to watch our 10yo walk two houses down whenever she goes visit a friend of hers (I believe we’re talking about 15 steps.) :rolleyes:
So, I guess, about 36 years years of age?
(I refuse to do this duty, btw.)
I was 11 when I started using public transportation. I think the age when it’s advisable to let a kid do this depends more on the kid than anything else. Has your child used the school bus system on his own? Does he play outside in the neighborhood unsupervised? Does he walk home from school, and how far? Does he know how to use a cell phone, or who he should ask for help if he gets lost or in trouble? Some kids are very independent, and some others grow into it more slowly. I doubt I’ll let my own kid use public transportation at 10 years old, but it probably won’t be later than a year or two after that when I will.
Occasionally, I look at my 7 year old and think, “Child, 100 years ago, you’d be walking 2 miles to the well to bring back water before dawn so that you could wash up, make breakfast for your brothers and be at work in the sweatshop sewing shoes by 7am…”
Agreed. Coping with an ordinary journey is somewhat different to coping with delays, cancellations, or if he gets mugged en route. Kids do seem to get mugged (by other kids) more frequently than adults do; it’s not necessarily a hugely traumatic experience but it would mean that his stuff was gone, making it difficult to get home.
If he can be trusted to remember to keep his ticket topped up (if you have that system) and not lose his ticket, and maybe keep some extra cash stuffed in his sock - and not spend it - just in case he loses his stuff or it’s stolen - then he’s ready.
But also check the rules the relevant transit authority/train company has. For example, one of my local train networks doesn’t allow children under 12 to travel alone, but TFL (for tubes, buses, trams and many trains in London) doesn’t have a lower age limit, so you can’t necessarily assume one network’s rules apply to others.
Not only no, but hell no.
Yes, many of us who where children in the 60’s and 70’s wandered the town unsupervised and lived to tell about it. Many, but not all. Stats may show that crime is down overall since then, but as a cop in the 80’s and 90’s, you couldn’t tell it by me and my experience.
Children are abducted in the U.S. daily. They get lost, they have accidents. If everything went smoothly, I’m sure your son could make the journey by himself. Many times. It just takes one thing to interfere or go wrong, and throw him off course. Is he mature enough to handle trouble?
You’ve taught him what to do, but will he remember under pressure?
I grew up in Evansville, IN and Nashville, TN. The epitome of small town America and safety.
My friends and I had the same rules as most of the country since 1900 - be home for dinner.
I wish my kids had the freedom to roam like we did, but our environment here in Atlanta, GA just wouldn’t allow it, nor would I.
Being in Canada, you may not have seen the abduction of Carlie Brucia in broad daylight
In my own neighborhood in Nashville, 10 year old Marcia Trimble was kidnapped and killed just delivering Girl Scout cookies a couple of doors from her house. I was 15 at the time, and lived a couple of miles away. There hasn’t been a week gone by in the last 30+ years that I haven’t thought of Marcia’s case and used it to reinforce my postion on kids safety.
Here in Georgia just this month another young girl was grabbed right in a Wal-Mart. She fought and screamed and the man dropped her and ran.
I know it’s a difficult balance to strike between letting kids be kids, letting them grow, giving them responsiblilty, and letting them out in the world.
Every situation has a different answer it seems, but my default is one overwhelming caution and safety. I know Toronto isn’t the back streets of Calcutta, but danger is everywhere.
YMMV:)