blondebear took my answer. When a male is willing and able, and does, take full responsibility for his actions, no matter what the consequences, then he is a man.
Here’s a preachment from hard-right baby-switching Christianist Michael Pearl:
To sum up:
Do everything you’re told, right when you’re told.
Do it till it hurts – and then some.
Eat every bit of shit life piles on your plate – and ask for seconds.
And don’t ever question it all, because it is God’s will.
Discuss?
Some sociologigists have theorized that the reason why gangs are so popular among disinfranchised young men is that they offer the sort of ritualized rites of passage that mainstream culture does not. The gangs provide a sense of structure and status.
Perhaps the ambiguity of the dividing line between “childhood” and “adulthood” is a contributing factor to some of our social problems. Some young people strive to “act like adults” in the form of drinking and sex. I’m not saying that these things would necessarily go away if there was some sort of rite of passage, but perhaps some of the pressure young people feel might be eased if they had a concrete designation of “adulthood” which they had achieved to point to as a source of pride.
Its when you realize that, if both your parents should die suddenly, you will be still be Ok (although sad of course).
When does a boy become a man? I can think of a few ideas, but none completely satisfy me:
[ul]
[li]When he graduates high school.[/li][li]The first time somebody calls him “Sir” or “Mr.”[/li][li]When he’s no longer living with his parents or with anyone else in a similar position (loco parentis) over him.[/li][li]When he has his first full-time job.[/li][li]When he undergoes some ordeal or experience that forces him to grow up—the kind of thing that “coming of age” stories are written about.[/li][li]When he goes through puberty. (This is when he’s physically a man, and in more “primitive” societies than ours, he’d be considered a man in other ways, too. In most modern societies, however, due to different expectations and to the greater education and experience required to function as an adult, he still has a ways to go.)[/li][li]When he becomes responsible for someone other than himself (which may be when he gets married or has a kid).[/li][/ul]
A boy becomes a man when he no longer frets over the question of when a boy becomes a man.
Don’t we wish it were that simple. :dubious:
A boy becomes a man when he wants to raise the standard of manhood to make his status seem more special.
If you’re Kal-el, it’s when you’re hooked up to a lie detector machine and your professor asks if you’re Superboy.
I don’t know for sure when a boy becomes a man. Perhaps after an encounter with Deborah LaFave? :rolleyes:
I do know, however, that a boy will never become a man if his Mommy doesn’t quit picking out his clothes and styling his hair before hitting puberty.
Hey now, I wasn’t totally kidding when I posted this:
Those of you who said being a man is about responsibility – how far off, ultimately, is this otherwise crazy fuck?
And those of you, also: is being a woman not about responsibility? Or not about the same kind of responsibility?
I’m asking, that’s all. Just asking.
BTW, I am not seriously considering becoming a woman.
That’s pretty much along the lines of my answer. He becomes a man when he is accepted as honest, dependable and trustworthy by others. In order for that to happen, he must be responsible.
Who’s fretting? I’m just curious what other people think. 
A boy becomes a man when he realizes that being a man means caring about others around you and taking care of them as best you can. In order to fully develop and be “all you can be” as the Army puts it, you have to help others be all they can be. Otherwise you’re just a greedy little boy, going through life grabbing all you can without making the world around you better. Men are respected because they use their strength and power to make human society a better place to be. And because they care about others, and try to make the world better, they tend to develop a certain amount of strength and power, much as a weight lifter gets physicaly strong because he’s the one who lifts the weights.
I didn’t say you were fretting. I just answered the question.
They don’t.
Beware of Doug,
Since you seem to be asking for a straight answer, in spite of your apparent disrespect for Michael Peral:
Other that the thesis that all work is pain, I think I mostly agree with your quotation. I think that a child fully becomes an adult when they can reconize and assume their duties and responsibilities, be true to their principles, and to have the courage to do so even when this is difficult, unpleaseant, unpopular, dangerous, or sometimes even fatal, to do it willingly, with minimum fuss, hesitation or self-pity.
This does not mean being a slave, a docile serf, or a no-wave-making nameless cog. In fact, often quite the opposite. But do not underestimate boredom as an ordeal. Some tasks can be mind-nunbingly boring, yet quite essential, such as being a stay-at home parent for a young special needs child, or demining fields in Asia.
In the past, men were expected to to go further than women in the danger / pain continuum, such as in war, and so a big deal was made of being a man (also because what women did was so devalued since the guys set the criteria). Unfortunately, there isn’t the same cultural significance for the transition to adulthhood for women, but in this day and age, I feel there ought to be.
I know that a great many people over 21yrs old don’t really meet that criteria, but I also this that many legally adult people haven’t finished growing-up.
I think that when a young person fist demonstrates this by their actions, is when they can be reconised as an adult, irrespective of age, and be conferred the relevant priviledges. At least that is the standard I intend to apply to my son.
A boy isn’t a man until his daddy tells him he is. At least that’s the way it is here in Texas. 
I think it’s around the time of puberty and pulling your own weight, whatever pulling your own weight means in your family, community or culture.
A 14-year-old living and working on his parents’ farm could be considered a man. Likewise, a 30-year-old still living and working on his parents’ farm with no kids or car of is own would still be a man.
I believe that sort of scenario isn’t uncommon among the Amish or Mennonites. You don’t have to be able to support yourself, you just need to take on enough responsibility to do your part in the family business.
My landlord is a man in his 50’s. He was in the Navy during Vietnam, maybe saw some stuff that somehow scarred him psychologically. At least that’s the story I get from his sister. He is in just about every way a perfectly normal man but his life choice is to stay at home with his mom and manage her properties. He does own his own truck but all the money comes from mom. I imagine eventually his mother will pass away and he’ll inherit the properties. So is he not a man until that happens? When he’s in his 60’s? 70’s?
When a boy faces his first real temptation/weakness and overcomes it.
Yes i am drunk.