I saw an Oprah way way back about women who were pregnent and didn’t know.
Ladies do you think from your own personal experience this is possible?
I could see maybe having a miscarriage after 4 months or something but I can’t see how a women could carry a baby to full term and only know AFTER she is in labor she was pregnent.
But then again I’m a guy.
From what I’ve heard, it’s a mental thing, not a physical thing. The woman does not want to be pregnant, so she completely blocks it out of her head. She doesn’t deal with it. It’s an extreme form of denial.
Something like this happened to an aunt of mine. When she was about 18 or 19, she was living with my parents, who were 10+ years older than her. She got pregnant, and ignored it until one night she woke my parents up and told them she was having a baby! They had never noticed anything other than she was gaining weight - she wore very baggy clothes and successfully hid the pregnancy. I guess she just looked the other way until all of a sudden she was in labor. Talk about denial, eh?
Had a friend many years ago who had a client who was so obese that she didn’t know she was pregnant. Obesity tends to mess up a woman’s cycle so lack of periods was nothing unusual for her. Since it was her first pregnancy, she had no experience with labor and so had no idea what was causing her such discomfort. The pain drove her to the ER where the docs were as surprised as anyone when she delivered within 20 minutes of her arrival.
Didn’t they experience a few odd feelings when the baby moved? “Oh, there goes my liver again–climbing up under my lungs.” I’m pretty suspicious about this.
I don’t have children yet, but I was right there through all of my friends pregnancies. I just can’t begin to fathom how you wouldn’t know, much less be able to hide it. Unless my friends are really unusual, each and every one of them got a HUGE baby belly even if they didn’t gain much elsewhere. Even in baggy clothes, there was no mistaking it - it was definately not “putting on some weight”. That and the complaints of “the baby is sitting on my bladder”, “the baby is kicking my ribs”, etc. Morning sickness, bloating, hot flashes, no period, general stiffness, incontinance(sp?), aching back, heartburn - you somehow miss all of this, too?
Holy crap, that’s gotta be some heavy duty denial. I don’t buy it.
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I’ve heard of cases where the mom-to-be gained like, twelve pounds and didn’t get that much of a belly, and her husband, who saw her naked on a regular basis, was too much of a gentleman to notice the slight weight gain. Then out of a clear blue sky, she delivers a seven pound baby. Such cases are extremely rare. Ninety-nine times out of a hundres, it’s just plain heavy-duty denial.
I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent
I’ve heard that some of those people are anorexics (so they don’t gain much weight) or on drugs (too doped up to notice.) Considering that, it sounds rare but possible.
A friend of mine (Marisa) never knew that her little sister (Kristin) was pregnant until two months before she delivered. They only found out when the father’s mother called and told them. They changed together (bought homecoming dresses together), and Marisa never noticed anything but “a little” weight gain. Even when she was full term, and I knew she was pregnant, I could barely tell. Of course, Kristin knew, so not sure what that says.
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A neighbor of mine (she was a year ahead of me in school) claimed she didn’t know she was pregnant until she had the baby. She was overweight and had it in the shower. My cousin went out on the ambulance call when it happened and of course the family had a big debate about whether it was possible or not to know you were pregnant. My neighbor was married at the time so I don’t think there was a huge reason for denial but who really knows (other than the mother).
The other thing to take into account is that there is some shocking ignorance out there. My mom pulled a shift in ER when a girl came in several months along in her pregnancy. Not only did the girl not understand that she was pregnant, she didn’t know how she got pregnant (her boyfriend had “touched” her “down there”), and she didn’t really understand what being pregnant meant. Up until that point, the girl had thought she was terribly ill.
That kind of ignorance is incomprehensible to me, but it does exist. I suppose the girl’s parents were trying to protect her and keep her out of trouble by leaving her in the dark. If that’s true, their plan backfired pretty spectacularly.
No way. Anorexics would have a hard time carrying a baby to term due to their condition. My cousin lost 3 babies (twins and a single) before she overcame anorexia. The doctors were amazed that she even got pregnant, let alone carry for 3 months and almost 4. Also, thin women seem to show more.
Except for very young or very ignorant (i.e. mentally disabled) who many not understand what pregnant means, I don’t buy that a woman would not know she was pregnant.
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I’ve heard of this as a fof story, but I’ve never known anyone personally who was pregnant to any degree and didn’t know it.
Oh, except my sister with her second child. She got pregnant six weeks after her first was born, and never had a period in between. She didn’t know when to expect it, so at first she wasn’t real worried. After several months, she noticed something growing in her abdomen. She really thought she had cancer or something. With the first, she’d had morning sickness, all the symptoms of pregnancy, plus she’d been trying. With the second, nothing. She went to the doctor when she was about 6 months pregnant with #2 and told him she thought she had cancer. He did a quick exam and said “There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just going to have a baby.”
So I guess it can happen, but I think you’d notice something eventually.
