When you meet someone you are considering dating do you immediately assume that everything they tell you is true and that they are who they say they are until they prove otherwise or do you require proof in the form of action before you trust them completely?
I met this guy on a dating site. We started talking last Monday. We had our first date on Friday. We have no friends in common so everything I know about him is what he tells me about himself and what I observe when we are together. He is very sweet but he seems perplexed by the fact that, though I believe him when he tells me things, words mean less to me than actions. Being on time for dates, respectful of the people around you, and affectionate towards me (in a non-creepy way, of course) means more to me than all of the flowery compliments in the world. I believe in taking time to get to know someone before opening my heart, or my legs for that matter, so that I can look back on a situation with no regrets for the decisions I make if and when it ends.
He is the exact opposite. He wants to trust immediately and fill the conversation with flowery compliments and sexual innuendo. Even though my ad specifically said that I am looking to take my time and I don’t want to rush into anything he seems almost offended that I am not ready to invite him into my home or my pants after only 9 days of conversation and two in person dates. Whenever the conversation turns to sexy topics he delves into a lot of detail in a narrative format and asks a lot of strange questions. (How do you feel right now? When did you realize you first felt that way? If I were to X, then Y, then Z, then X again, how would that make you feel? What if I did X and Y to your Q?) He got very panicked tonight because after he asked me to list all the things I think are sexy about him I didn’t ask him to list all of my sexiest attributes in return. It seems like because he needs the words and the compliments he expects that I should too and that I’m not really into him if I don’t need him to say all of these things to me.
We are trying to find a happy middle ground where he doesn’t feel rejected and I don’t feel forced but it is difficult. I am turning to the dope to try and figure out which one of us is the weird one.