When Toddlers Swear! This week on FOX!

Grandma DeDay made the boys a couple of sets of jammies each. (She likes to sew.) Katcha has a set with little trucks and bulldozers and stuff on it. Really cool. One of the trucks is a dump truck. (The pattern repeats so they are all over his jammies.) That’s the one he got excited about, the dump truck. Only he can’t say “dump truck”. He drops the “p” and the “tr” becomes and “f” for some reason.

Yeah, he was saying “dum’ fck" (editted to protect delicate sensiblities) all evening. Really loud. And the windows were open. Over and over. "DUM’ FCK! DUM’ FCK! DUM’ FCK!”

The Little Woman got him to call them “work trucks” after that. It was still funny.

Rue, that’s a hoot! I don’t suppose you captured the moment on video?? :smiley:

Naturally, my Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup] never used such language, but my sister’s kid was another story. Sis was driving and her kid, T, was in the carseat in the back. T was trying to wear her sunglasses slid up on top of her head, but they kept slipping down. She finally got frustrated, took them off, threw them to the floor, and said “F*ck it!” My sister almost ruptured something trying not to laugh.

When I was a kid, the worst we did was call someone else “poopy” - this younger generation… <shaking head sadly>

My son picked up my potty mouth…I had a friend and her daughter over for tea one day. The little girl is in my kid’s room and my kid is kind of hanging out with me. She’s calling him, “Justin! Justin! Justin! Juuuussssstttttiiiiinnnn!” and he’s just ignoring her (he’s about 2 at the time). Finally, I said, “Justin, why don’t you go see what Penny wants?” He says, “Fuck Penny.” Just like that. My friend and I almost died. It’s horrible when they pick up the worst in ya!

Back when Turbo Puppy was learning to talk, he had trouble with the word “clock”. Kept dropping the “el” sound in it. Went to visit my mom, and she asked what he was saying when he kept pointing and calling out “cck". I had to look her straight in the eye, without laughing and explain it.
About a year later someone let him see the movie “The Rock” and he picked a favorite line from that movie. For some reason, the checkout line at the grocery store always reminded him of that particular line.
Turbo Puppy, “mumble mumble”.
TeqMo, “what, honey? Speak up so I can hear you.”
TurboPuppy shouting, "I want my f
cking money!”
Oh crap. TeqMo, now bright red from embarrassment, “Uh here’s a quarter, shhhh.”

My gf’s nephew (not quite 3yrs old) is very good at this:

two examples:

  1. he was trying to build blocks into a tower on the table, as kids do. he dropped one, and when he came back from under the table the tower fell apart. He looked at his nan, and said ‘what the f*** did you do?’. She (stoically) said ‘nothing’, at which point he banged the table and, at the bricks, said ‘bastards!’.

  2. trying to get into his little toy car, his foot got stuck. He looked up to his mum and said, ‘i can’t get my bloody foot in’.

worse since his dad’s been off work and looking after him!!

I had the exact some pronounciation as a kid. Big Trucks always got me excited.

One day, when my daughter was three and my son was one, he got in her way when she was trying to do something. Her response: “F*ck off, baby!” My jaw hit the ground and I immediately turned to see if Mrs. ShibbOleth had noticed. She had. I swear that I never used that exact phraseology in front of the kids, although I probably let the f-word slip a few times. I’ve never cursed in front of them since.

Separately, just a day ago, my son (now 4) asked my wife: “Why is daddy such a yutz?”

He must have gotten that from our next door neighbor whose grandparents speak Yiddish.

Thus far China Bambina has yet to swear although she is quite an enthusiastic babbler. A bit odd really since I have quite the gutter mouth. And the Shanghaiese swear like sailors in a hurry. Somehow, I don’t think this is a bullet we will dodge for much longer.

My best friend’s 7 year old niece, Madison, is a pretty athletic kid, and she was playing soccer for her school last year. One day at practice, Madison was feeling a little flighty (as 7 year olds tend to do sometimes) and rather than pay attention to the drills her coach was running, she was doing cartwheels, looking at the clouds, picking flowers, etc. As a reprimand, her coach took her out of the advanced drill group and put her in with the slower, less athletically inclined kids. This apparently chapped Madison’s ass, because when she got home from practice that night, she was stomping around and throwing things.

