Where is Clifford Banes? [Onion]

[Zeldar]

Filling in for Clifford Banes - In the know

There are many Onion clips with this sort of lead-in.

If you have a favorite or favorites and want to link to it/them, fine.

But if you have an idea for one (or more) that haven’t been used yet, how about sharing it/them here?

[CaveMike]

“I’m filling in for Clifford Banes who’s staying off the grid until things cool down.”

[Zeldar]

Fun Fact: I went to Yahoo! Search for references to Clifford Banes and found a link to this thread among others.

For instance, at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheOnion there’s

•The Ghost: Clifford Banes, the supposed host of In The Know. The various reasons given are Troperiffic:
“I’m sitting in for Clifford Banes, who has been accidentally erased.”
“I’m sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is battling his nemesis to the death on top of a clock tower.”
“I’m sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is regaling the interns with tales of his days at sea.”
“I’m sitting in for Clifford Banes, who messed with the wrong people and got involved in some serious shit.”

Another fun hit is http://www.funnyordie.com/thepublicnewsnetwork