I’m not looking for narratives of the event itself, but rather the sort of things you told other people, assuming you told anyone at all. That is, if you immediately told all your friends that Sally was a slut and they should all give her a call, you can just write that you told all your friends, named your partner, and spoke ill of her. Contrariwise, if you kept the whole event to yourself, please share that.
In answering, please give your gender, approximate current age, and age at which you lost your virginity; if you don’t mind, also include why you made the choice you (in terms of sharing information with other people at the time). Details like your sexual orientation and gender/age of the partner details are left to the discretion of the poster, but if we could avoid sounding like Penthouse Letters, that would be marvelous.*
Define virginity as suits your fancy, not as the dictionary does.; for example, I was molested when I was young, but I don’t count that experience. But some might, and that’s okay.
Thanks in advance.
*Apropos of nothing, do I come off as an asshole when I use the word marvelous, or does my general assholery keep the incremental assholery of that word from being noticable?
I didn’t tell a soul. I’m sure everyone assumed I’d done it long before, since I’d been dating my college boyfriend for a year before we “did it.” I think my bf would have been embarrassed for people to know how long we waited too.
Female, 25. I lost my virginity fairly late (by American standards), in my early 20s.
The circumstances were a bit odd - I did tell a handful of close friends about what happened, but not that it was my first time. A lot of my friends assumed that I’d lost my virginity a lot earlier (and I was only a virgin in the strictest sense, I suppose). Eventually our social circle all knew that we’d hooked up, but only two of them (not including the guy!) knew it’d been my first.
I eventually told two other people about it as well, but they were close friends from my childhood and lived on the other side of the country at the time, so they only knew about it in an abstract sense.
We were with a sort of a large group from school that regularly spent Friday’s at the drive in. Anywhere from 10-15 people and 5-6 cars, to groups twice that size, depending. We knew each other, worked at the same place, and that night just found ourselves alone in the back of a station wagon.
Pretty much everyone there that night knew what happened (it happened a lot there), but only a couple friends knew it was my first time. She only knew it was my first time when I mentioned it months later. She was touched, and even got a little teary eyed. Then we did it again.
I didn’t tell anyone, mainly because there weren’t too many people to tell. Well OK, a couple of months after it happened I told my dad, but only because he asked, and I didn’t go into any of the details. To his credit, he took the news rather well (He was very religious and very conservative.), and he seemed to be going through one of his more lucid periods where he understood the problems our family was having, and he realized that my choice lay between my girlfriend’s place or losing my mind. Once he felt reassured that we were practicing safe sex and treating each other with kindness and respect, he stopped the questions. In fact, as it turns out, he had run into her quite frequently, because he was a regular at the restaurant she worked at. She told me later that he was always nice to her and always left her a great tip whenever she waited on him.
You know, off topic, but I just looked at what I typed, and I realized that maybe I’ve judged my old man kind of harshly. Regardless of his problems–and they are many–I have to say that he treated all of my girlfriends with total, unqualified respect, even the ones he didn’t like. He’s treated my wife just as well, even though he and I haven’t been on speaking terms for years. Maybe it’s time to pick up the phone. :o
Yeah, me too. I was basically thinking “whew, glad to get that over with, now to get on with pretending I’ve been doing this for ages already.” I was 17, she was 16, if I remember correctly. I was a boy, she was a girl.
I do remember it pretty well - although, for some odd reason, I can’t for the life of me remember what time of year it happened.
I still have a place in my heart for that girl, for what it’s worth. Apparently, she has a PhD now. Husband and some kids, too, I assume. How time flies. But for me, she shall remain forever 16.
Lost it at 18. I told one of my friends. I also posted a thread on this board. Fortunately, it ended up being during the Winter of our Missed Content, so…
I lost it at 14. He was 16. For whatever reason, we decided we should do it while my mom left to run an errand. A very… quick… errand. :eek:
She came home and I bolted down the hall, sans clothing. He fumbled with the lamp until she walked into my room and flipped the switch on the wall.
The look on his face and the blood on my sheets was a sure tell. I took the longest walk in my LIFE down the hall (in my moms borrowed nightshirt) and we discussed it for what felt like the remainder of the night.
Soooo… my mom was the first person I told, though not by choice. The next day, I told my closest female friend and my closest female cousin. From there, word just… got around.
And I do remember what time of year it was. In fact, it was March 26th, 1993. Oy, gettin’ old.
Male, 52. I was 17, she was 15. I didn’t say anything to anybody, but I’m sure she mentioned it to a friend later on that evening, as said friend gave me a rather telling look afterwards. I didn’t particularly gab about it because her older sister was dating my best friend, and I didn’t know quite how she would take me “despoiling” her sister. As it turned out (and I discovered much later), she really didn’t care, and her sister told her the next day anyway.
Female, 28. I was 19 (I think? eep!) when “it happened.”
I think I told the 2 girls I was visiting with on my vacation at the time, but I didn’t tell them I was a virgin.
I did tell my best friend the minute I got home (he was a virgin at the time), but it was sort of happenstance that he and I were hanging out the night I got home at all, due to some crazy romantic problem he was having at the time and he’d been waiting for me to return. If he hadn’t been there the night I got home I don’t know when I would have told him or how I would have told him - but he would have been first anyway.
Lost it at 23 to a 26(?) year old woman. The only person I told was the next woman I slept with a week later (when it rains, it pours) because I didn’t want her to be under the mistaken impression that she was my first.
I had no reason to not share. I just didn’t really feel like broadcasting it, though I’ll talk about it freely if the topic comes up since none of my partners and I run in the same circles and I can discuss them freely without feeling like I’m gossiping.
Skald has started a lot of interesting threads, but if this one results in a reconciliation, this thread might be the best yet.
Me, female, 63. Gave it up on July 19, 1964, age 19, in my boyfriend’s (later husband) brother and sister-in-law’s place (they weren’t home). Looking back, I think I just wanted to get it over with, the virginity thing.
I didn’t tell anyone, but I saw my best friend a few days after it happened, and she looked at me and said “You did it, didn’t you?” I must have been walking funny.
I was 19 when it happened. And yeah, I went into pretty graphic detail to people at the time. Hell, I still do. Graphic to the point that it took two goes before it “took” (VERY tight), and also that I lost my ass virginity the second go because I thought that doggie style meant…yeah.
I was never sure how normal it was to talk about one’s exploits to other people, but I was talking to a friend of mine that I’ve slept with in the past and I sort of guiltily admitted to letting slip some sensistive information, and he was completely fine with it–and then told me that yeah, guys talk, too. Which gave me pause. I had never realized that people were out there talking about me. But I figure, that’s what people do–they talk to their friends.
And in my experience, it’s the females that are the most detailed. Guys will tend to just comment that “I nailed her.” Gals, OTOH, will go into detail and critique. :eek:
I’d say. I was talking to a female friend a while ago, and somehow the conversation got onto… well, anyway, and she smiles at me and says “well, I understand that you’re into… and I hear you’re pretty decent at…” I looked at her - hang on, my dear, have I even actually ever been to bed with anyone you know personally?
(And no, it didn’t lead to anything. She didn’t care to find out for herself, for some reason.)