Her father says “Madison, what’s wrong with you?”

Madison replies “Mr. Coach made me play with the FUCKING DOOFUS kids at practice today!!”

Her father, completely flummoxed, says “Madison, what did you say??”

So Madison repeats herself for her apparently hard of hearing father: “THE FUCKING DOOFUS KIDS!! You know, like Fat Patrick and the girl who runs like she has a stick up her butt??”

Madison spent a bit of time in her room that evening. :smiley:

My husband is 10-15 years younger than his older sisters, and so he was being occasionally taken care of by them when he was very little and they were teenagers. He picked up his first swear word when he was in his car seat and one of his older sisters was driving them somewhere. Someone cut her off, she said, “f*ck!” and suddenly she hears her little brother saying the word pretty distinctly.

Ditto with my friends kid. Now anytime he honks his horn at another driver, his 2.5 yr old raises his fist and yells “F*ckers!”

I think its kinda funny.

Note to self: Now would be a good time to start watching your mouth around two-year-old daughter. Having her say “fucknugget” in front of grammy probably wouldn’t be too cool.

** Jadis** for some reason your post about made me spew on my monitor.

My oldest child when he was about 3 1/2 was trying to get past our German Shepherd and she was prancing around and kept knocking him out of the way. His response was " Get outta my way ya brain dead asshole." Which was a term of affection (really it was!)I used on the dog. I’d like to say that cured me from cussing in front of the kids but I 'd be lying.

Our third child had a problem with his F’s and S’s so one night when we were having Fish Sticks for dinner her referred to them as Shit Dicks. To which my mother, my own mother about fell on the floor laughing. So of course the older two kids asked him for the next year to say fish sticks when ever we had them for dinner.

Oh and almost forgot the youngest (kid #4), age 4 has been watching Rush Hour with his older brother, (of the brain dead a-hole fame.)

So he walks into our bedroom one morning and says to my wife “Wazzzuupppp my nigga” Needless to say Mrs Kamikazee was not amused.

Cow-orker’s story:

Her 4 yr old daughter was trying to tie her shoes & when (strict Pentecostal) Grandma asked what the problem was, daughter said - “I can’t tie my f*cking shoes!” (At least the usage was correct!)

My stories:
Our family was camping with my uncle’s famuly - at one point I heard their 3 yr old son coming back from the restroom, singing to himself: “Shthead, Shthead…”

A different cousin also had difficulty with the “th” sound - but it came out more like “Fwucks…”

I’m lovin this goddam fuckin’ ass shit dick thread! :smiley:

I can’t wait until my niece and nephew (who’ll be a year old on May 21st) start talking! Of course, then I’m likely to get blamed for what might come out… :rolleyes:

I don’t have kids of my own, but apparently I, as a kid, was famous for marching, rhythmic cusses. My sister tells me that once, as a toddler, I marched around the house spitting, “Shit! Shit! Shit!” with a rhythmic accuracy unrivaled by any family member.

Another time (which I remember), when I was in kindergarten, I marched around the house singing, “Fro-steee, the SunnuvaBITCH!”

I remember it because I heard it on the playground at school (the little boy on whom I had a little kiddie crush had an older brother in the 6th grade… he was the one to teach me the song), and didn’t realize, until the incident at home, that Sunnuvabitch" was not a nice thing to say.

At that point, I also realized that my older brother (aged 17 at the time) was a Sunnuvabitch. He’s the one who heard me and told on me. :rolleyes: :smiley:

My son, aged 3, informs me that he loves the Sopranos because they say “what the f*ck”.

When El Hubbo and I saw my 2 y.o. niece in Texas this January she kept saying, “Cockies!”

Turns out she loooooves “Duckies!”

I’d ask her, “What does the duck say?”

Her reply: “Cock!”

When I was in grade school, we had a family next door who had an adorable, curly-haired boy of about three. He wandered in once, looked around, and beamed approvingly, “This is a NICE house! Our house is a real SHIT-house!”

This thread makes me real glad I never got into the “casual profanity” habit… :slight_smile: