Does anyone else do this??? It drives me crazy …
My brain will say “No, don’t say THAT, it’s (pick one) rude, counter-productive, passive/aggressive, hurtful, selfish … etc. etc.”
But as soon as I let my guard down (get hurt, lose my temper, become defensive), out it pops!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR …
Care to share an example?
Example … hmmm … you’d think a million would pop into my head, 'cos this happens to me all the time!
So my brother is having problems with money … I KNOW I shouldn’t make any suggestions or offer advice, because he’ll be offended and won’t listen. But do I just sit there, silently, and listen compassionately, with the odd “mmmhmmm” or “uhhuh” thrown in? NO … after telling myself repeatedly that I WILL NOT offer advice, what do I do?
“Gee, bro, maybe you should …”
“Well, if I were you, I’d …”
“Have you ever thought about …?”
Which makes him defensive and feel like he’s not really being heard … 'cos he’s calling me for a sympathetic sisterly ear, not a lecture.
It’s just very frustrating because I KNOW I should just listen and not open my mouth, but I do it anyway …
Probably not the best example but it’s all I can think of right now.