I saw a big fluffy dog out for a walk and he was playing in the snow. So as I was gonna cross the street, he came over and I said “May I pet the dog,” and she said “OK.” And I petted him and said “Hello, Mr Dog.” The owner looks at me very seriously and says “It’s a girl.” I smiled and said “My apologies Miss Dog.” And she looks at me very seriously again and said “It’s Mrs.”
Now maybe she was just a jerk, or maybe she was sick of people petting her dog, or maybe she didn’t didn’t want to walk the dog, but I tell you this is a new one for me.
“It’s MRS?” I tell you they keep coming up with them.
I guess it could’ve been worse, she could said, “It’s the widow dog.”
I personally insist everyone refers to my dog by his full name, The Frumious Bandersnatch (short name Bandit), a fairly gender neutral title, I think, but, so far, very few people have obliged me. Also, being a French dog, I prefer Monsieur over Mister, if a title must be appended (eta: Monsieur should be said with the worst French accent one can possibly muster). The title of “Mister Dog” would have him confused with this upstanding citizen.
Damn, I amaze myself whenever I realize how much I flagrantly abuse the poor comma
Well, if the dog wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, it’s hardly your faux pas.
Or is that faux paw?
Both of my dogs are unmarried. (Really – their AKC certificates include the “Miss”!) If they ever do get married, I suppose they’ll need new certificates. Though their marriage prospects seem slim; they’re homebodies and hate going anywhere, and we don’t get many dog visitors. Plus if a prospective fiancé wants kids, he’s SOL unless they adopt or use a surrogate. :dubious:
What drives me wild is when they don’t move up the juniors. Mr and Mrs Dawg have puppies and call one Dawg Jr. Things are fine until Jr procreates as well–and then we get Dawg III. I get suspicious when we have Dawg 4 and Dawg 5 bumbling around. Don’t they know it goes like work up in baseball?*
*analogy unsure due to me not actually knowing what a game of work up in baseball IS. I mean that once Dawg is dead, Dawg Jr should become Dawg and III should become Jr etc.
All I know is my cat is a single mom. My dog, on the other hand, is an old maid who, sadly, never married on account of she’s rather plain and spent the first 10 years of her life indoors (fortunately she’s spayed).
My pooch is a playa. He’s never had any, but he’s certainly not ruling any out at this point and sees no reason to limit his choices to only his step-sister.
