I used to think this about Minnie Driver, but then she lost a bunch of weight and got “hot”. Oh well.
There’s Paris Hilton. Hell, everyone’s got a chance with Paris Hilton.
I stay very thin and well moisturized. 
I think that most of the celebrities who were born before 1895 would have a hard time turning me away.
as a straight woman I also have a thing for sarah silverman… I would love to hang out with her as I GET her. I can image us having dinner and drinks and laughing until we pee our pants. I think I would get along well with some of the tv chefs too.
What’s Alicia Witt doing these days? She’s highly intelligent, musical, and was always hot. Besides, she seems not to have cottoned too well to Hollywood, or it to her.
She was in this season of Justified. Played the smart sister of a white-trash family. She was great.
Either Drew Barrymore or Zooey Deschanel, Or, hopefully, both of them. I know Drew would be on board with that idea.
None of them. Not a one. She would have a hard time proving to me that we weren’t on a hidden camera show.
Taylor Swift. We’re both self-absorbed.
I don’t have a chance with regular ordinary people. Or even desperate dangerous people. So I can’t play.
I’ve always figured that Jeri Ryan was just playing hard to get - here defined as “living on a different continent and being totally unaware that I even exist”, the little tease. But neither she nor I are getting any younger.
Lindsay Lohan, if I had certain items to barter with.
Drugs, basically. Drugs.
Given my age, it’s doubtful any female celebrity who is a possibility would be interested and any of my attempts to do anything other then a polite conversation would creep her out.
Just gotta catch her between albums when she’s looking for material.
It would have to be a gay male “of a certain age,” and more or less my type. And still alive.
David Hyde Pierce
Greg Louganis
Dan Savage
I think, maybe, H.P. Lovecraft. Aside from a) Neither of us being gay, b) the horrible racism, and c) him being very, very dead.
A contemporary female celebrity, though? Ha. When she calls me, I’ll tell you. But until that happens, every part of the concept is so far beyond my experience that, quite honestly, I don’t even know how to seriously think about it. 
Ke$ha, cause well…
or Lil’ Kim not that I’m willing
Hard to say - maybe Wilford Brimley? Pros - he’s single, seems like a nice guy, might conceivably notice me (average looking woman in her fifties) and I like oatmeal too. Cons - he’s Mormon and I’m atheist and I’m not single.
Oh…if the stars ever aligned correctly, Tina Fey.
Smart, funny women are my kryptonite.
See, my way of asking this question (to make it seem more plausible in my head) is: If I were stuck on a deserted island with a celebrity, what celebrity would eventually get desperate enough to break down and have sex with me?