Where are my keys?

I know I locked the car last night bringing in all those groceries. They’re not in their basket, they’re not near their basket, they’re not outside between the door and the car, they’re not in the fridge. My life has gotten suddenly much less convenient, so I need you guys to tell me where they are.

In the cupboard next to the cereal.

Your pants.

The first shelf you see on the way in the door.

Wherever your preschooler left them.

In the bathroom (did you REALLY need to pee when you got home?).

Could you have locked them in your car?
Go through the list of groceries you bought and see if they were put away with something you bought. Check inside your grocery bags if you keep them.

Oh yeah, and check your garbage. I’ve thrown my keys away before. :smack:

Also, check behind things, perhaps they fell somewhere. Look in places you wouldn’t possibly think they could be.

Good luck! It really sucks losing keys.

They’ll be in the last place you look.
Sorry, I’ve got nothing.

Check the ignition on your car – I’ve left mine dangling there more than I care to admit.

They’re in the FREEZER!!!

I’ve done this before.

I left my cell phone in my Dr’s office last week. I was all the way out to the parking lot and in the driver’s seat when I realized my mistake. I went back for the phone, returned to the lot and reached into my pocket, for my keys, to unlock the car. No keys, check other pockets, no keys, must have left them on the counter when I retreived cell phone, start back into building, get about half way when I remember that I was in the car before I remembered cell phone, maybe keys are on the seat, or in the ignition? I’m going to look like a real idiot if I go back into Dr’s office and the keys are really in the car. OK, head for car, sure enough they’re in the ignition. Oh well, I did get some exercise. Now I’m tired. Long nap when I get home.

Due to a series of events involving a chiguagua dog and extra spicy mustard they where quantum tunneled to a planet on the Orion nebula where they became the center of a cargo cult of the local, crustacean like, dominant life form.

Sorry about that.

[voice modulator]
Your keys are safe. For now. But if you want to see them alive again, go to the bathroom. In the medicine cabinet is a note with further instructions. Follow them exactly. Do not pick up the phone, do not look out your window, just take the note and do as it says. You have one hour.
[/voice modulator]

If you’ve run out of other things to try, try standing at the door you last came in, imagining them in your hand, and calling for them at least three times. Then stand and listen. Sometimes your unconscious mind will be so embarrassed by your behavior that it will cough up an image or feeling of where you set them down.

My mom said “Did you pray to St. Anthony?”

We’re not even Catholic.

Look under your towels.

In the refridgerator next to the milk.

They’re on your kitchen floor. Probably close to the baseboards. They got knocked off the counter when you were putting away groceries and you inadvertently kicked them under the toe kick by the cabinets.

That’s what I did anyway. Maybe you did too.

In the freezer, because you put frozen away first, unless you had urgent need of the bathroom.

This is like that twilighty show about that zone!

Look in your door lock.

I’ll help you look for them, but if I find them I get to whoop you with them.

So, you had the keys outside the car, because you used them to lock the car, right?

What about the door to the house? Did you use the same set of keys to unlock that door?

Then maybe they are in the door to your house.

(I do this more often than I care to admit.)