Hypothetical Scenario: You have just received notice that you were accidentally infected with an experimental toxin when you got your flu shot this morning, and you’ve got approximately 48 hours to live(give or take 20 minutes).
What do you do in your last 2 days?
Shoot my doctor.
Nah, that’s why I don’t own a gun… poor impulse control would eat up my stupidly trivial estate in legal fees.
I’d give my doc a good, swift kick in the nuts.
Toss some snacks and a bottle of some good booze into my pack, drive out to Yosemite, hike to someplace off the beaten trail with a great view and enjoy my last hours.
Run in place and scream like a chicken.
I would tell My Beloved to pack a suitcase for a weekend at the coast, grab the best scotch and a bottle of black Sambuca, and we would head for the timeshare at Depoe Bay to watch whales and grill salmon on the beach.
I see a lot of chocolate in my (short) future.
My Beloved would insist on stopping for some Godiva for the trip.
I would write some notes and say a few things I probably should have said. I may just go down to the rocks at the beach and fish. Bring a long a bottle of scotch and chest of ice. I would then proceed to eat any fish I caught raw as I would not have to worry about the parasites they say I should worry about.
So much beer, and so little time.
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Call Alinea and see how much of my 401k I need to spend for a table tonight with my wife.
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Take my boys fishing all morning and into the afternoon.
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Steal a page from blondebear, grab my pack, a bottle of bourbon, and head for the woods.
I’ll have to clean the bathroom. I can’t leave it behind in this kind of state. And, yeah, I think it really is a two day job.
Well, there you go. There really is something that will make me get off my ass and clean the bathroom. There’s always a bright side!
Insult someone outside the Pit. Then go in the Pit, and tell people “fuck you” or the equivalent.
Yes, yes!
Cuss at the Mods!
What? No 5 million dollars from Publisher’s Clearinghouse?
I’d cry and then clean the apartment real good, say good bye to all my friends and family, put on something real classy and arrange myself into the most artful tragic pose I can before expiring.
Refuse to accept it.
Damn! You read my mind! Exactly this. (Well, maybe not the booze. But, then again, maybe. If there is ever a time for an alcoholic to relapse, the point of death would be it!)
So, yeah. Exactly this! And, oh, Lordy, Yosemite is beautiful!
(I’d take a whack at the Yosemite Falls trail; I’ve never made it to the top of the upper falls. Knowing I’m about to die would provide that extra incentive!)
Second choice would be a cruise to Catalina, where I’ve never yet been.
Sounds about right to me.
2 girls at once.
Yup.
Actually, I retract my previous statement. I’d do this ^^ 