Where to buy a classy, but not totally boring special-occasion dress?

My little brother (he’s actually 33 and 6’3") is getting married in September 2023, and the dress code for the big event itself is Cocktail Attire. Actually, if you want to be technical, he had a City Hall wedding this past September, because my dad has been in the hospital since May, and nobody was sure he would survive to see it, so the September 2023 event will actually be the party.

Because Pandemic, I haven’t put on a dress at all in nearly 3 years, and the ones I already have are more suited to business casual officewear. I am also nearly 21 years older than my (half-)brother, so most mass-market dressy attire marketed to women my age is more Mother of the Bride. And dressy attire aimed at women generally seems to be full of little spaghetti strap numbers, skirts that go well above the knee, sequins, shiny polyester, etc.

So what are some places where I can look for something that is festive and classy, yet not totally boring (and not black), dammit? Natural fiber options would be bonus. I need some new ideas. If you’re the type who likes to dress other people and are up for some specific brainstorming, I am short and curvy, so things aimed at tall, lanky women are probably not going to be great options. I do love color and tend a little toward the boho side if I have a choice in the matter. Suggest away!

Do you have a Nordstrom’s available? They aren’t cheap but they tend to have the kind of stuff you’re looking for.

Yep, I do. I haven’t been crazy about most of what I have seen online there. Maybe I am just too picky…I am willing to spend some money on a dress, but probably not $500 or anything like that.

I would actually go to the store, they’re liable to have items that aren’t shown on line, especially items that are low inventory. I don’t think you’re going to have a whole lot of luck scoring a dress of this kind on line, gonna have to go into a store. I know, sucks but these are things that MUST be tried on.

I am fine with going into a store to try on, but I find the opposite - there are way fewer options in the store than online. I am short, so it’s likely that some alterations may be involved in any case.

How about independent boutique stores, anything like that around? Given that NYE is just around the corner you’d think formal wear would be available but, well, pandemic.

If by “curvy” you mean overweight or having a large bust, I have found some great stuff at Kiyonna. I have had to get it tailored, but it’s good quality stuff, not too expensive and ranges from cocktail to black tie appropriate. I ordered a couple sizes larger than my actual size to accommodate my larger bust and just had the stuff taken in, and it worked (I have purchased three dresses from them.) I also like that their website features customers of all sizes wearing that specific cut.

This one’s my favorite:

I have it in purple.

I like that lace dress! There may just be no way around ordering a bunch of stuff and being prepared to return most of it. And yes, I could lose some weight, but I do have a shape. I’m pretty busty and prefer necklines that leave at least something to the imagination. Strapless? Not gonna happen. I need infrastructure.

Boutiques would be fine, but I have absolutely no idea where to start with that. I’m in Chicago, so there should be plenty of options, I just don’t have a clue.

The lady who made my wedding dress is more than a tad expensive for random dressup, but she is awesome and she also does alterations…I ended up there after trying the traditional wedding dress places, and realizing that a) 95% of mass-market wedding dresses are strapless; b) I don’t particularly feel drawn to white dresses; and c) if I was going to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dress, it probably made more sense to get what I wanted from the beginning rather than pay too much money for something that needed to be taken completely apart and put back together again.

Check with some bridal shops. They might rent bridesmaid dresses. Or have some things for sale cheaper than Nordstrom.

You might look into some "vintage " resellers too

Same. And the dresses I bought at Kiyonna can all be worn with my Ennel sports bras which have wide, supportive straps. (I am a 38G, for reference, and I bought size 3x and had them taken in/shortened. But the bust may have fit with smaller sizes, I don’t know. I was in a hurry and wouldn’t have had time to return them.)

I haven’t worn a dress in ~20 years but some dress-wearers in the house like to read over my shoulder.

They suggested:

and Eileen Fisher, although a quick glance at the latter suggests a limited and greyscale palette, and I don’t know if the tall and narrow models are representative of the fit.

One sibling who goes through a lot of fancy dresses buys everything at second-hand stores and alters them.

I got this dress in plum for a wedding this past September. I got so many compliments you’d have thought I was the bride herself. I probably should have invested in some shape wear too but I didn’t and I still looked great. I’m 43 years old and a size 22/24. This dress is available in places other than Nordstrom Rack.

Torrid has the most amazing strapless bra if you end up needing one. I rocked it for like 10 hours without a hint of slippage.

I really like the lace dress that was linked to too!

Another store to check is eloquii.com. I have some pants from there and they are very classy. They also make cuts for different body sizes (more or less curvy, taller or shorter).

Dress Barn used to be my go-to for in-person dress shopping, even when I was a 26/28. Sadly they are few and far between now. But if you have one near you check it out!

I feel your pain on that - 38L here. Often a 1X will fit me, though, or if not, then a 2X for sure. (I just had to get a new winter coat and did 2X to leave room for bulky layers.)

Can anyone here comment on Anthropologie? I have never bought anything there because most of their stuff tends to trend younger, but there are a couple on their website right now that look intriguing. I like this blue velvet number and am also oddly drawn toward this one, although it has colors that I normally avoid. I can be picky about colors - I tend toward jewel tones, especially blues and purples, and have a visceral hatred of earth tones and orange. Gee, now that I see it in print, I guess I am picky after all…

I’m short (5’4, or 5’5, depending on who you ask), wear a size 10 now, but wore a size 8 at the time, albeit, I was slightly busty, and sometimes needed a bigger size, and then had to have the waist taken in.

I also have a very long back, and needed a particular type of cut to fit right. Sometimes I needed to have a bigger size tailored for that reason too.

The lowest priced store available that offered tailoring when I was looking for something for my father’s funeral was Lazarus. The dresses were so cheap, though, that tailoring was not included, even though it was offered in-house, and was cheaper than it would be if I’d bought it there and taken it anywhere else.

Lazarus had replaced the similarly-priced Blocks, and now I think a Macy’s is in the same place.

Nordstrom’s is more expensive, but the last time I bought something there, tailoring was included. And it wasn’t hugely expensive. There were things under $100. It was a while ago, but I imagine there are things under $150 now.

If you look now there will probably be sales, and if you can wait until after Jan. 1, there will probably be mega-sales-- not just for inventory, but because they expect sales will drop after the New Year’s eve parties.

If you are interesting in renting https://www.renttherunway.com/

I don’t know if you’d be interested in any of these things, but I have several velvet items from the Pyramid Collection - I’ve got the emerald green dress, the black velvet skirt and the maroon embossed skirt.

Holiday Dressing & Fashions That Celebrate the Feminine Spirit | Shop Holiday Dressing Today (pyramidcollection.com)

They also have boho stuff, lace ( Draped-Sleeve Lace Dress - Pyramid Collection Fashions That Express Your Feminine Spirit), etc. Just pay attention to the reviews. Some of their things are a lot nicer than others.

I love velvet and have bought some beautiful pieces from them over the years.

Thanks for that! I do like velvet, but am debating what the weather is likely to be like. September in New England looks like it can be all over the place.

The last wedding I went to I bought several dresses online and one jumpsuit. Returned it all but the jumpsuit, it was a Michael Kors from Bloomingdale’s. Sleeveless v neck with wide pant legs, I think k there was some ruching going on it was a very flattering fit and beautiful blue in color. I liked the way it flowed as I walked. Of course super comfortable too.