I edited the post, with great reluctance. I tried to leave most of the funny bits in, while leaving the more informative bits out.
ExTank, you should really be writing operating instructions. And I hope that I never get you really pissed off at me.
And to all our wonderful readers (and the rest of you, too)…remember, the US Gummint frowns on free-lance mayhem and destruction. If you want to play with tanks, join the armed services.
Lynn/SDStaff Lynn
For the Straight Dope
This is ridiculous.
Ain’t it though, Konrad?
Next time you’re at the grocery store, do this: look to your left; look to your right; look all around and really look at how many goobers are running around on this planet.
Just ask yourself how many of those people have concealed carry permits, or are disgruntled IRS auditors (or your Canadian equivalent), or who learned how-to-make-plastique-with-one-simple-trip-down-the-Household-Cleaners-aisle while they were in the Army.
See the zit-faced 16-year old behind the video rental counter? He’s planning to hack into the local airport and shut down the traffic-control tower because he couldn’t get a date to the prom.
See the middle-aged woman in the express lane with 1.7 x 10^25 items in her cart and her checkbook in her hand? She’s going to decide that she’s tired of cooking/cleaning for her fat-ass husband and snotty kids and drive her Dodge Caravan through the front window and bumper cars with all the other customers as an exercise in personal empowerment.
See the mousy looking front-end asistant manager? He started as a stock-boy in the '70s. He just recently took a trip to Mexico where he picked up a full-auto M-16 and a ball of meth for $20 US. Right now he’s contemplating his existence for the next twenty years as a front-end assistant manager while waiting for the meth to kick as he’s checking his ammo clips.
It’s a sick world my Polish friend, and someone left the door unlocked; the helmsman’s asleep at the wheel of the starship Titanic and there’s nothing but icebergs all around.
Someone should sell tickets.
<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>
<FONT COLOR=“BLUE”>“Don’t Panic!”</FONT>
Konrad, it is ridiculous - but, as ExTank pointed out above, we live in a ridiculous world.
A post describing how to make a bomb was deleted from the board a few months ago.
The Dole-arts-position thread in the BBQ Pit was retitled to avoid possible Secret Service/FBI attention.
IMO, this is not a case of censorship to protect us against ourselves, or to protect the rest of the world against looneys who would use the info unwisely, but simply to protect the SDMB.
Put it in a Columbine perspective - some disenchanted or bored teen is exploring the SDMB and comes across ExTank’s very explicit instructions. He prints them out, sneaks over to the National Guard Armory, steals a tank, and drives it through the front of his high school. The headlines read “Tank-Driving Teen Finds Instructions on Internet Message Board”. The SDMB gets a lot of unfavorable publicity, the advertisers yank their ads, no one else will touch it with a 10-foot pole, and the SDMB disappears.
Personally, I’d hate to see that happen. I’d rather tolerate a little judicious censorship than to lose the entire board forever.
It’s a shame that the board moderators/administrators have to even consider this aspect, but in the world today such an occurrence isn’t that far-fetched an idea.
Or maybe we’re all just getting a little paranoid.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
BenDover: You realize that this means I can no longer take you seriously as a human being anymore? I believe that our thinking processes are so fundamentally different that any meaningful communication is impossible and any attempt to do so results only in a transmission of absurdities.
To me it is unthinkable that Lynn should not be publicly mocked.
ExTank: How’d ya know I’m Polish? Am I to assume that someone actually reads my web page?
You sound like someone who’s familiar with cDc literature. Hmm?
Yes Konrad, I checked out your web-page.
Your usage of language is just different enough that something in my mind (one of the myriad “voices”) went “DING” and I checked your web page.
I generally discount foreigner’s opinions, as I feel they prolly haven’t been here long enough to grasp the subtler nuances of our particular form of insanity; you’re doubly cursed being a Canuck as well. Our northern neighbors are just to damned rational and mentally well-balanced for my tastes. Nice people, though.
