I agree, for what it’s worth. I’m just not convinced that that’s actually what they see, rather than her just liking to pretend* that that’s why she’s kneeling on the floor, when in reality, she’s just kneeling on the floor.
*I hesitate to use the word pretend, but I can’t think of a more suitable one. It’s a game they play, basically. Like with the notebook **Rubystreak **brought up. I can imagine that being done in a playful, non-serious way, and **freekalette **seems to confirm that (Again, all I know is what she tells us, and of course, she could just be backpedaling, though I don’t really get that vibe from her. I’m just trying to find a way to describe it so that it becomes a little more comprehensible.)
And now I really do have stop posting and go to bed.
You ask a lot of rhetorical questions in this thread, but, other than changing your off-the-wall accusation, your understanding of BDSM and the practitioners thereof is apparently in complete limbo. 14 pages and there is apparently no mental progress on this subject at all, in the minds of Dio, Justin, Sarah, and a few others. That’s fine, I guess. You started out deliberately misunderstanding the lifestyle, spent thousands of words lampooning it without actually giving a damn about the participants, and now at least one poster is sick of hearing it. Either show the slightest damn bit of respect (and no, Dio, “fucked up” is not respect) or accept that you’re a damn social conservative with no sense of justice regarding consensual crimes and go back to trying to criminalize marijuana or some stupid thing.
I give up. I’ll be in some other forum where people actually think before they post the same judgmental drivel for the fiftieth time in a row, now with different quotes.
Also: what the hell is this “attention whore” shit. ‘Ask the prison doctor’ sounds pretty attention whoring, but it taught a lot of people a lot of things from a unique source. Now there are threads about sexuality and satanism that people might not’ve expected a month ago, and suddenly it’s all bad news cuz-- what, you want the status quo every fucking month?
Go back to pitting Ed Zotti or something if that’s what you want. The rest of us are here to learn something.
No, it means that successful societies have risen out of these conditions. Most of the people participating in this thread seem to have the idea that those conditions necessarily lead to some kind of highly negative result. The thing is, no one has actually said what that result would be. They’ve also neglected to provide any kind of proof for said accusation.
Same said societies have also given rise to many a balanced, healthy adult. We have real, meaningful proof of that. Do we have any proof of the opposing argument, though?
Okay, I actually agree with much of what you have been saying in this thread, but asking a child to take a plate of food to a parent isn’t really forcing the child to serve the parent. I mean, I ask my kids to do stuff for me or for their dad all the time, and I would not consider myself to be forcing them into subservience in any kind of meaningful way.
That being said, if Freekazette is indeed in some kind of headspace where she’s envisioning herself and the kids as subservient to the Dom/Master – even if she’s not overt about it to the kids – that’s kind of messed up.
And while I’m here, the thing that I find the most messed up about all of this is her comment about how her husband will punish her by staying out with his friends. So this means that either he values the company of his friends much more than he values the company of his wife; or he is punishing himself along with his wife (which would never do, I suspect). He is also denying his presence not only to his wife but to his kids as well. Not cool. I am with Rubystreak in that to me, this does not feel like a D/s dynamic but rather just a dick move on the husband’s part.
No, because only a retard could possibly think the kids perceive otherwise. They see a guy ordering their mother around like a servant. They see her wearing a dog collar and grovelling at his feet for affection. They are told that he is the “boss” of the household and that they have to participate in servicing his demands. Bringing the kids into it is beyond the pale and you sound like one more childless expert on parenting. I don’t think a lot of people in this thread understand how sensitive children are to family dynamics, don’t know anything about how they respond to what they see and can’t really see them as anything other than theoretical abstractions. It’s not about the goddamn lifestyle, you oh, so tolerant assholes, it’s about straightening up and acting like a mature adult in front of the kids. They need their mother to be their mother, not a character in a never ending psychodrama.
For that matter, demanding that other people prove the harm is bullshit. Prove it’s fucking safe. Don’t use kids as guinea pigs and just hope they’ll be ok.
They may not; they may perceive that their mother is being treated perfectly appropriately. Why is that better?
Sexualized role playing is too sophisticated and mature a concept for children. They are not best served by parents who are modeling subservience or dominance as appropriate in personal relationships. They won’t understand that it is “pretend” because they don’t perceive adults as engaging in “pretend”; they won’t understand it is “pretend” because “pretend” is things like superheroes and princesses, not things like master and servant; and (hopefully) they won’t understand the sexual pay-off.
I have no problem with anything two consenting adults want to do in the privacy of their bedroom. I have a problem with parents deciding it is more important to engage in their own kink than it is to promote healthy and respectful self-images, gender concepts, conflict resolution, and communication. There may well be times it is appropriate to kneel at the feet of your husband; in front of your kids isn’t one of them. If you like him to your hair, sit on the couch as he does it.
I’m sorry you believe that to be the case. I have been trying to learn something from these threads…I’m sorry that you don’t like the fact that I have let some of my concerns be known, but that does not mean that I am not trying to understand where you are coming from.
I nominate some of them too (but I don’t automatically equate “religious” with dominance and submission). And do you think parenting choices* should never be judged at all, or should it just be a free-for-all?
So anything short of killing a child is ok parenting?
I won’t call freek’s choices a “style,” because I see them as an abdication of parental responsibilities, not as some novel approach or method. What she’s doing is no more a parenting “style” than being an alcoholic or a compulsive gambler. She’s choosing a sexual addiction over her kids.
Well, you got me there. I guess I was just remembering my dad’s “Look”. It was damned scary-my dad’s a huge guy. I basically should have read closer-I was thinking an annoyed “look” isn’t really a bad thing. But I overreacted myself, and for that I appologize.
Okay, now THAT part I missed. That is seriously, seriously fucked up. Hella fucked up.
Dio, I appologize. (Also, not having seen the comment you edited out, that I can’t comment on)
Not able to edit, but I somehow skipped this part:
Damn…just, damn. It’s one thing to be cranky, and say, “Honey, sorry about that-I didn’t mean to be so bitchy”, and quite another to feel guilty for wanting affection from your spouse after an argument.
(Okay, someone can start “punishing” me for being so goddamned stupid and not paying attention)