Fuck the landlords who are going to be responsible for closing down the only decent Goth 'club in this city. I get one more night to party and then it’s back to the one-offs and live music until another venue is found. Past experience says this will take at least a year, and it certainly won’t be in walking distance anymore. Fuck that shit!
Dear District Office: Find the person who spent $60,000 to re-seed the practice field and fire them at once. Because they didn’t bother to think about “Where are we going to park the 1000 cars that usually park on that field for Graduation?” Had they thought of that, they would have held off on the re-seed until after school is out. I swear, the people on Lost talk to each other more than people at the D.O.
I’m intrigued by this. Why would the woman not want to sell you tram tickets? In what country was this and what language was she expecting you to speak?
Hey! My T is strong and full bodied and I’m teeming with it! I got so much T it’s oozing out my pores, driving all those poor ovulating women insane!
Um, yeah, I reckon it’s all just gonna toodle on off in the sunset…along with my faculties, continence, ambulation and whatnot…I’m 44 and I can tell those things are just waiting for me to blink so they can disappear on me. But hey, I’ll have a full head of hair!
Just in response to this, occasionally, just like all other vehicles, bicycles have to take a left turn on a street where left-turners must be in the left lane. This seems to confuse many car drivers, who seem to think cyclists only go right and straight. Getting on the sidewalk is technically illegal for a bike just as it is for a car, though I sometimes have had to do it when a bunch of cars would not let me into the left lane despite my frantic hand signalling.
*bolding mine. Que? 
Fuck you stupid woman in the Exploder who jackrabbited away from the light and jammed in front of me this morning in order to slam on her brakes to make a right turn–why in hell couldn’t you just get behind me? There was NOBODY THERE!
Fuck you left knee–okay, so I bashed you into a steering column once at high velocity, but A) it wasn’t my fault and B) it was 28 years ago! The dislocated hip is okay with it, the herniated discs are calm, but YOU, motherfucker, you just have to keep on whinging about it. GET OVER IT, stupid body part!
Fuck you drunk homeless kids, it’s bad enough I have to avoid driving over you as you pitched your goddamned camp right in our office driveway but to get all surly and jackassish when the SO told you to move along was uncalled for. Look, there’s a middle school right across the street and you aren’t setting a good example for the kids. Also, you are able bodied and have no fucking excuse for living on the streets–you all three looked to be in your early twenties. Get a fucking job you shits! At the very least, can’t you just go sleep in the park that’s a block down the street? Why next to the dumpsters and out into our driveway? That’s just annoying–the old drunk homeless guy who USUALLY sleeps there is a lot more unobtrusive and he moves right along on his own when I pull in at seven. So you also kept him from his usual spot, what a bunch of shits you are for that, too! I can’t say I’m too sad that after the two non-belligerent ones moved on and took their stuff with them the SO waited for several hours for confrontational cussin’ boy to move HIS shit along and when he didn’t the SO took the hose to his bedroll and soaked it. You deserved it, you fucking punk! Nice to see the regular guy was back today–too bad he didn’t find your nice warm sleeping bag, because he’d dry the thing out and it would be a big improvement over his tatty sheets and ripped blanket–he could probably use your fancy camping sleep pad, too. Privileged homeless kids, is there anything more fucked up?
Fuck the guy across the street for actually looking at the collection of tickets fluttering under his wiper(s) for once, and noticing the warning about being towed, thus depriving me, my wife, our neighbours, and the bylaw officer of the entertainment of watching his three stretch limos finally being towed away to the impound lot, where he would have to pay exorbitant sums to have them released, adding to the over $3,000 in tickets he has already accumulated in less than a year.
Make no mistake – I have no desire to pass on my genes. But it would be nice to go through the motions every now and then.
I think they have practice dolls for that… 
Stop freakin’ raining! We’re in Texas for christ’s sake, it’s not supposed to be this wet. I’m throwing a party with over 40 RSVPs (so far) and my house is under 700 SF. Where the heck is everybody gonna go if I can’t use the backyard?
Does your neighbor have indoor plumbing?
Amen. I could say that this is the worst hiphop song ever but I’m just going to be disproved in another 2 months when another song about absolutely nothing becomes a smash hit.
I think that’s a combination of balls and cohones.
Fuck you interesection solicitors! Sure you’re probably raising money for a good cause, but you’re fucking up traffic and making my driving even more difficult. there’s plenty of shitty drivers in Chicagoland and one of your asses is gonna get run over.
And fuck you lap top key board. Your shift key blows. I could have typed this post up in two-thirds the time if you’d act like a normal keyboard. And don’t get me started when you had that ‘sticky key’ thing going with the shift key…
Especially when you’re in a town that’s not your own and they’re soliciting for local stuff. I don’t want to to support YOUR fire department, I want to support MINE.
Not to mention - I research the causes I give to! I’m not even giving 50 cents to some guy on the street! How do I know you’re not just going to keep it! Don’t touch my car!
Burger King lost a sale the other day when I tried to order a breakfast item at 10:35-5 minutes after their pointless deadline. What, will the fried eggs contaminate the Whoppers or something?
When I worked at McD’s forever ago, the problem was that the burgers and eggs cooked at different temperatures, so the grills would be cleaned and changed over a few minutes before lunch. Of course, we still had eggs enough to tide us over, but we didn’t hold them long.
Here riding on the sidewalk is a gray area, since the advanced riders ride in the street and the kids and housewives all ride on the sidewalk. The law doesn’t state which one is correct, and the police are known to punish both. Right or wrong, a cyclist riding at a slow speed on the sidewalk presents less of a safety hazard to everyone than one riding in the street on the wrong side, directly into oncoming traffic (which is what I was ranting about).
I just realized my original post may not have been clear: I’m a cyclist, not a motorist. Most of my riding is done in the far left lane (traffic drives on the left in Japan). My rant was about clueless cyclists riding on the same side of the street as me, but coming straight at me so I have to either slam on the brakes or dodge around them. They piss me off because of the direct hazard they pose to my safety. If it weren’t likely to cause me to drift into traffic, I’d take a swing at them as they go past and knock the cell phones right down their throats.
Heh, good one. 
My mother’s cousin (“N”, I believe I’ve complained about her before) called yesterday and spent 45 minutes bitching at her for the way she chose to set up the new house. Among other things, she’s absolutely horrified that Mom chose to set up her computer in the family room. Oh, and the rug Mom is looking at for the dining room isn’t “the right brand” (translation: it’s under $800). :rolleyes: