You have to wait until hunting season, of course. Depending on where you live, this might not be until the second week of November. Please hold off until then.
Kill him? No. Cut his cords? Maybe?
Make sure those cuts include his vocal chords, so you don’t have to listen to him screaming and whining about it.
The reason the urban legendsrefuse to die is the people keep claiming it happened to them personally.
Thank you. That post made my doberman choke on someone’s fingers.
I was going to propose inserting the fake-snowed cactus in a warm, humid place.
Then I realized the poor cactus hasn’t done anything to deserve such a fate.
You are overreacting dreadfully. The polite and decent thing to do for a first, second then third premature nativity event is…left kneecap, right kneecap, double tap.