If by CDC you are referring to the Center for Disease Control, then yes, I have some pasing familiarity with the letists propaganda sponsored by the less-than-savory gentleman we currently call “Mr. President” that they’ve been spewing forth like liquid feces for the past several years.
(Note to those with their Political Sensitivity Gain dialed to the max: this post was composed with Heavy Sarcasm filters in use.)
<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>
<FONT COLOR=“BLUE”>“It is now safe to remove your Heavy Sarcasm goggles.”</FONT>
ExTank: No, I mean cDc as in Cult of the Dead Cow. (www.cultdeadcow.com) They’ve written about 350 text files…
Yeah my english is weird because I learned it
In Ontario which has a lot of old English influence and
From reading, mostly older books and translations from other languages which are often done in to a more British style, so sometimes I write like someone from the 1930’s…
But hey, that’s not so strange compared to a friend of mine, also Polish, who went to a French school and spoke Polish at home so he mostly learned English from reading. Of course he likes to read religous and historical books so he writes like someone from the 1800’s… even pronounces the p in psychology and uses words like ‘thusly’.
BTW ExTank, for a good example of a cDc file check out “Silent Applause” under the Funny Stuff section of my web page. From your post about unbalanced people you would probably love a lot of the cDc essays.
Gee, I’m flattered - I never thought you took me seriously as a human being to start with!
By all means, mock, if you feel so inclined. I’m sure Lynn can deal with it 
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Personally, I don’t know what the fuss is all about – I followed Tank’s (pre-snipped) instructions to the letter, and I couldn’t get the damned thing out of the parking lot. Those bastards don’t handle worth beans.
Also, those rotten untrustworthy bureaucratic military bastards took all the stinkin’ ammunition out of it, so what good is it anyway?
Alas, I am sad to report that the local Communist Party headquarters is safe for the moment. How about appending a ‘Useful Tips for Beginners’ section next time, huh Tank?
It’s hard as heck to get ammo for those things, too. My local gun store doesn’t even carry 105 millimeter rounds, factory loaded or otherwise. (Although I suppose I could just use five 9mm and six 10mm rounds instead. (Hey, if Tom Slick could patch a half-dollar-sized hole in his gas tank with two quarters, this should work for me.))
Lynn: Mock, mock. Mock, mock.
Mock.
You have now been officially mocked.
:
: I don’t know how I can ever get over this. Woe is me, I’ve been mocked by a pro! I might have to resign my position, I cannot find the strength to go on!
Lynn the Packrat
Ahhhhh, Tracer?
Your combination of rounds still has one teensy-weensy niggling little problem:
the 105mm and 120mm tank rounds are electrically fired by 1.5v DC at I-forget-how-many amps (a C-cell battery will do the trick, though).
God, I can see the headline now: “Army Ammunition Specialist blows self and Multi-million ammo dump up while playing with battery.”
Now, if the room temperature superconductor is ever figured out, then the Rail Gun will obviate these ammo problems; a quick trip to the hardware store will quickly outfit you with enough lethal projecties (assuming some ferrous content) to level just about anything and everything you could want to.
Thanks for the links Konrad. I’ll check 'em out when I have time.
And my dear Mr. Crick (with his trusty sidekick Watson, of course!): most modern military equipment comes with as many in-built skills as a team of design engineers with several years of planning and a multi-million dollar budget can cram into them.
If you couldn’t get the damned thing out of the motorpool, it comes as no surprise to me that you also couldn’t figure out how to use a 70 some-odd ton vehicle as a weapon. 
<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>
<FONT COLOR=“BLUE”>“There’s no such thing as a dangerous weapon; there’s only dangerous people.”</FONT>
Damn! So if I had just remembered to leave my brain at home, everything would have worked out fine? Thanks for the tip – you military guys really do think of everything.
In engineering we trust!
Communist Party Headquarters, here we come! Yippee!