(posted here, rather than ATMB due to language)
OK Newbies, since this is the pit, I have a few suggestions as to where, exactly, your post can g…no. Strike that. Start over.
OK, not that I’m such an old hand myself, but I remember the shame and anxiety I felt when I tried to decide which forum was the right one for my topic. I’ve since come to a (very general) conclusion that most topics can fit in most forums if phrased properly.
So, the situation: I caught my thumbnail on a piece of cloth and tore half the thing off. Basic fact. Sounds like plain ol’ MPSIMS fodder, right? Not so fast, Sparky.
Topic: Owie! I hurt myself!
Text: Ow! Ow! Ow! I just caught my thumbnail on a piece of fabric! Tore half of it off. It hurts! Jeez it hurts! etc. I want a Doper-babe to kiss it and make it better. When’s the next doper-fest anyway?
That’s all well and good for a MPSIMS post, but perhaps it doesn’t have the necessary oomph that you want in a post.
We then move on to the Pit version. Note: this is the reason I posted this in the pit.
Topic: Motherfucking Thumbnails Suck!
Text: Toad-Feltching Goat-Humpers son-of-a-bitch this hurts! I just caught my thumbnail on a piece of cloth and ripped half of the fucking thing off. Fucking Thumbnails! Fuck, I hate them! What kind of assholes design cloth that fingernails can snag so easily on? AaaaaAargh!
We then move on to the IMHO version:
Topic: Dopers! Does anything hurt worse than this?
Text: I just ripped half my thumbnail off and it really, REALLY hurts. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of any non-serious injury that hurts more. Can YOU?
The General Questions version of this is easy:
Topic: What are thumbnails for, anyway?
Text: I mean, do they serve any function? Or are they just there as, evolutionary left-overs like an appendix? I just ripped half of mine off and I can’t see a purpose for it except to cause excruciating pain.
Great Debates could go one of two ways:
Topic: Thumbnails: Proof AGAINST intelligent design
Text: Since no thinking creator would have designed us with thumbnails that hurt this much, I submit that this proves the lack of an intelligent designer. When one considers Gould’s arguments in The Panda’s Thumb…etc
or, you could go with the old standby
Topic: This is Clinton/Bush/Gore/Perot/LaRouche’s Fault!
Text: :rolleyes: On second thought, let’s just skip that one.
Comments On Cecil’s Columns just required using the Search feature
Topic: White Spots under your fingernails? A possible solution:
Text: In this column Cecil discusses the possible causes of white spots under a person’s fingernails. An easy way to cure this would be to simply rip your fingernails off (which I just did). No more fingernails means no more white spots.
Be sure to include a link to the original column or Arnold will eviscerate you (if he’s feeling generous, he’ll only maim you :D).
Sadly there has been a marked lack of Thumbnail topics in Staff reports. I suppose you could do a “Why aren’t more members of Cecil’s staff doing columns on the topic of Thumbnails”, but I suspect that Dex would simply have to kill the person who did so. NOT recommended!
Finally, now that I’ve done this message, you could post in ATMB asking the admins if I’m correct or just full of shit.
I hope this helps.