I’m quite bored.
And while I was amusing myself… well, I won’t say with what… I realized that there’s a topic that hasn’t been discussed here on Dope. (Or if it has, I’ve not found it)
So since we are fighting the war against ignorance here, I thought it might be useful to have a repository for the different kind of… farts.
What are you talking about, you say? Surely there is only the typical blaaaat!. Ahh, yes, to the untrained ear. But a true *fart-connoisseur * is able to distinguish between a multitude of different sounds and smells.
So, here we go. Please feel free to add on to this storehouse of useful knowledge.
The Trumpet: A loud, attention-grabbing fart. Skilled farters are able to turn this into the trombone, by extending the sound, and changing the pitch. 
The Machine-gun: Rapid fire, usually mini-farts, that shoot out at a tremendous rate.
The Silent Killer: Relaxed muscles allow the noxious gases to seep out and wipe out half a city block.
The Wet One: For those times when you judge wrongly. :eek:
The Whistle: High pitched fart usually reserved for the anally retentive. If you are skilled at this, you should try playing out the Blue Danube. I’ve been trying and its quite a challenge.
C’mon, join in. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. 