When did reactions to death change?

I am just curious as to when death seemed to turn into something other than a sad occasion where you reach out to people. I have had 4 deaths in the family. I did not even get one card, let alone flowers from anyone for 3 of them. Two were siblings and I am not that old so no excuse that ‘these things are to be expected.’ When my mum died, there was a guy on his cell phone not 5 feet from her open coffin. I was speechless, which happens rarely to me! My husband lost his mum and dad just days apart and one of the comments that he got from some work colleagues was that he had taken a lot of time off. (He took 10 days off as both were out of town.) My husband never takes sick days so it’s not like he is a lazy employee. Where has the compassion gone. People ask me about my family and it comes up that I have had two siblings die of cancer and I get no reaction to that. I understand that some people don’t know what to say, but it seems to be everyone who has lost their tongue. Did I miss something? When did this change? Oh and don’t get me started on clapping at funerals!!

I’m sorry for your losses; that really sucks.

I doubt he meant any disrespect.

Did they know the reason he had taken the time off? If they did that’s insensitive, but it seems entirely possible to me that they had no idea why he’d been off.

What were they clapping for? I don’t really have much experience with funerals so I don’t really know when this would happen.

I’m not sure exactly when it changed, but I think the clapping happens at “celebrations of life” type things.