rampisad, do you really read the SDMB in the john? I thought I was the only one addicted enough to do that.
(No, I don’t bring an appliance in there, but I’ve been known to print the odd thread out and disappear for a while…)
ROTFLMAO*
IDBB
What is it with grown men being so fascinated about their bowel movements? Sure, women crap just as much as men, but we’re certainly not proud of it; it’s just a bodily function to be gotten through as soon as possible. My brothers, loudly exclaim about their bathroom exploits, and invite each other in to display their offspring proudly. My youngest brother proudly boasts that his wife buys a case of bathroom spray a month just for him. And he just turned 37.
Okay, not to brag, or toot my own horn. But as a woman, I am the daintiest bathroom goer alive.I can urinate without a hissing noise, and go #2 without a fart, a splash sound,a grunt, or even heavy breathing. Damn proud of it too.
Ohmigod! I work retail and every place I’ve worked the ladies bathroom is always GROSS! I mean, women can be nasty…and then they don’t clean up after themselves. They pee all over the frickin’ seat and never wipe up. GAH!!
The place I work at now has a high population of retired folks and old ladies ain’t shy about doing their business in public restrooms (not that they can help it, necessarily…)
but anyway, my co-worker and I give each other warning when we’ve just experienced “some lady blowing herself another asshole!!”
Oh God.(mmph) I… Can’t (He he he ) Stop (HAHAHA) , oh HELP!
I think I just laughed my ass OFF! (snort… sob… bwhahahahah!!)
Kid, the Elder just came in to see what was wrong with me and left in disgust. Congradulations! You managed to gross out a sixteen year old!
I, of course neither fart nor crap. On occasion, I let forth a delicate trickle of pure water. This is accomplished with a musical tinkle, entirely pleasing to the ear. I don’t burp, cough, sneeze or snore, either.
Really.
A little slow at getting in on the thread, but my coworker’s are now considering calling 9-1-1 because I can’t get my breath from laughing so hard. Actually had to make a run to the Ladies’ Room because you guys made me wet my pants!!! This thread has actually created 30 or so more Dopers just from listening to me laugh & snort (& tinkle) 
I’m glad someone revived this one. It’s just so funny. Normally I find this sort of humor gross, but the OP did an exceptional job of keeping it lighthearted and funny and as “non-sophmoric” as possible.
Now I can sit here and laugh my head off about projectile shitting all day long, but when someone named “Scablet” starts talking about tampons…<shudder>!:eek:
I’ve truly enjoyed this thread. I’m not proud of myself, but I can’t argue with the truth.
Lieu, aren’t you due for another description of your rectum’s contents?