Where do I know you from?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You look really familiar. Did you used to work at that video place on Broadway, you know, the one with all the foreign films?

No?

Seriously, your face rings a bell. Did I meet you at the street fair last year? You didn’t sell candles, or puppets or anything?

God, this is killing me, I know you from someplace.

Were you on TV?

Did you used to go out with this really short brunette girl, with the Dead Kennedys fixation and the pink Kharman Ghia?

I just can’t place you. This is going to bug me for days…

2

About five years ago I used to hang out at the Coffee Cellar, that yellow building on Southern Ave. that became Cafe Apocalypse for a while and is now empty rental space. Is that where you’ve seen me?

3

No, no, wait! I know!

You were in the hospital last June… am I right? Suffering from an infection from a mishandled tongue stud? And you had to have a catheter re-inserted because in your delerium you pulled it out balloon-and-all and ruptured your urethra? And you had to have your… you know what remodeled?

Oh, hang on! That wasn’t you at all, was it?!

Geez, this is creepy…

4

Remember that night you got drunk, and asked that guy in the bar out?

I’m still not interested.

5

I can’t believe you’ve forgotten! I used to sing at the Grand Hotel in Michigan and you were an admirer – a little weird, but cute… You gave me a watch and then I gave it back to you much later. Can’t you hear the strains of “Rachmaninoff’s Variations on a Theme by Paganini”? Where did you disappear to? I thought you were supposed to be "Mr. Visible’…

If you go to the Grand Hotel, you will see a portrait of me on the wall.

6

Nonono, Mr. Visible, I only look like that guy you saw in that, er, adult film:)

Well, er, certain parts of me do. Certain others … well, there’s a reason I don’t do movies…