:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
KITTY!!!
:: thud ::
Sorry, I just fell to the floor. am i gay…jeez louise what a question!!!
I said I was thinking of doing the guided tour thing. One passenger at a time, please.
And just for you, Silo…(I wouldn’t want to break any government-mandated posting guidelines or anything.)
OK, so let’s say I’m just really horny (gee, that’s a reach). I would want to be on the beach at night, and fuck like a banshee under the spell of a Mayan moon. Fuck, fuck, fuck, all night long, 'til the gulls flew in. How’s that?
SPACE?
That’s one I hadn’t thought of (Except during that old Bond video).
I was going to say on a flat-topped roof, like the one on my building. It has me thinking, but it never quite sounds comfortable enough to really work.
So, space. Sigh. Settle for the impossible over the impractical again.
-In Les Arenes de Lutece, an old Roman forum in Paris.
-Anywhere in Paris, for that matter.
-In a wonderful Sarah Bernhardt drawing room environment with satins and potted palms.
-In a metro station.
Well, we did the deed on a beach once, but it wasn’t exactly a romantic encounter. I was young, full of testosterone, and eager. She was willing to put up with my crazy ideas, so we found a spot where the road was near the water, walked through the bushes and down the bank to the water, and finished in all of about 4 minutes. I’m sure it was a non-event for her.
About two days later, I realized that the bushes were poison ivy. I itched in odd spots, lots of them. She didn’t get any, thankfully.
So my dream spot would still be a beach, on a warm summer night, with a clear starry sky. The campfire has died down to embers, and a few small ripples mar the surface of the lake. The full moon is climbing into the sky in front of us, and a pair of white swans glide by, as we lay on blankets in the warm sand.
And there’s not a growing green plant within 100 feet of us.
I hate to pop some balloons here, but just as info …
On a bed of rose petals isn’t particularly comfortable. Those things cling, and can get into the darndest places. And in the ocean can induce burning sensations in both partners. Salt water, you know.
(Yes, I am a romantic devil, but as you can see, my ideas don’t always pan out as well as I’d like for them to.)
I’ve also made love on a bed of money. My ex and I sold a car once, and the lady who bought it paid in cash. We had $3,000 in twenties. So we laid it on the bed and calculated our interest. Again, not as much fun as it would seem.
Of course, I’m circumcised, so according to Jack Dean Tyler, that’s my biggest problem right there.
A little tip for all of you would-be water lovers - it doesn’t work very well. The chlorine in pool water and the salt in ocean water tends to dry things out and it just becomes uncomfortable. BY the pool (preferably on the cushions you’ve just pulled from the chaise lounge) works pretty well, particularly in the middle of the day. BY the ocean (on a towel or sheet big enough to keep the sand away from the places you don’t want it) also works very well, particularly in the middle of the day. You may also want to try:
Inside the VA State Captial building (you’d be surprised how many rooms there are that no one every wanders into).
On Hanover Avenue, in the Fan district of the City of Richmond, right in the front yard (not, however, in the middle of the day).
In Hollywood Cemetery, overlooking the James River (in the middle of the day, but again, its a big place and there are all sorts of out of the way places).
In the middle of the James River, on a large flat rock (dusk, just enough light to see how to get back to shore).
In the middle of a freshly cut field in New Kent County, under about 800 gazillion stars, in June. I still have the mosquito bites on my butt to prove it.
Places still on my list to try: an airplane, a train, the backseat of a limo (a certain transportation theme here) moving through downtown at noon, lagoon-side in Tahiti, and in a Mayan ruin (going to Tulum in Feb. so that one’s going to happen).
My favorite place,however, is in my/our bed. No props, no extras, nothing fancy. Just the two of us. It doesnt’ get any better (for her or I, anyway).
