I’ve looked around and not seen any hard answers so I was hoping to get some opinions/feedback:
Still being new to this whole parenting thing, I am REALLY lucky to have a son that is already potty trained, that is, he knows when he has to go, tells me, can do his own pants, etc., with the only thing he is still unable to do is wipe himself (I’m working with him on that, and since he’s only 2 1/2, it’s all good).
My question is from this stage, when is it reasonable to teach him that if he has to go at night, it’s okay for him to get out of his bed and go? He had an accident last night, but that is also okay (I gave him water right before bed because his room was warm) and he of course knows these things happen. What I would LIKE to do though is tell him if he has to go, to let himself get up, go, and then come back to bed.
Is this realistic at this age, or am I rushing things? The wife is worried that he will take this to mean that it is okay for him to get up, go downstairs, etc, while I am of the opinion that if he is still tired, he will just want to go back into his bed.
Goodness, I would never tell a child they could not go to the bathroom if they had to go! It would not really occur to me to tell my child they had to stay in bed even if they needed to use the bathroom. Telling him he can get up to go is fine, I think. If he starts wandering around or getting up at other times like early in the morning, then tell him he can get up to go to the bathroom but has to go back to bed until mom or dad gets him. I would think it is distressing to a child to have to go but not be able to.
If your wife is really concerned I guess you could tell him to come and get one of you if he has to get up in the night so you can make sure he goes back to bed. My guess would be after a few times of being awakened at 3am she will tell him it is ok to go on his own :).
Put a training potty in his from for night time use. That way he doesn’t have to do stairs when tired, which would be my concern. And the temptation to stay up and play is reduced if the bed is near.
Is he capable of doing it by himself? Then why not? He may well try playing at some point, but I wouldn’t bet on it happening often.
But he may not be able to wake up out of a sound sleep and figure out where to go and what to do–all those complicated things like walking down the hall, pulling down pants, etc. Our daughter nearly drove us crazy; she would wake up and cry, or maybe get to the toilet by herself, and then sit there and either be stupefied or just cry more. She just wasn’t able to wake up enough to deal with it by herself. Thankfully, we’re past that stage now, but it took a while.
My daughter will be six this fall and still will wake up in the middle of the night and cry occationally if she needs to use the bathroom. She is a deep sleeper and gets disoriented. (On the other hand, she walks downstairs without issue three or four times a night before managing to stay in bed and fall asleep - so it isn’t a "I won’t get out of bed thing).
According to my peditrician MOST kids aren’t really ready to be night dry that young, they either sleep too soundly to wake up, or are too disoriented and potty doesn’t come “habitually” enough yet to do it half awake. The ones that do usually have “super bladders” and don’t get up at all. Have realistic expectations. My daughter is working her way out of pull ups at night right now (she wears them if she had a lot to drink, or if she has wet the bed earlier in the evening). But then I was a late bed-wetter, so I have pretty low expectations.
my son can almost always go by himself. He has trouble with jeans that have buttons, so I need to help him with those. He also needs help in the wiping department. He tells me when he has to go and I follow him in, but he generally does it himself (save for me emptying and cleaning his potty of course).
his bathroom is upstairs, across the hall from his bedroom. As it stands, he can go there himself unless his door is closed, which we keep as the wife is worried he’ll get up and fall down the stairs.
His accidents have been very few, and of course I do not get upset with him, but I think what happened last night was that he woke up and said ‘pissat’ (Russian for pee I’m guessing) and the wife and I slept through it (or maybe I dreamed it). If this was the case, then I am sure he cried for awhile after having to pee in his pajamas, he’s very proud of his toilet habits.
I was looking for a way to allow him to go to the bathroom at night on his own if he felt the need, while trying to keep the wife happy about her concerns about the stairs AND while making sure I’m not ‘rushing him’ by allowing him the opportunity to do this, especially at this age (my internet research has come up on empty on ‘what ages each thing happens’).
I like the idea of a splash mat and putting his toilet in his bedroom (at least at night, and relocate in the morning), and will propose this to Jenny Tutone tonight.
My concern with moving his potty would be that in a half-asleep state he may not be able to find it. Heck, if someone moved my toilet I probably couldn’t find it at 2 am. Maybe put a childproof gate over the staircase so he can’t go downstairs or fall?
Is there something about the constuction of the staircase (or your son’s advanced climbing ablity) that’d prevent you from putting a babygate there at night? They make some that are fairly tall to keep toddlers and dogs from climbing over them, so if you can use one it’d help with the stairs issue.