So I was in the collision shop, waiting an hour, eating a bag of popcorn. I drove out of the collision shop with an estimate and with a bizzare experience. I was sitting in the waiting area and an elderly man wearing a hat sat down across from me. I overheard him saying to one of the collision workers that he was getting his headlights done. I asked him if he was getting his headlights replaced or repaired. He said he was having them replaced. I asked him about the estimate. He abruptly said, “I don’t want to talk to you.” I thought about what he said for a moment and how he had a vaugely English accent. I said, “For someone who speaks so politely, you are very rude.” and, in the same breath, I said, “You don’t want to talk to me. I want to talk to you.”
Just like in The Princess Bride, we were at an impass. He wanted to say, “I don’t want you to talk to me.”, but can’t. If he said that I’d say, “You have no right to tell me what to do.” It got ridiculous. I was talking ostensibly to him about how I sure hope that I get a good estimate. He then says, “You are brazen.” “Brazen?” I say. (I looked it up. Contemptuously bold, according to Merriam Webster.) Then, sarcasically brazen, I said, “Didn’t you say you don’t want to talk to me?”
At this point, it went from ridiculous to ludicrous.
Enter guy wearing sunglasses indoors. Guy wearing sunglasses indoor is standing around, getting a bag of popcorn. Guy wear sunglasses gets involved, confronting me. He says “what are you doing here?” “do you have a car in the shop?”. I don’t really know how to answer him. He says “You need to leave. I’m calling the police.” I ask him: “Do you work here?” He says no. I say, “you’re just a customer like me, you have no right to threaten me.” He says, “Don’t talk to anyone!” I respond by putting on a pair of sunglasses I happen to have in my pocket.
Now there are two guys wearing sunglasses.
I’m eating my popcorn, enjoying the show. I throw the popcorn bag in the trash, stand up, face the other guy wearing sunglasses, and mirror his posture. Even though I subtly mock him, even though by putting on the sunglasses I acknowledge his order to not “talk to anyone”, he keeps talking. Doesn’t he know that by putting on sunglasses I agree to not talk and that he, also wearing sunglasses, shouldn’t talk either? He says I was rude to that man. I wanted to say he was rude to me. He goes on to say that he don’t know whether I have a mental disorder. I wanted to say how do I know you don’t have a mental disorder.
Maybe the elderly man wearing a hat is related to that old man with the cane.
