Which Doper did it? : The Game

[Sample_the_Dog]

@JThunder

Yes, that is what I meant. I’m not familiar with any doper by that name, though.

Broken Spoke isn’t the most prolific poster out there and seems to have been active for only a couple of months about 3 years back.

But hey, it works, no? I say we frame him!

[Sample_the_Dog]

@JThunder

Yes, that is what I meant. I’m not familiar with any doper by that name, though.

Ok, then how about plain ole spoke-, who’s been hanging around the scene since '99?

[Monstre]

@Sample_the_Dog

Hmmm… I’d guess Monopoly Money if it weren’t for the large animal tracks.

Is there a doper called “Monopoly Money”? Hmmmm… I did not know that.

But you are correct in presuming that the large animal tracks are an important part of the clue.

[JThunder]

@Sample_the_Dog

Ok, then how about plain ole spoke-, who’s been hanging around the scene since '99?

We have a winner.

[Maxxxie]

@Sample_the_Dog

Mirror Image egamI rorriM

That’s the one!

[Sample_the_Dog]

@Monstre

Is there a doper called “Monopoly Money”? Hmmmm… I did not know that.

Yes, another legacy handle who posted for less than a year.

Maybe laina_f can help clarify a couple of questions re the guidelines:

1. Are there limits to who can be referenced? Eg, should we stick to current or “classic” (ie, older but well known) Dopers?

2. What’s the protocol on posting new mysteries? I assumed one had to solve a mystery to post a new one.

[ioioio]

@Sample_the_Dog

Maybe laina_f can help clarify a couple of questions re the guidelines:

1. Are there limits to who can be referenced? Eg, should we stick to current or “classic” (ie, older but well known) Dopers?
2. What’s the protocol on posting new mysteries? I assumed one had to solve a mystery to post a new one.

Who’s gonna enforce these rules if we had them? It’s a free-for-all.

[Nametag]

@Sample_the_Dog

Brother Cadfael is right, picker.
Our story continues…

“You say the perpetrator crushed her victim with an enormous fruit?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What sort of fruit was it?”
“A green apple, sir.”
“A green apple… Where could she get a green apple the size of a car?”
“There’s only one place I can think of, sir.”
“Well, you’d better get some detectives down there, then.”
“Yes, sir… uh, sir?”
“What is it?”
“Do we have any submarines in the motor pool?”

I’m not aware of a Doper called Blue Meanie or Green Apple Bonker, but if there is, that’s the one. Meanwhile, here’s a clue:

The detectives had little to go on; just a few pages of an incredibly – nay, deliberately – bad space opera, and the expertly dissected corpse of the victim.

[ioioio]

Please excuse capitalization errors/inconsistencies. MSWord has its own ideas about capitalization.

I think this was meant to be a clue. Cuauhtemoc?

@cuauhtemoc

Are all these clues part of the same big investigation? Do they all tie together somehow? I thought each one was a separate case to be solved. Okay, so the case isn’t cracked yet, it’s just a few more pieces of the puzzle.

@roger thornhill

Clue: She’s alive. Or should that be, a life?

Clue: Apparently he died of his own hand, emulating his Greek philosophic hero.
The victim might have worked in a pharmacy.

@Sternvogel

Clue: Strangest thing – we got surveillance camera footage, time-stamped 9:35 a.m., of this guy wearing a green shirt and blue jeans. However, in a cellphone picture taken by the victim at 9:36 a.m., the perp’s sporting a red sweatsuit!

@Only Mostly Dead

Clue: The top suspect in the newest murder disappeared from the heart of the police presence yesterday. His daughter is being interviewed as to his whereabouts.

@picker

Clue: There were reports from the neighbors that the perpetrator broke into the victim’s house, raided the liquor closet and proceeded to ride the victim’s dog around in the pasture until it collapsed.

@Anaamika

Clue: The death of the Tooth Fairy was a real mystery. Police said the only thing left at the scene was a note, addressed to the Tooth Fairy: You don’t exist.

@JThunder

Clue: Police informants mentioned that the suspect was decidedly non-melodious, and so was subsequently replaced with an expensive piece of jewelry.

@Sample_the_Dog

Clue: The police didn’t know who did it, but they were certain the motive was a last ditch attempt to get money, since the perpetrator’s public assistance had been cut back severely.
“Are you certain this person was a recipient of public assistance?” the Chief asked.
“Absolutely. And we know they were willing to go to any means.”
“Anything else?”
“Only that they prefered to speak in slang.”

