Where can I hide?

Just did the stupidest thing and whatever the consequences, it serves me right for talking behind someone’s back.

Is there a graceful way for me to get out from under this?

I’m on an e-mail list – discussing books – there’s a new member, 15 years old, who has been just a tad annoying – she just doesn’t pay attention, asks really stupid questions but doesn’t listen to the answers.

She posted a particularly silly message today and I intended to forward it to a friend so she could chuckle too – and in the message I, um, referred to the teenager as an idiot.

Of course, instead of “forwarding” the message, I “replied”. Now the whole list is gonna hear me call our newest member an idiot.

I’m the idiot.

Wondering if I should just unsubscribe or wait til they kick me out.

Oh geez, the letter icon is up – I’m almost afraid to go there.

On the email lists that I’m on, if you get a hold of the list moderator, s/he can take the offending email out before it gets sent. Of course, if its already posted, I reccommend the witness protection program…


I can think of no more stirring symbol of man’s humanity to man than a fire engine - Kurt Vonnegut

choice #1. try to make ajoke out of it, and suck up.

choice #2. hold your position, you may looklike a bitch,but if you are annoyed, chances are you arent the only one…they may thank you if she quits…
Keep us posted!

Get a new name!?!

Oh man, the letter icon was my message.

Kellibelli, I like your #2 choice. I’ve always considered “bitch” a compliment.

Keeping the name change idea in reserve – it’s a really neat list and I’d hate to be booted.

Say Auntie Pam–this new member didn’t ask the “gry” question, did she? :slight_smile:

Bug Vomit- you beat me to that screen name…I love it!!
That really sucks, but I don’t know what you can do except just don’t post for a week or so and see if the furor (if any) just dies down. I’m of the school of “who, me?”. Ignore it and it will go away. :slight_smile:
Or, e-mail the person and apologize- blame it on hormones

Run for the hills, folks! Or you’ll be up to your armpits in martians!


Glad you like it, it fits me on an off day. I must credit Mike King for the inspiration.

I recommend the “apologize, disappear and resubscribe under a different name” approach, meself.

I’ve had to do that exact thing when I let myself get provoked into starting a major flame war on a cat newsgroup. I apologized, bailed, waited a couple of days, then came in again under a different name.

You know how sometimes you do something silly and want to just go out and come in again? Well, on the 'Net, you can!

Yeah, apologize - tell her you’re sorry she’s an idiot.

How about blaming it on someone else, like, “my son/daughter/spouse sent it; they misguidedly thought it would be funny” - that style of thing.

you know, I think ol’Bug Vomit’s got a point here.


AuntiPam: Why would anyone want to apologize if they’re right? Common courtesy is not a one-way street – if they kid insists on showing her ass, you shouldn’t feel at all ungracious because you pointed out,“Hey, hasn’t that kid got a big ass?”

How about posting a public followup telling the truth – that you didn’t mean to send the message to the board? You could apologize to the kid for hurting her/his feelings. Then (what the hell, go for it), point out in a pleasant way that the kid will continue to have troubles on public message boards unless he/she can learn to post a little more intelligently. Be nice and polite, and give specific examples of the behaviors that caused you to conclude that the kid was an idiot. Go ahead and offer suggestions to improve the offending posts as well. I’ll bet that others on the board who are irritated by the kid will chime in with support for your second post, if not your first.

If this doesn’t work – drop the board and, a few weeks later, join up again under a new name! :slight_smile:


Full of 'satiable curtiosity

It could have been worse. Much worse. I’m on a mailing list that originates at the Federal Communications Commission, the folks who are responsible for, among other things, enforcing the Communications Decency Act of ’96. Boy, wasn’t I surprised when I got the world’s dirtiest joke from them. The poor drone who is supposed to send the FCC’s activities to about 3,000 people hit the wrong button.

She doesn’t send the list anymore. I hope she didn’t get fired. I even sent an email to the Office of Public Affairs (they had emailed me an apology) saying that everyone had done this at one time or another. But this particular instance was picked up immediately by every anti-FCC website in the country as an example of “hypocrisy,” like William Kennard himself sent the silly thing. So I think she’s hosed.

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

DIF - you’re exactly right, of course. She’s just a kid, but I think I can handle it better if she continues posting without a clue.

I did post an apology – without being too specific, in case some folks hadn’t noticed.

Received an e-mail from a member who said she’d done the same thing only she had named names and called someone a bitch.

The really weird thing is that today the kid posted a note to the list, directed to me, saying “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

I have no clue what she means. Is she sorry she didn’t know she’s an idiot? Sorry she didn’t know I was being berating her?

Looks like I got away with it this time though.

Thanks for all your help.