Where to find a good talking fish on the wall

For my birthday, my sister gave me this very nice picture of the tops of buildings that she bought at the Portland Saturday (also on Sunday) Market. (read PNW junk) Since I recently immigrated from PNW to southern Missourah, I figured I could return the favor by finding “artwork” that would be appropriate to my new location.

I am familiar with Big Mouth Billy Bass, but I swear he was not the first by a long shot. I’m pretty sure I remember a similar item from the mid-nineties. Nevertheless, I just want to find the “fish” that says or sings the right thing.

No.

They are Things Of Evil™.

If you violate the taboo, you shall be cast out of the tribe.

NSFW (to be honest, I don’t think you can actually buy this).

You speak the truth. A cow-orker got one for his birthday. He showed it off to EVERYONE, EVERY TIME someone walked by his desk. It became a torture worse than waterboarding. I let it go for a day, but I was fed up after that. He ignored my requests to turn the damn thing off. I had to complain to management. It was gone the next day.

Asking “where to find good talking fish on the wall” is like saying “where can i contract good AIDS?”.

Excuse me, I have an idea to pitch to the Bush administration.

Anyway, I first saw one of those things around 1999 or 2000. I suppose there could be an earlier version, but I can’t think of one (and quite frankly, I don’t think I want to.)

Shame…I’d buy a dozen…

In that case, the best course of action is to provide your own message. The creators of the original singing fish unaccountably overlooked such a feature, but numerous amateur animatronic fish tinkerers have applied their ingenuity to the problem.

The miracle of science at work in your singing fish.

Here’s one site that provides instructions for hacking your fish.

These folks have designed a platform for programming your fish with Linux.

When my fish is complete, it will recite poetry with the voice of Dylan Thomas.

This is only peripherally on-topic, but if you’re interested in singing fish, you might want to check out a couple of pictures I took at this year’s How Berkeley Can You Be? parade. Click here, then click on Part 1 under Art Cars in the menu on the left. The pictures I refer to are the 8th and 9th under this menu selection.