Clue: According to police, the killer is a large man with an extensive criminal record. However, it is not know whether he committed the crime himself, or commanded one of his zombie henchmen to do it for him.
“What else do you know about him?”
“Not much, sir. Just that he enjoys alliteration and rhyme.”
“What about the suspect you were going to question?”
“Dead end, sir. He had the same first names as the suspect, but when we got to him, he had been murdered.”
“Murdered? How?”
“Seems he had killed an old lady and was threatening her grand daughter when a vigilante chopped him to pieces.”

**Clue:**The crime scene investigator didn’t know quite how he was going to explain this one to the chief… but he was certain the perpetrator had smashed her victim with a piece of fruit the size of a Volkswagen!
“You say the perpetrator crushed her victim with an enormous fruit?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What sort of fruit was it?”
“A green apple, sir.”
“A green apple… Where could she get a green apple the size of a car?”
“There’s only one place I can think of, sir.”
“Well, you’d better get some detectives down there, then.”
“Yes, sir… uh, sir?”
“What is it?”
“Do we have any submarines in the motor pool?”

[Sample_the_Dog]

@Nametag

I’m not aware of a Doper called Blue Meanie or Green Apple Bonker, but if there is, that’s the one.

“Sorry, sir, we checked out those aliases and came up with nothing.”
“You say the perp is a woman?”
“Well, no, not exactly.”
“Whaddya mean, ‘not exactly’?”
“We believe she’s a minor.”
“I see. What else do you have?”
“She seems to identify herself heavily with her homeland.”
“OK. Let me know when you come up with any new leads.”

[JThunder]

@Nametag

I’m not aware of a Doper called Blue Meanie or Green Apple Bonker, but if there is, that’s the one.

Have you forgotten about pepperlandgirl?

[Sample_the_Dog]

@JThunder

Have you forgotten about pepperlandgirl?

Case closed!

[picker]

@Nametag

The detectives had little to go on; just a few pages of an incredibly – nay, deliberately – bad space opera, and the expertly dissected corpse of the victim.

This can only point to one creature - our own pillar of sag-ass-ity Qadgop The Mercotan
Rather than post a new clue, I will re-post my own unsolved clue, with some additional hints:

@picker

Clue: There were reports from the neighbors that the perpetrator broke into the victim’s house, raided the liquor closet and proceeded to ride the victim’s dog around in the pasture until it collapsed.

Maddening Hint: Irish dopers should be able to get this from the decription alone, should they be well versed in the more esoteric elements of Gaelic superstition & characters.

[Scott_Plaid]

I almost know this one, not from this board, but from Mercedies Lackey books, “The dog of Calchian” or something

[Scott_Plaid]

Stupid microsoft error reporting. I could’t cut and past around the error message, but I could press send. So…
Cuchulain? No user by that name. Damn.
Setanta?
Mabon?
The Hound of Culann?
No, I am barking up the wrong legendary tree. I’ll look through my books and come back later.

[Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine]

"Crime #23094834: The suspect was seen by several witnesses escaping in a fire engine left at the scene by rescuers, loudly honking its horn and pumping his fist in the air while yelling.

This one wouldn’t be as obvious as Go You Big Red Fire Engine, would it?"

I’m a female!

[Sternvogel]

@picker

Maddening Hint: Irish dopers should be able to get this from the decription alone, should they be well versed in the more esoteric elements of Gaelic superstition & characters.

Should Cluricaun be sweating out his potentially impending capture?

[picker]

@Sternvogel

Should Cluricaun be sweating out his potentially impending capture?

Yes, yes he should…

[Nametag]

@picker

@Nametag

The detectives had little to go on; just a few pages of an incredibly – nay, deliberately – bad space opera, and the expertly dissected corpse of the victim.

This can only point to one creature - our own pillar of sag-ass-ity Qadgop The Mercotan

Correct!

Clue: Witnesses reported two perpetrators, last seen fighting over a blue sword.

[Nametag]

[quote]
I think this was meant to be a clue. Cuauhtemoc?

@cuauhtemoc

Are all these clues part of the same big investigation? Do they all tie together somehow? I thought each one was a separate case to be solved. Okay, so the case isn’t cracked yet, it’s just a few more pieces of the puzzle.

:smack: Of course it’s a clue – to our beloved DirkGntly!