Ah, we love our euphemisms. What are some for the onset of menses?
There are the delicate ones – it’s that time of the month.
There are the slightly more piquant – on the rag.
There are the almost too descriptive – surfing the crimson wave.
Then we have the misplaced poetry entries – the tomato boat has docked in Tuna Town.
Add your favorites to any category, or create your own category.
Play has been rained off.
It’s shark week! (Blood in the water.)
There are the delicate ones – Going number two
There are the slightly more piquant – taking a dump
There are the almost too descriptive – giving birth
Then we have the misplaced poetry entries – Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
Growing up with a midwife for a mother, euphemisms had little place in our house. “Period” was the closest to a euphemism we ever got, and “menstruating” was actually pretty common.
But here are a couple I like that I’d never offend my poor mother with:
It’s Anal Sex/Blowjob Week!
I’m at the end of my sentence.
The Communists have arrived.
One that my girlfriend tells me off for using; up on bricks
Riding the cotton pony.
She’s fallen to the Communists.
It’s red tide season.
Time to pay the bills.
Going number 3.
Gfactor took my favorite! Um…the cardinal has landed.
My husband actually has an Aunt Flo, and didn’t know why I thought that was funny.
Trolling for vampires
Taking Carrie to the prom
There are the innocent ones – Oh my god, I’ve been shot!
I say ‘I’m on the blah’ to my boyfriend so I don’t gross him out, haha. He can’t handle any TMI talk, which is cool, don’t feel the need to spoil the romance only a year in 
Puttin’ salsa on my taco.
My favorite: Dropping the kids off at the pool. 
Dont forget 1) Dropping the kids off at the pool, and 2) pinching a loaf (my favorite).
Dropping the kids off at the pool.
There are the delicate ones – Pleasuring herself
There are the slightly more piquant – Jilling off
There are the almost too descriptive – Stirring the soup
Then we have the misplaced poetry entries – Auditioning the finger puppets
'Bama made the Cotton Bowl
(Crimson Tide)
And: Dialing 0 on the pink telephone.
I’d just like to point out that I, too, have an actual Aunt Flo. But my mother had only boys, so it didn’t really mean anything when we said that Aunt Flo was coming for a visit.
Such a waste.
I wonder what it was like in my cousin Cathy’s house.
I have a gross (and slightly offensive to some) euphemism for menstruating: “Overtime at the Japanese Flag Factory”
At a time when my menstruation started on the dot around noon on Tuesday, I’d mention that I’d be menstruating soon by saying “Tuesday’s coming; did you bring your coat?” This will not make any sense to those who haven’t seen the cartoon linked.