Male, 45, lost it at 14.
Yep.
Yeah, but doesn’t mean guys talk any less. 
I used to think they did, but I had the following conversation with the last guy I slept with that went like this:
Guy: So I told Mark [mutual acquaintance] that we hooked up . . .
Me: :dubious: You what? You don’t even know him that well. Why?
Guy: I dunno. We were drunk. He’s always mentioned that he’s had the hots for you.
Me: Er, okay. So basically, you were drunk and you felt like bragging.
Guy: :: sheepish :: Yeah.
Me: :: curious:: So what’d he say?
Guy: He went like this - :eek: . And then he bought me a drink.
Me: :rolleyes: Charming.
Interesting. Do guys see it as a betrayal of confidence if girls talk about it?
Male, 41; I was 20, she was 19 (and fairly experienced). In the front seat of my Buick, at the local makeout spot, a place nicknamed “Pecker Point”, though I think development in the immediate area surrounding the place has greatly reduced its popularity. There weren’t any houses directly overlooking Pecker Point 21 years ago.
I remember it distinctly, because I thought the circumstances were distinctive: it was St. Patrick’s Day 1987, and she was a redheaded lass of Irish descent 
I didn’t tell anybody until some time later, and nobody who actually knew her, since I’m not the “kiss & tell” type. I’m also of the belief that a woman willing to have sex with me once may be willing to do so again in the future, and I don’t wish to reduce the chances by blabbing 
Due to a series of unfortunate events, though, that relationship didn’t last long.
That first encounter wasn’t especially satisfying, though it was certainly exciting (for me anyway). Our second encounter also took place in my car (we both still lived with parents, as we were attending a local college), but in a much more secluded location. I’d driven us up a little-used back road and parked in a little turnout. That encounter only got as far as her going down on me. Our activities came to an abrupt halt when the headlights came on, shining in the back window, and a friendly police officer came rapping on the driver-side window. Turned out he’d assumed my car was abandoned, since he didn’t see anyone inside. He quickly figured out what we were up to, and politely suggested we find a “more suitable location” for our activities.
Our next encounter took place at her house while her parents were out of town. It was her birthday. We should have changed our plans when we pulled up in my car and found … her ex-boyfriend sitting on the curb. Apparently she had invited him, a month before we started seeing each other, to come visit on her birthday (he lived out of town). He had declined the invitation at the time, but apparently changed his mind after hearing she had a new boyfriend and decided to show up unannounced. Okay, whatever. We had planned to split a bottle of whiskey and then get busy, and to be polite since he had come all that way, she invited him in. I was cool with it - she and I both figured he would get the hint and take off. Except he didn’t. He hung around, and hung around, and hung around … She and I finally decided, “Screw it, we’re full of whiskey and we’re horny” and we left him sitting in the living room and went up to her room. Penis ensued, and all was well.
Until her older brother walked in (after we were finished, but before we’d gotten our clothes back on). He looked at me, then looked at her and said, incredulously, “You have no class!” before closing the door and walking back downstairs. We got dressed in uncomfortable silence and sheepishly headed downstairs ourselves, where we had to walk back through the living room, past the depressed-looking ex-boyfriend who still hadn’t left, and her brother who glared at us all the way out the door.
We kind of came to an unspoken agreement that it just wasn’t working, though we remained friendly.
OTOH, the girl who lost her virginity to me a couple years later was a different story. We worked together, and had been dating a couple months before “the act”. I didn’t tell anybody, partly because of my previously-stated reason, but mostly because she was 17 and I was 23. 16 is legal in my state, but I figured there was no profit in being indiscreet. Despite my silence, every coworker and manager knew about it within a week. Still, we stayed together for a year and a half.
I was pretty surprised when I found out my ex was giving specifics of our sex life and even though it was all complimentary, I still wasn’t particularly pleased. I got over it pretty quickly, though.
Male, 32. The time I count as ‘losing my virginity’ was when I was 17. He was 16.
I say the time I count because I had various sexual encounters before that but this time was just different. We spent 3 days and 2 nights together at a church youth event. I didn’t tell anyone for a long time mostly because it was something I wanted to keep to myself. It was a private, special couple of days that I didn’t want to share with anyone.
Only if they laugh.
You lost your virginity on my birthday.
Male, 67. I was 14, she was 14 and it happened on Christmas Eve, 1954, in the back seat of a 1950 Plymouth.
I told my Guy School Mentor and that was it. He clapped me on the back and said, “Well done” or words to that effect.
Er, is there any reason besides the hectic-ness of the moment that you ran down the hall while he stayed in your bedroom?
23 year old male here. I was 20, she was 21. I didn’t tell anybody. The most I’ve ever told anybody about my sex live is once I was asked a direct question and once during a game of never have I ever. I’m a pretty quiet person as it is, so maybe it’s just that, but I don’t see the point in talking about it with my friends. I’ve found sex to be better when it’s personal rather than casual so I tend to keep it that way. She told at least her roommates a fair amount. It doesn’t bother me. She told me some details about her roommate’s ex that would have though.
42 y.o. male. I was 19, she was 21. Not only I lost lost my virginity, but also it was the first time I had any kind of sex, and even the first time I kissed a girl. It was a disaster, as you might expect, but that’s not the topic at hand.
I had previously avoided telling to my peers that I was still a virgin, and of course that I never had any relationship with anybody. However, I didn’t tell anybody after the fact. Having done the deed, my ego was sufficiently satisfied, and I didn’t feel the need to boast about it.
Anyway, it became pretty obvious to everybody in short order since I moved in with my new (and first) girlfriend two months later. We then lived together for 5 years.