I honestly didn’t realize I was pregnant until about the third month. Since I’d been using protection and have always had really irregular periods, the thought just didn’t occur to me. I can’t believe how stupid I was! I just put all the symptoms (nausea, tender, swollen breasts, fatigue) down to stress and a very extended case of PMS. To be fair to myself, I really was under a lot of stress. A friend had to tell me that I was probably pregnant and to get to a doctor, quick!
I don’t know about going the whole 9 months and not knowing. You’d have to be in serious denial, not to realize that your stomach does not usually kick your lungs.
I don’t know how you could have a baby living inside you, kicking you in the ribs and the pubic bone and rolling all around and not know it!
My friend’s sister had a baby and no one knew she was pregnant. She didn’t know either until she had the baby (she was a rather large woman though). I guess it really can happen but I still can’t fathom how!
That John Denver’s full of shit man!
I believe the story about the obese woman because my friend told me about it right after the child was born. She had seen this client regularly for more than a year and never noticed a difference in her size because she was so enormous to begin with. Having delivered a couple myself, I can only imagine that the layers of fat dampened the effect of the baby’s movement. Not meaning to be cruel, but what astounds me is that she GOT pregnant. HOW??? I don’t normally care what happens in other people’s bedrooms, but I’d pay to see THAT video!
A friend of a friend had a similar experience. The story goes like this:
The woman, who is rather overweight, isn’t feeling quite so well, and finally goes to the doctor. Doctor says, “Did you know you were pregnant?” She says, “Oh my god, no! How long until I’m due?” Doc says, “Well, maybe we can hold it off for another week or so.”
Woman freaks out, tells her boyfriend, who also freaks out (and who I have met – a first class asshole), and accuses her of lying to him and trying to trap him in a relationship. She has the baby, he has become bitter and resentful of both the baby and the mother, and then they get married. Oh, joy. Another happy little nuclear family.
From his point of view, however, what a shock. Most couples have at least half a year to prepare for the coming baby. They had about five days…
Never underestimate the powers of denial. I know people who can deny the most impossible things. It’s entirely believable to me that a young, naive girl can just look the other way when she’s pregnant until all of a sudden she’s in labor. Think about the 17 year olds you know - seems almost more likely that they’d deny it than step up and take responsibility!
Sure you can be pregnant & not know it, especially if you haven’t been educated in sex & pregnancy. Pretty rare.
On the other side of the coin, there are women who think they are pregnant, when they are not. Called false pregnancy, its a bit more common.
Well, I personally know a couple to whom this happened. They were on five talk shows and after a terrible experience on Geraldo they said, “No more talk shows!” Of course, that’s when Oprah called. D’oh!
Anyway, the wife (I’ll call her Cindy) is tiny. Like a size five. The husband (I’ll call him Joe) saw that she’d gained a little weight over the winter but didn’t say anything about it to her. Her period had always been very light. Anywya, one day Joe is attending a big meeting about two hours away from home. Cindy calls him on his cellular phone and says, “Honey, come home. I have something important to tell you.” Joe says, “If you just have something to tell me, why don’t you do it over the phone?” This was an important meeting. Cindy says, “I’m holding our baby in my arms.”
Joe drives home thinking morbid thoughts like She’s had a miscarriage and is holding the dead fetus in her arms…
Nope. He gets home and Cindy’s sitting on the bed with a seven-pound baby girl in her arms and their two-year old daughter next to her. The afterbirth is in the toilet.
Their doctor said that Cindy had cracked her tailbone during the delivery of their first child and this allowed her to carry their second in a lower position than normal.
Joe and Cindy say that the toughest part was convincing their insurance company to cover their new child.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that a woman could go 40 weeks without feeling anything unusual down there. Wouldn’t you notice the frequent urination? Breast tenderness? Constipation? Hunger Increasing?
This stuff amazes me. Just the last week or so when the head drops down into the pelvic area makes your crotch feel like you went on a long bike ride.
Being “in touch with your body” is a fairly recent phenomenon, I think – and pregnancy wasn’t always the big deal some women make it out to be today. Ultrasound pictures and all that, I mean.
Maybe it’s the peasant coming out in me, but I have four children, all in their 30’s, and each pregnancy was about the same. Until the 4th month or so, when the baby’s movements could be felt, my only symptoms were the lack of periods and slightly tender (and bigger) breasts. Saw the ob-gyn maybe three times with each pregnancy.
And I felt nothing special when birth was impending – didn’t notice that baby was moving downward, none of that. Cramping? Time to go to the hospital.
Women today are so much more educated about what their bodies are going through, they’re naturally more conscious of these changes. Then again, these are women who are really into their pregnancies – no denial there. Just look at me, I’m pregnant, and here’s what’s happening today. (Sorry, I’m still blase about it. Unless you’ve had difficulty conceiving, what’s the big deal?)
Back to the OP, I worked with a large (married) woman who also said she didn’t know she was pregnant until she went into labor. I had no reason to doubt her.