Where should we go for Christmas with a toddler?

So I’ve been trying to figure out how to bring up the “Christmas issue” with my mom for a bit now. My dad died this March and this is going to be her first Christmas without him, and that’s going to be really hard. They’d only been in their new place for 8 months, so she’d only spent one Christmas with him there, but I don’t know if that’s better or worse or…?

Anyway, she brought it up herself last night and said she wanted to take a trip. I was figuring she meant me and her in a hotel room somewhere, and I’d leave the baby with my husband, but she wants all of us to go. Which is great, but where?

It’d be me, my husband, an 18 month old baby, and my 74 year old mom. She was thinking cruise, which does offer child care possibilities, but of course cruises are very popular over the holidays and ew, cruise. Plus we’d still have to travel some ways to board, as the only line that comes to Charleston is Carnival and NO NEVER AGAIN. So no matter what, we’re traveling with baby, by plane or by car.

We’re in Columbia, SC. She isn’t sure if she wants winter or tropical, but I think somewhere she never went with Dad would be best (but not somewhere they always wanted to go!). I suggested Asheville if she wants something near, or Montreal or maybe Quebec City if we’re getting on a plane? Upstate New York? Snow is a super-novelty for me, but my mom grew up in Pittsburgh so after almost 40 years in the south it’s a leeetle novelty but not something to travel for.

For warm, I don’t know, other than the whole cruise thing. Maybe a resort, which still offers the child care option? Puerto Rico? Miami? I mean, I don’t care, I’ll put Stinker on my back and go. I’m totally fine with just doing most of what we’d do normally, only we go to bed at 8 and stare at the Pack and Play. Little concerned about cramming a napping toddler into a cruise stateroom but people do it. (We did travel with him in June, when he was a little under a year, just to Charlotte for two nights for a comic book convention - it worked okay but he didn’t really nap.) Little guy is different every day, no way to predict what kind of a kid he’ll be in December.

So, suggestions? When I say “with a toddler” obviously I don’t really mean “activities for baby”, he’s just as amused by a paper napkin as he is by an amusement park. He eats literally anything that stands still long enough, so food is in no way a problem. Not sure my husband would even trust on-site child care but if that’s an option I think it would be nice to use it at least a little, which would put us in the cruise-big resort category. (No Disney - a) Farticus is too young to enjoy it and b) that’s the last trip they took together.)

As I’m reading this, the trip is more for her than the toddler. My brain first heads to places that would give her “Kodak moments” to record and memories to treasure. My first thoughts are places like Santa Claus Indiana where the holiday is done up to the nines or maybe a place like Dollywood that does a special version for the holiday. Some of those places do have forms of day care nearby so you can have some adult time as well but they give her a great chance to fawn over her grandbaby and pull up memories of the good times she had with you and your father more than the sadness of missing him.

The trip is definitely for her - the toddler is just a difficult to accommodate piece of luggage.

I think you need to have a chat with hubby, and decide whether on-site child care is an option. Because that’s the type of amenity that makes it an actual vacation for Mom, but also you pay a lot more for it, and it requires going to a cruise or large resort, which means a fairly plastic packaged experience. So don’t make the trade-offs if he’s planning to balk. I mean, obviously if you get to the daycare room and the attendant is doing Ukrainian baby yoga with one of the other children, you’re not going to leave him there. But establish the boundary and general intent before you decide where to book.

What does your Mother need most? Distraction? If so what kind? Or does she just need peaceful family time with her daughter, SIL, and grandchild?

And this is your first Christmas with baby isn’t it? what do you want? A place you can decorate up and have a tree in? (Cabin in the mountains, maybe?) or a real break, with on-site massage and no kitchen in the room? A sun infusion? Or would snow just make the Christmas for you?*

And do you want to be able to cook Christmas dinner, or are you all for having it in a restaurant?

For myself I’d go for an all-inclusive resort or a self-catering cabin. The recent reports of cruise germs would have me worried about taking a baby on board. And just imagine if he gets sea-sick, with you all stuck in a cramped space? The risk is too big for the payoff in my book.

ETA: Make sure there is some Mother-daughter time for serious memories and processing sadness. But also make it your goal to laugh with her at least once per day. Grieving folks sometimes need a loved-one to give them “permission” to laugh again. Make sure she knows she can honor his memory and grieve while also having fun.

*All I did was forget to capitalize “Christmas”, and the spell checker wanted to know if I meant “masochist” !?! :eek: :eek: :eek:

This is actually our second Christmas with the little guy, but the first one where he might be a little interactive about it. His first Christmas he was, what, six months old? It was more of a “okay, wait until the VERY LAST MINUTE and I’ll put the outfit on him, please please please please don’t spit up on Santa…”

I figure as far as me and my husband go, we can do our “own Christmas” some other time and I’ll do a turkey or whatever. It’s really not that big a deal to me.

You might look at Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg/Dollywood area if you want cold and Christmas.

