When idiots collide

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I was out taking my walk last night when I encounter on of those annoyances that’s typical of my walks. Some inconsiderate person has parked their pretty nice new Cadillac across the sidewalk rather than pull completely into their driveway. This of course requires me to walk around the car into the street to continue on my course. A petty annoyance as like I mentioned before I see this particular thing a lot.

What was different this time is what happened next. As I was walking around said car, a pickup parked correctly on the street in front of the car started up. He started backing up just as I reached the sidewalk, coming close enough for me to wonder if he looked back. He then proceeded to prove he hadn’t in fact looked back by backing right into the Cadillac.

At this point a conscientious citizen would of course get out of the pickup go up to the house and trade insurance info. The driver of the pickup was not however very conscientious citizen. The driver asked the passenger if they’ve hit something (I guess the BLAM and glass tinkling sound wasn’t a big enough clue), the passenger confirms they’ve hit something and suggest a hasty retreat. The truck then speeds off and makes a left at the corner.

Now part of me doesn’t want to get involved, partly because the idiot who owned the Cadillac should have had the foresight to park it correctly, partly because I was on my walk, and it’s sort of my decompressing time. Meanwhile I’m having a debate in my head. *Hmm I think, the meathead owner of the Cadillac could have prevented the accident by parking correctly, still if the guy had looked back, he probably wouldn’t have hit it, plus hit and run is a crime right, dang, I’m probably going have to wait around for the police, what did Naomi say she was fixing for dinner? *

So about three houses away I reluctantly turn back, deciding to know on the door of the homeowner. The homeowner however did in fact hear the crash, because out of the house flies a tornado in a housedress. She’s shrieking and running back and forth, wailing and gnashing teeth. It’s a little confusing since I rarely see that kind of behavior without a news crew present. Anyway I approach and we, well I have the following conversation.

Hysterical Woman: Oh my God! Who did that? Did anyone see who did it…
Me: Ma’am I saw….
HW: Somebody call Michael, he’s going to be pissed…
Me: two guys in a pick….
HW: he’s going to kill me when he sees what happened
Me: up truck back into your
HW: Cynthia (addressing a house next door) did you see it
Me: car. It was brown, and the license…
HW: Did you see what happened (to some people across the street ), I can’t believe he didn’t stop
Me: XXX-XXXX, it turned left at the corner…

All in all I was feeling quite ignored (kind of like being home really). Fortunately a girl from the house apparently noticed me, so I told her what happened, I then suggested she give me a piece of paper and pen. I wrote down what I saw and game my name and number. I then proceeded on my way only to discover that the pick up had apparently stalled around the corner, so I walked back. I had better results that time in getting the lady to listen.

2

In fairness to the hysterical woman, sometimes people lose the ability to think straight in moments of true, dire crisis.

3

Sounds like a perfect twit.

4

To clarify, it’s simply terrible that her Cadillac got smashed. She has my sympathies. But … she parked carelessly and then responded hysterically to the resulting damage. So I guess I should modify my earlier statement.

Sounds like a perfect self-absorbed twit.

(btw, the two guys in the pickup are complete jerks as well)

Stuffy, sorry your evening walk was spoiled by this trio of idiots.

5

I could understand if it was her kid lying crushed on the ground (or even a dog/cat, I’d be freaking) but damage to a illegally parked car?

6

So, are you being sued by either party yet? :stuck_out_tongue:

7

See? You don’t even need TV if you go for an occasional walk.

8

Mmmm… Hit and run accident with an illegally parked car. Not sure who’s on the losing side of that one. Ultimately, I’d guess the h&r driver is going to have some rather unpleasant things happen to their insurance rates.

9

Look, have you ever had one of your tail lights taken out? It can be an extremely traumatic experience. Your first emotion is denial. Oh my god, did that really happen to me? Then anger - those sons of bitches! Next, fear. What if they return and smash the second tail light? What if I had been in the car when they backed into it at 5 mph?

It’s enough to put any pea-brained twit right out of their mind.

10

I thought she was overly dramatic, but the caddilac did appear to be new if not quite just off the lot. Still, I found myself curious about how blame would be placed too, after all to me both parties were responsible.

11

But being a self-absorbed twit is a small price to pay when you are perfect.

12

This reminds me of the (apocryphal) story of a person using the public phone.
A passer-by hurries up and tries to say something urgently.
The person phoning refuses to listen and methodically finishes their call, then says wearily “What was so urgent?”
“I wanted to call the emergency services - your house is on fire!” :smiley: