He tells jokes, he’s a ham,
His last name’s Amsterdam.
That’s-a Morey!
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s glaucoma…
She got screwed in the rain,
And by Tom Cruise on a train …
That’s DeMornay.
When your knee you do bash
Pay the doc lots of cash
That’s an X-ray.
If he kisses your skin
and you immediately sin
That’s some foreplay!
If they turn off spotlight
During opening night
That’s a poor play!
…uh, I need to think of better gags.
You’d better to blink to get it out.
(Ooh. Moon rays = shattered corneas.)
You’d better throw a punch to the left, create another crater while you’re at it.
You’d better lay off the acid, mmmkay?
(Drugs’re bad, mmmkay?)
Canadian grass is too long
Time to cut it long gone:
“Need a mower, eh?”
Le Sang
[sub][sup]Ouch… sorry y’all[/sub][/sup]
When you win and you win
and you dress in striped pins
That’s Joe Torre
When your goalie avers
That is name is Arturs,
That’s an Irbe…
When your soldiers you send
Around the next bend,
That’s a foray…
When the race is real close,
but you lose by a nose,
That’s Al Gore - A
when you trip with the food
it will slip off the plate
to the floor, eh.
When that demon you call
Steals the souls from us all,
That’s unholy…
In Toronto you find,
A good looker who’s kind,
That’s a whore, eh?
When the rabbits you keep,
Have just nowhere to sleep,
Get some more hay…
When you’re having a good time,
and the wine tastes real fine,
that’s a Moet
When you’re trying to fuck,
But she’s dry and you’re stuck,
Do more forplay…
If the jizz hits her eye,
And she’s starting to cry,
That’s a [sub]bad[/sub] BJ…
When your dicks stroking fast,
And you’re ready to blast,
That’s a splorg-ey…
If you’re done with this one,
Rollover and stick the next someone,
That’s an orgy…
If the girl that you’re with,
Can deepthroat all of your stiff,
That’s Amore!
Try this:
When Buzz needed a friend
Woody lent him a hand
That’s Toy Story.
Povich is his last name,
Connie Chung is his dame,
That’s-a Maury!
from Usenet:
Near a glacier you stand,
You see rocks mixed with sand,
That’s a moraine!
When the Fonz sticks out his thumb,
And it’s not for a ride to bum,
That’s-a more Aaaaaaaaaaaa!
When the poison you taste
Leaves you frozen in place,
That’s curare…