OK folks, this is it. No more mr. Nice Guy from now on.
You’re looking at the baddest mod in the history of the SDMB. Hell, I dare each and every one of you - I’m the bad-assest poster of all!
Well, not really, maybe. But I did do something that I wanted to do for a long time. Something very, very cool. And potentially lethal, if I’m not very good at it.
Two weeks from this saturday, I shall be taking my first motorcycle lesson!! Woooooooo friggin’ hoo!! I’m so excited I could giggle like a schoolgirl. In fact, I am.
Ahhhhh… the open roads. 100 BHP at your disposal, and only 250 kilos to push. The wind in your, errr, helmet air intakes. Well, not really, just doing donuts and slaloms in second gear at a closed parking lot, but STILL! This is gonna ROCK!!
Color me jealous! I’d love to buy a bike, but Astrofiancee won’t let me! She’s afraid that I’ll kill myself… and I gotta admit that she has a point: I can injure myself with a Nerf ball! With a bike I’d probably be road-dust within a week or so…
[sup]I just quoted myself in the same post! Is that legal?[/sup]:eek:
Upon re-reading, I realised that the above didn’t come out quite right! Allow me to re-phrase: I want to buy a bike, but Astrofiancee is against the idea, so in an attempt to appease her foolish womanly fears, I have VOLUNTARILY decided not to buy a bike! But if I decided TO buy a bike, why, then, by golly, I’d just go ahead and buy it!! And Astrofiancee would accept the decision! She knows who’s in charge here!
Read no further unless you are Astrofiancee!
[sup]Honey? I can explain! Ya see, it’s a guy thing! I can’t let them know that I can’t control my own life! It’s a loss of face! Yeah, yeah, I know… but it’s a guy thing… remember the talk we had about testicle-itch? It’s kinda like that! What? Oh, OK… yes dear…[/sup]
Since you didn’t specify that you would actually be in control of the motorcycle, I’ll have to assume that you’ll be, more appropriately, riding bitch.
Make sure to wear leather chaps. The kind that expose your arse. That way, when your Old Man stops at a biker bar, the patrons will be more easily able to slap your buttocks and call you names.
Wear a full-face helmet. It won’t make you safer, but it will spare the rest of us your face.
When being gang-banged by the biker community, please make them wear condoms. Stop the spread of disease.
Biker Mama tits are required by charter to be dirty, or at least greasy. Check your contract, and buy a bag of potting soil to carry around just in case there’s an inspection.
Do Not let them hear you squeal like a pig.
This advise is given solely on hearsay, but I hope it works for you.
With your - ehm - enthusiastic attitude to speed, you’re about to discover just how much fun one can have when fully clothed. And we’ll have to get you a “Born to moderate” back patch, to say nothing of a suitable outfit for Poofy to ride pillion in.
I guess the only question left is: Are you going for the Hayabusa, the Blackbird XX or the Ninja ZX-12 ?
So, when are we gonna cruise ? I have nothing but good experiences from riding my bike to A’dam, so just say where and when, and we’ll go turn some dead dinosaurs into a sh*tload of fun.
Come to think of it, “Yuppie scum biker” sounds like an OK tattoo…
(Digression re tattos: The most enthusiastic Ducati rider I ever met had a tattoo of - I’m not making this up - desmodromic valves (a Duc specialty) on his left shoulder. Well, he did ride a 996 SPS (translation: Completely unpayable but utterly, utterly delicious race-prepped Duc 996) on a mechanic’s pay. He must’ve lived in a tent or something.)
I never said Ducs were too dangeorus, that’s an insidious lie. People might think I didn’t want you to be as cool as me! I did, admittedly, recommend something that could be dropped and repaired without taking out a new mortgage. And, perhaps, something with a little less than 100 BHP ?
First rule of buying any bike – check where the filling cap is and look closely at the lip between the saddle and the tank because, at some point, you and it will make very harsh contact. You will go over the bars and you will get hurt - just make sure you don’t lose the crown jewels in the process. I kid you not, dude…it’s very important ! – Just ask Spiny ‘lube’ Norman………
<Looking for adventure, whatever comes our way………>
My car only has about 75 BHP, and the speeding tickets I pick up with that “monster” are in the same region as, say, Angola’s GDP.
OK, bikeheads, clue me in. I don’t want an all-out sports bike like, say, Spiny’s Ducati 748. They’re wicked, but too dangerous for someone as stupid and speedhorny as me. Plus, I’d like to be able to do a 500 km. stretch and not need oxygen supplies when I get off.
So, it has to be the Ducati ST2 or ST4
Seriously: what’s a good sports-touring bike to buy second hand? I’m thinking in the 600-750 CC area. I don’t like retro looking bikes. I don’t want a chopper. I like the styling of the Ducati ST series, the Yamaha Diversion, the Suzuki GSX600, that sort of thing. Oh, and I LOVE the Triumph Sprint. Suggestions?
(Yes I know. Get the damn license first, Clog Boy! But a man can dream, right?)
Even through snow and freezing rain he says that. <sigh> Please see sig…
Clogboy, does this mean I’m gonna have to put up with URLs to pictures of bikes now instead of cars, over which I’m obligated to drool and tell you how hot you’d look on the back of them?
Seriously, good luck with the lessons. Let me know how they go, as I’ve promised my motorcycle man that I’d learn how to ride one myself some day. HEY! I’d look good as a biker chick, don’t ya think?
The luckiest woman in the world! Click here to find out why.
Jeg elsker dig, Thomas
I did, admittedly, recommend something that could be dropped and repaired without taking out a new mortgage. And, perhaps, something with a little less than 100 BHP ?