Which "Friend" Should Die?

Cafe Society
1

I am ripping off this subject thread from Great Debates (which was totally unrelated to the TV show) and am turning it into a plot line for the final episode of Friends.

Assuming you were a writer for the show, and as the big surprise ending you were going to kill one of the main actors; which one of the cast of Friends would you kill (no fair killing them all) and how would you do it?
My plot:

Ross’s monkey, Marcel, comes back in the second to last episode and everybody who had ever been on the show is seen briefly with the monkey. At the end of the episode, Ross gets a call that says the monkey has rabies.

On the final episode, they show how each person interacted with Marcel and…yes…Ross dies. And as a final kicker, they show how the monkey got the rabies - from Janice, who was infected by her dog and when the monkey jumped on her, she bit the monkey and infected it.

2

I think that Joey would be the logical choice.

He gets a big break to be in a movie, goes to film, and some accident on the set (falling light rig, bad sandwich from a food tray, etc…) kills him.

or Phoebe perhaps…
Murdered by a stalker. Her old boyfriend could catch and kill the murderer.

Heres my favorite:
They all die. Major catastrophe at the apartment takes them all out at once.

3

I second all of them… at the hands of Phoebe before she takes her own life.

4

Third all of them. Perhaps they could all be confined in an enclosed space, where their combined suction would cause the air-pressure to drop so low that their blood would begin to boil at body temperature, resulting in death by excrutiatingly painful embolisms all around. With a laugh-track.

5

I’m going with all of them. Gunther, who has never been Captain Sane, brings an Uzi to Central Perk and takes out the entire crowd.

Sure, it doesn’t fit with the tone of the series, but how many ‘final episodes’ do?

6

Well, if it had to be just one, I’d make it Rachel. I HATE that whinny BITCH!!! Everything she does just pisses me off, and I hate her voice! Ross is an annoying asshat, but I feel he’s been repeatedly screwed over and over again by the show, he needs some sort of break. Of course, having Rachel die isn’t something that would make his life any happier, but he’d be able to raise his daughter alone, and if it came down to either or, he’d definitely be the better parent.
But if the apartment collapsed and killed them all, I wouldn’t mind.

7

The entire cast gets pulled into the black hole of Ross’s suckiness and implodes. At this point, Ross has a heart attack and dies.

Or perhaps he could die in some kind of Darwin-Award-esque way like shaking a soda machine for change and having it tip and crush him.

8

Lets not be too harsh, 'member the question is what ‘character’

I would kill Ross - I HATE that guy :smiley:

9

I guess Joey is the weakest link. Measuring all of them…

Chandler: he is the strongest in my opinion. A lot of the humour relies on his sarcasm.
Phoebe: she brings edge and unpredictability.
Monica: everyone revolves around her nest and her nueroticism is still funny
Rachel: I dislike how she has been made so prominent since she hasn’t much depth beyond whom she’s currently dating.
Ross: what happened to you man??? Bittertown.
Joey: sure he is the foil for a lot of jokes but anyone else could step in.

Crazed soap opera fan killing a la Brooke Shields!!!

10

Ross - hopefully in a painful and grotesque manner (insert imagination here).

11

Ross clones a raptor.

The raptor chomps the entire cast.

Everybody cheers.

12

Ross is getting married again (doesn’t matter to whom). He buys cheap wedding invitations and dies from glue poisoning. Even better, just before he dies, Ross realizes that he is gay.

13

Perhaps they could all get jobs making only $750,000 per week and starve to death.

14

Joey kills himself in a fit of jealousy after Phoebe and Ross get a gig hosting a variety show on network TV…featuring Pheebs on the guitar and Ross on the organ. They move to L.A. and die when an earthquake hits while they’re filming the pilot.

Monica gives Chandler food poisoning, then, in her grief, she OD’s on canolis.

Rachel dies from utter insipidity.

15

Monice dies giving birth, Chandler has to raise the child alone.

16

All of them.

17

Ross and Rachel get back together, but she ends up killing him when he mentions that they were on a break.

18

They are all in a tall building that gets hit by an airplane.
D&R

19

Ross—please!

20

I don’t recall the episode that included this exchange, but it seems fine to me. Phoebe is telling Joey what will happen to them in the future:

Joey: And what happens to Ross?

Phoebe: Oh, we have words, and I kill him.

Works for me:) I used to really like Ross, but he’s turned into such a dillweed.