My niece passed away about a week ago from Juvenile Huntington’s Disease, and her sister died a year today to the day. Their brother is in a hospital and not doing well. Both girls were adopted by the same family. The adoptive parents knew they had the condition when they adopted them, and I’ve always had a kind of macabre curiosity about when and how they explained it to the girls.
How would you tell your child that they won’t reach old age?
Obvious question:
How close will they come?
If they are to die before 8 or so (when death fist to be a thing), no - just let them play a lot.
If they have ever had a sickness, you may be able to extrapolate from there.
If they reach 12, yes, give them the name of the disease/syndrome and its prognoses.
And - where is your deity in all this?
Depends on the kid but at least at the point where they become aware that they are always coming out of the hospital a little worse than they were last time.
So many variables that it’s hard to answer. If they had some congenital disease & were diagnosed at/before/shortly after birth, and wouldn’t live past 4 or so, then I doubt I’d tell them at all. Just make life as fun/pleasant as possible.
But if they’re diagnosed at 6 with a terminal illness that would likely kill them before they reached adulthood, I’d probably first tell them they had an illness that we were going to beat, then if things still went south or if there had never been hope at all, I’d tell them it is ‘possible’ they could die, then I’d work my way up to full deal. I think I would have to do it gradually, maybe even more for me than him/her.
But these are just my half-baked ideas after a veeery long a day and a large glass of wine. I’m sure I’d give it a lot more thought if I were in the situation. The kid’s personality would also make a huge difference as to how I’d approach things.
I would tell them what disease they had, but I would never tell them they were going to die. There is always hope even if it is faint hope.
I wouldn’t tell them.
It’s not unusual for kids to figure it out themselves. Maybe not toddlers, but 8 or 9 year olds.
Having, thankfully, never been in that situation I really have no idea how to answer the question other than I doubt it’s a “one size fits all” answer, but:
What has this got to do with anything?
I suspect he means, “what is the role of your deity”. If you believe in a heaven where everyone is healed and gets to see each other again, it’s a lot easier to talk about.