When I was in my early 20s and wasn’t yet out to my social circle (looking back on it now, I realize I was fairly obvious, but that’s a story for another time), many if not most of my friends were female, and in the same coterie of hard-drinkin’ party girls. Rosie (not her real name) was sweet and smart and funny and a blast to hang out with, and famous in our community for her love of sex and her bold way of chasing the boys. She threw a party in her apartment one night – lots of pot, lots of whiskey and beer, lots of food, lots of loud music: y’know, a PARTY party – and it just happened that I was the last guest left.
DLuxN8R-13: Uh, Rosie, I’m *reeeaaal *loaded, is it okay if I crash on yer couch tonight?
ROSIE*(from behind the door to the loo, where she’s been for the last ten minutes)*: Hell, no.You’re sleeping with ***me ***tonight. Except you won’t be getting any sleep."
(ROSIE bops into the room wearing sexy nightie; DLuxN8R-13 almost faints, penis ensues.)
I was raised on the adage that “a gentleman never tells”. So, like a gentleman, I kept my yap shut about getting seduced by Rosie. But then it was a week later, another Friday night, and another party with my crew…
When I walked in, Annie Mae – another gal from the party-hearty clique who I loved dearly, a big boozer-hippie chick with a heart of gold and a great big loud mouth – spotted me right away and howled. Already happily shnockered, Annie Mae jumped up and ran across the room to hug me, bellowing out: “D-Lux, man, I hear ya **FINALLY GOT SOME!! **See, pussy ain’t all *that *bad, is it now?”
Not only had Rosie told the rest of the gals we hung out with about our evening of adventure … it turned out that before her shindig the week before, she’d made a ten dollar bet with one of them, who we all called Crazy Cathy that she could get into my trousers (gee, I guess I really was a little more obviously homosexual than I thought back then, after all… :p) . In retrospect, I’m glad to have helped my friend Rosie win than ten-spot.
ETA: 49 next birthday.
29 year old hetero female.
Lost it at nineteen. Home from college for the summer. I called my roommate from college and told her I’d finally “done it.” I didn’t give her a whole lot of details–certainly not the embarrassing ones. (For some reason I had an idea that I would be a lot better at it from the get-go than I was. Like wanting it and being good at it were the same thing.)
I didn’t tell anybody else in my social circle, but they all kinda figured it out b/c I had foolishly mentioned to a co-worker that I was a virgin…which spread like wildfire all over the restaurant where I worked b/c nobody had apparently ever heard of a 19 year old virgin…and so when I started getting serious with a co-worker everybody realized I wasn’t one anymore.
That was kinda uncomfortable. I didn’t really like being a virgin at 19–I’d just never met the right guy to give it to–and I certainly didn’t enjoy the winks and comments and what-not from co-workers about finally “giving it up.”
I was seventeen, he was eighteen. As soon as I got home I ran to the phone and called my best friend. “I slept with Jerry!” She was all, “You called just to tell me that?” :dubious:
See, she dated his cousin. We would all go out together, then go into different rooms for a while… All this time I’d just been making out, she’d been going all the way and thought I was too. Boy, did I feel dumb.
P.S. The very next day he left town to begin his military training. I never saw him again. It was special to me though.
Male, 52, and I didn’t tell anyone. In fact, I talk to virtually no one about sexual issues.
I must admit that, pre-virginity loss, I was amazed to learn from my then-girlfriend how much women talk about their sexual lives, and in what detail.
beebs, 27 & a dude (in boston)
I was 17, she was 16. I’m sure she talked about it with her already “experienced” best friend. My best friend just knew, because guys just know.
I wonder if this is a generational thing. I’ve never talked about my sex life in any detail with my friends who are my age (50’s and 60’s), and they don’t talk either.
The only exceptions have been a couple of adventurous younger friends who had a lot of experience.
Female, age 25, hetero.
We were both 23 when we officially lost it, depending on how broadly you define ‘‘virginity.’’ I told one person, and it was in the context of asking advice from a close family member who was never awkward and always knowledgeable about these things. There was no element of bragging, it was more like, ‘‘Uh, so how in the hell do you…?’’
In general, I have found that my propensity for TMI in conversations with friends diminished significantly between the ages of 16 and 23. The more screwing around I did (not a whole lot even by young adult standards, mind you), the less need I felt to discuss it. Which is not to say I think of discussing sex much differently than I think of discussing politics or religion – though I understand that some people do and are uncomfortable with such conversation, that is simply not how those in my social circle operated.
Despite the way I was socialized, I never thought to mention it to anyone else at the time… the mystery was at that point long gone and besides, they wouldn’t have believed we dated and even shared the same bedroom/bed for four years without having intercourse. But we actually did, we waited until our wedding night–not for religious reasons, but for other reasons. I’m really glad that we did, too. It was a very intimate and hilarious and celebratory experience that will always be fondly remembered as a part of one of the best days of our lives.
I’m 52 myself – that wouldn’t seem to indicate a generational thing, since the ladies I;'m talking about would now be about the same age.
I’m male, 30 now, was 17.
I don’t recall telling anybody outright. There are three friends who were candidates for being told. One found out a few months later when I needed emergency contraception. Another found out somehow, I don’t remember how and definitely don’t remember telling him. The third - I still don’t know how he did it, but on the Monday after it happened we were in school and he said something about me changing, I asked what he meant and he answered “Well, you have lost your virginity”, leaving me with a dropped jaw. No clue how he figured it out and he never told me.
My father found out a few months after the fact when it came up in some conversation or other, and I assume he told my mother.