What does your Mom want to do? Is she active? Does she golf or swim? Does she want to lay in the sun with a pitcher of margaritas? Does she want shopping and theaters? I think that’s the place to start. What does she want to do when she gets there?

I would suggest Las Vegas, actually, since Disney is off the table. There’s a million different things to do. The weather should be nice. They have every kind of hotel and service you can imagine - for a price, of course. Farticus (love it) is young enough that the call girls will go over his head.

The only thing is, you’ll need to move fast if you’re going to make reservations for Christmas/ New Year’s week.

What exactly about a vacation is appealing to your mom? Does she want to do a bunch of new and exciting activities? Or another thought is that if she just wants to a get away from her daily routine, maybe look for a city or town that is not where you live, but maybe the next large-ish city away from you (Charlotte? Savannah?), save on travel cost and time, and then plunk yourselves in a a high-end hotel and enjoy whatever your mom enjoys – spa day? theater? and you can also do all the toddler things that are similar yet at least marginally different from the usual toddler things you do at home for a change of scenery.

My mom and I took a vacation to a city that was an hour’s drive away, and we were amazed at how many things were new to us, because it never occurred to us to go there before as it didn’t seem far away enough to be a real “vacation.”

Two suggestions:

  1. Stone Mountain, Atlanta, GA - theme park, park-wide seasonal dealies, train rides, etc…

  2. Silver Springs Attraction, Ocala, FL - glass bottom boat rides, wildlife rides (jeeps); for Xmas, they have the entire (HUGE) park lit up with displays with a special nighttime rate for the park; carolers, da woiks. Usually pleasant, weather-wise, even at night (you might need a light jacket at night).

Mom likes a lot of different vacations - she likes restaurants, tours, museums, wineries, shows, shopping, but also national parks, beaches, etc. Nothing too active (I said “well we should probably go somewhere you didn’t go with Dad, or at least not for a long time” and she said “yes, I think that’s a good idea” and I said “let’s hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu!” and got a Look) but she doesn’t totally lie around and beach bum, either.

I do think a city is imperative, or at any rate an area with more than just mountains or beach - just me and the husband, or with friends, and I’d say let’s get a mountain cabin. We actually did a vacation like that a couple years ago with a bunch of friends up in NC, rafted on the Nantahala, had a blast and it was cheap as hell, too. But I think she’d like more stuff to do. Museums, shopping, a winery, something.

Vegas I thought of - she and Dad used to go fairly regularly when Dad was on his classic car kick, but that’s been awhile and they definitely have a lot of amenities. Lots of spas and shows. When I went I found the Hoover Dam trip fascinating, although I think she and Dad did that. Long plane ride with Stinker, though. I put it on the list.

She didn’t give me a straight answer when I asked if she wanted White Christmas or Tropical Vacation, so I figured I’d give her some options in both directions.

We spent Christmas at the Grove Park Inn in Asheville once when I was in high school and had such a great time - I think she’s a little considering that one, although obviously it’s a place we went with Dad, but it’s already all booked up. Then again, you never know if something is REALLY all booked up until you start working available angles. I know it’s expensive as hell but she’s paying, so if that’s what she wants it’s what she gets. Of course Asheville varies during the winter, so probably I wouldn’t get my snow.

Hey, maybe Colonial Williamsburg does a Christmas thing? She and I had the best time there once (just the two of us).

It sounds like your mom needs to come up with a short list of places she’d like to go and you can figure it out from there. You can make it work with the toddler pretty much anywhere. I do think a warm weather destination will be easier than cold. You won’t have to pack as much stuff and you’ll have more activities at your disposal.

A small vacation rental might be a good option instead of a hotel.

It TOTALLY does a Christmas thing, it is literally as if Christmas exploded all over Colonial Williamsburg.

Sadly, I withdraw suggestion #2 - SSA lost their lease in 2013, was taken over by the state as a park, and most of the attractions were closed and the animals that hadn’t died were relocated. Son of a bitch!

I have nothing to suggest about vacations.

I just want to say that , whatever you do:
With your attitude and sense of humor about life forms that recently emerged from your body… I would enjoy travelling with you. :slight_smile:

Oh he didn’t emerge like a budding flower, he had to be excised. So he started out this way.

If you’ll take half the high altitude babywearing you can do the Inca Trail with me!

Asheville Cabins in North Carolina. Not too close, not too far.

Yup. If you want to mainline Christmas, this is one way to do it.

I’m fond of Vegas over Christmas. Usually, the rates and crowds aren’t bad, so long as you avoid NYE.

Williamsburg at Christmas is stunning. It’s completely done up, but in a classic way - there’s not a plastic ornament to be seen. Consider Great wolf Lodge, for family friendly amenities. You can also get more for less by sharing a two-bedroom suite. They have a huge indoor waterpark, so you can get warmth, sun, and swimming along with a fair chance of snow outside.

Christmas at Colonial Williamsburg is terrific; I’ve been one of the historical people there a couple times. And while some things in the extended area close a lot is still open and do the holiday just as well.