When did I get so old and judgement?

Riding on the airport shuttle ,New Year’s Day, a group of twenty something women we talking about how drunk they were last night and how “awesome” it was to hook up with random guys all night. Couple didn’t remember how they got to their rooms…etc…they were Americans partying in Reykjavik. :rolleyes: Yes I was once that young, and I did my fairshare of drinking and partying. But this just didn’t feel responsible to me.

Probably the same time I did.

Turn it around: you might be old and judgmental, but you don’t have to worry about your date of the night turning crazy or giving you an STD. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

It’s at least partly jealousy, BTW, because I’ll never be that young, cute, and carefree again.

Young people are on average foolish in ways that stand out to old people. Old people are foolish in ways they don’t notice. But which are obvious to young people.

Foolishness is conserved. As is judgmentalism.

But what was your actual emotion? I think, particularly for women, it’s risky business but I would have been doing it at the same age if people had done such things. So even though I think it’s risky I wouldn’t feel angry, or annoyed or disgusted. What did you feel?

ETA Just saying that absent any emotional content it’s just an opinion not being judgmental.

Older I get less judgmental I get. I was extremely judgmental in youth

When you are old and can no longer afford to be wild and free, being judgmental is a great coping device.

Guess I’ve always been judgmental because I never understood why anyone would want to get so drunk that the couldn’t remember anything the next day. Or is that just common sense on my part? I’ve certainly never envied anyone who thought getting wasted equaled a good time.

Perhaps my point of view came from uncles who argued loud and long after a few too many beers, or the guy who puked in my wastebasket after drinking too much, or the roomie who narrowly missed puking in my car after excessive alcohol ingestion…

I don’t claim to live a perfectly healthy lifestyle, but I don’t think I’ve missed out on waking up with a pounding headache and a blank series of hours.

It’s the journey not the destination

Likewise. I was raised as a conservative Christian Republican. But the older I’ve gotten, then less judgmental I’ve become. You know that saying, “When you point a finger at somebody else, you have three fingers pointing back at you”? Yeah. I was once, and still am an idiot. Not gonna judge somebody else for being the same.

Common sense, yes. And if you’ve never been a “drunk” I don’t blame you for your attitude. But I will question “why anyone would want to get so drunk that the couldn’t remember anything the next day”. Nobody “wants” that. Especially at my age. Geez, it’s embarrassing when that happens. Which is why I generally don’t drink in public any more.

What about being older makes you unable to afford being wild and free?

The only evident difference is that from more experience of the consequences of wild behavior comes a different sense of what’s wise or foolish.

I think the critical difference is what you have to lose and who is depending on you. I did a LOT of stuff when I was single, childless, without a serious job, and without any particular assets that I wouldn’t do now. It’s not because I’m any smarter now or was dumber back then. It’s just that I could afford a little more turbulence back then without any long-term consquences.

See, this is why I think the old adage: “If I only knew then what I know now.” is such bull shit.

80% of why we have such fond memories of our youth is because we were too stupid to know better.

But did you talk about it loudly enough in public for people to learn enough to judge you?

Can’t remember:D

Good answer.

It’s also worth noting that (at least from physical injuries) you tend to heal better & quicker when young.

I never did anything like that in my youth, and I don’t have any regrets. I know people can be wild and free and come out unscathed, but with my luck I would have been the Cautionary Tale Girl. The one who drinks too much, falls down a flight of stairs, and spends the rest of her life as a vegetable. Or the one who gets raped, infected with HIV, and impregnated all in one night.

But looking back, I did do some crazy things in my youth. And I don’t have any regrets because they gave me to have an interesting story to tell. They emboldened me to not be afraid of this life. I actually think I’m more likely to judge someone who has never done anything “wild and free” than someone who has had some adventures. But it depends on the adventure. Drinking and hooking up don’t impress me that much.

You grew up, simple as that.

Doesn’t Reykjavik have a reputation for that kind of thing? They were just fitting in.

Speak for yourself on that one.

Routinely getting too drunk to function at all seems to be an ‘in’ thing, for some reason. It leads to a lot of problems, not the least of which is rape, which is epidemic on college campuses. I drank a lot when I was younger, but never to the point of being unable to remember what transpired the night before. I try not to judge the drinking (it will catch up to them later on) since it’s a pointless exercise, and no amount of tut-tutting will change the behavior. Being judgmental is human nature, of course.

And why is judgmental spelled without an ‘e’ after the ‘g’? :wink: